


We Are Made From Broken Parts (We Are Broken From The Start)

by Miralana



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Boypussy, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Bonding, Gaslighting, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Underage, Pining, Post-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:23:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miralana/pseuds/Miralana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snoke forcibly bonds with a young Ben Solo and pulls him to the dark side.<br/>Years later Leia Organa tries to figure out how to get her son back while Kylo Ren has long given up any hope of escaping his personal nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Hollywood Undead - We are
> 
> For [this](https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=723514#cmt723514) tfa kinkmeme prompt:  
> "What if the reason Ben went to the dark side was he was an omega and the Alpha Snoke forced his bond onto him and exerted his will over him? How would the resistance (and Han and Leia) react? Would they be able to rescue him?"

Kylo Ren was in pain.

“Look at you…” his Alpha said and scratched down the sensitive scar tissue that ran through his whole face. It hurt, but Kylo Ren had long learned to expect pain and tried to draw strength from it. He wasn’t always successful, but his life was filled with enough pain that there was never any danger of there not being a next time.

“Bested by an untrained scavenger girl.” His Alpha walked around in a circle around him, fingers moving over his naked body. Sweat and slick were dropping from his body, had been for the past two days. The only thing that made him stay where he was and not shy away from the touch was the undeniable _need_ to be touched by his Alpha.

His Alpha’s feet stopped in front of him and Kylo knew that he was expected to look up to his him, to see the bulge in his trousers where he was affected by the pheromones that Kylo’s body was pumping out – even though he would not do anything about it – but he couldn’t, he couldn’t look at him by himself. His face was forced up with the force, hair falling in his eyes and the look on his Alpha’s face was a mixture of disgust and boredom.

“And now you don’t even have your looks to compensate for your weakness.” His Alpha clicked his tongue and shook his head. Kylo felt the need to apologize, to do everything in his power to make his Alpha happy. He wanted to throw up and felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes.

“You have neither power, nor looks, Kylo Ren,” his Alpha said. “So tell me, what kind of purpose do you serve me?” Once upon a time Ben Organa Solo would have tried to come up with something that showed he was witty, something his Alpha maybe hadn’t thought of yet. But Kylo Ren had learned the hard way that his Alpha wasn’t looking for witty or smart, he was looking for obedience and surrender.

“Whatever purpose you see fit,” he answered and hated how his body reacted when his Alpha gave out an affirmative growl.

“Whatever purpose I see fit, that is right.” His Alpha was silent for a while, moving back to his throne and Kylo mentally prepared himself to start crawling towards him and beg for a knot that his Alpha wouldn’t give him but as always, he didn’t even get what he didn’t want. “Maybe it is time to let you utilize your full potential.”

He felt a chill around his abdomen and cold dread went through him. “Maybe it is time to use you for what you’re supposed to be used for.”

 _No, no, no._ He knew that this day would come. He hadn’t always known, had let himself be lured in by lies about not being subjected to his body and being treated equal to Alphas and Betas, but as his first heat had hit, as soon as the bite on his throat had healed and the sudden desire to cater to his Mate’s every whim had set in, all that had been for nothing. And with every year that passed, he had grown more fearful, had known that it would happen before he would grow too old. Now was apparently the time.

“Whatever you deem-“

“I did not allow you to speak,” his Alpha cut him off and Kylo nodded. He was finally allowed to let his head down and he left it hanging between his shaking arms.

And then the doors opened and another Alpha’s scent hit his nose. Kylo was bonded, had been for the last sixteen years and he knew that he wasn’t allowed to let another Alpha so much as look at him, but right now he was in heat and the scent alone – young, virile, healthy – set off a reaction that his Alpha definitely noticed.

“Supreme leader Snoke,” Hux said and Kylo suddenly felt as cold as the floor. “You have demanded to see me.”

 

* * *

 

“He thought it would make him as strong as Darth Vader,” Rey said and Leia Organa felt bile rise up in her throat. “Vader had the Emperor and Ren… Ben thought that to reach his level he needed a wise and powerful teacher too. He didn’t expect-“

He didn’t expect Snoke to rape and forcibly bond him during his first heat with the First Order. The thought of the pain and despair her child must have gone through… was still going through after all these years. Leia pressed a hand over her mouth. The only thing that made her able to stand Rey’s report was the thought that Ben hadn’t been able to take a break either. Thinking of Ben would get her through this.

“Keep going,” she ordered and looked back at her niece. Rey didn’t know yet, would maybe find out as soon as she found Luke, but it wasn’t Leia’s secret to tell. Even if Rey had told her Ben’s.

“He didn’t expect it to hurt so much. He was in pain the whole time. He’s… always in pain. There wasn’t any consideration for his inexperience or his …” A noise was coming out of Rey’s throat. She was fighting her gag reflex. “or his still growing body.”

She could still remember Ben at the age of thirteen. Tall for his age, thin with hints of muscles from his training, his curly hair that couldn’t be tamed, and his wide eyes and mouth, with much more power in him than they could control. Leia couldn’t even fathom how Snoke could have done this to a child, her child.

Rey wasn’t finished yet and Leia tried to focus on her when she kept talking, but everything inside of her hurt.

“He doesn’t know this.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“That it’s not normal to be in pain. He knows something is wrong, but…” Rey seemed to look inside her memory for what Ben had been feeling and Leia swallowed. “But he doesn’t know anything different, so he doesn’t expect any kindness. It’s normal for him.”

“Does he want to leave?” Leia croaked and Rey swallowed tightly.

“He thinks about it sometimes, but he is too afraid. He … is ready to die on the battlefield, but he doesn’t want to live without the power Snoke gives him. He thinks being with Snoke makes him stronger.”

“Does it?” she asks, despite knowing that Rey can’t possibly know the answer to this.

“I don’t think so, but I’m not familiar with the sith… or the force. Or anything. I think he could be as powerful as he is now, even without Snoke. Maybe even more.” Rey straightened her back, obviously done with her report and Leia took a deep breath.

She gave Rey a smile, which hopefully didn’t look as forced as it felt. “Thank you for telling me. Could we keep this between us for the time being?”

Rey nodded and tightened her grip around her bag, before she got up. She was supposed to leave in about an hour to find Luke and Leia wished her all the luck in the world.

“Take care,” she said and the hint of a smile wavered at the corner of Rey’s mouth. She wasn’t used to people trying to take care of her that was as much as Leia had gathered in their time together.

“You too.”

Watching her leave, Leia turned around expecting Han to sit next to her with a look on his face that made her want to smother him right now, but Han wasn’t there. He would never be there again, thanks to Snoke.

“I’m getting him back,” she simply said into the air as if Han was right next to her. He would nod and come up with a stupid plan that should get them killed, but which they would miraculously survive. This time, Leia would have to do that alone if she didn’t want to lose another person she loved. She knew it was Snoke’s fault. It was Snoke who was doing this to her son. Torturing him, hurting him, pushing him in a direction that he didn’t want to go in and Leia knew that she would be able to save him. She had to.

“I’m going to bring him home.” She would bring their son home. And if it was the last thing she did.

 

* * *

 

“I have an assignment for you, General. Kylo Ren is in need of someone with your… expertise.” No one needed to ask what Kylo’s Alpha meant. There was only one reason for him to be here like this. Still Hux remained silent and Kylo dared to throw a look at him. He was holding himself unnaturally straight and there were bruises on his face. They had both failed and they had both been punished for it. But unlike Hux’ Kylo’s punishment would never be over.

“I feel flattered, supreme leader, but” Hux started and was cut off. Kylo felt the force push down on both of them.

“I am not doing you a favour, General. You are here because your intelligence and your genes speak for you.” His Alpha waved a hand at Kylo. “Get on with it.” The unspoken _Right here, right now_ , hung over their hands like an axe.

Silence followed. Footsteps came closer. Kylo felt his hands starting to shake. His Alpha turned him around with the force, on his back, his legs spread and bent his head so far back that Kylo could do nothing more than look at him. It wasn’t the most uncomfortable position he had ever been forced into but he was aware that it was only for the purpose of Hux not touching him anywhere that his Alpha couldn’t see.

“He has already prepared himself, there is no need for any kind of coddling.”

Kylo closed his eyes and was reprimanded for it with a sharp pain in his mind. He opened them again, looked at his Alpha’s figure and tried to ground himself to ignore everything that was happening around and to him like he always did in these situations while he could hear Hux’ zipper going down. Hux’ legs pushed his own further apart and he felt a hand on his hip.

 _I truly regret this_. He wasn’t sure if his Alpha would be able to hear Hux’ thoughts like he had just now but he was beyond caring. Kylo forced himself to let his mind fade. His body was ready and in need enough to do all the work for him.

He imagined a different scene around him. A warm summer evening, grass tickling his bare feet and the voices of his parents in the background. It was a happy memory where he was so much younger, so much less broken and he knew that his Alpha was following his thoughts, was allowing him these moments of peace before the corner of his mouth moved up and Kylo’s thoughts were filled with burnt grass licking at his skin, his parent’s faces, their empty dead eyes accusing him of being responsible for this, their voices telling him that it was all his fault because this had been his decision and he was the one who would have to live with it. They were right, of course, but sometimes Kylo liked to imagine that his mother still loved him, despite everything he had done. It was a foolish hope that belonged to someone else. Someone who wasn’t worn out and broken, someone who still had a future.

Kylo didn’t fight to keep the memory, he knew he wasn’t strong enough. His Alpha wanted him to drown in his own fears or accept the pain that came with being aware of his surroundings. As always Kylo welcomed his fears like an old friend because everything was better than being subjected to the cruel hand of reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably guess, this is gonna be a long one. Multiple storylines, POVs and poor Kylo in the middle of it.
> 
> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leia tries to work a different angle, Kylo gets new orders and hates everything, Finn and Poe agree on a mission and Hux thinks about his impending death at the hands of Snoke.

“I have concluded my research on the topic, General,” C-3PO said and Leia looked up from the report she was reading. She was sitting in the mess hall because she didn’t feel like being alone in her room and watching the people around her took her mind off certain – darker – things. So they weren’t the only ones in the room and she trusted all of them inexplicitly, but she raised her hand at the droid, before he could keep talking. This wasn’t a topic she was comfortable with everyone knowing, especially since someone could come to the wrong conclusion.

“Let’s go.” She got up and took her data pad with her. She didn’t think that she would be able to get any work done after the report but she could always hope. It was the only thing she had at this point. It took them longer than expected to walk through the halls to her room. There was always something going on, always some fight against the First Order to win. This was Leia’s fight and there was no one here to help her. Han was gone, Chewie hadn’t returned from dropping Rey off – and she doubted that he was willing to help her right now – and she didn’t trust anyone else with these information, yet.

“What did you find?” she asked after she had set down. Even after a ten days she could still smell Han’s scent in her room from the few hours he had relaxed between his arrival and his departure. Or maybe she was just pretending, to keep herself sane.

“To be honest, general, there weren’t a lot of things that we don’t already know,” he answered and Leia closed her eyes. “It is nearly impossible to break a bond. My research has only confirmed that knowledge.”

Leia’s hand gripped the data pad tighter. No, she refused to believe that she could do nothing for her son, that she couldn’t be the one to safe him from this horrible situation. She was his mother, it was her job. She felt like she was drowning, being buried alive and she bent forward, her head between her knees, trying to calm her breathing.

“General?” C-3PO asked and put one of his hands on her shoulder. She knew that it was meant to be comforting, but right now she couldn’t find any strength in herself to accept it. She couldn’t accept the gesture, she couldn’t accept doing nothing. They had limited sources at their disposal, especially since the Republic had been destroyed at the hands of the First Order, but there had to be something, there had to be something that could give them the information they needed. If the First Order could have been able to find Luke by using old imperial archives, then they could find something as trivial as that.

Leia stopped in her thoughts and looked up.

_Old imperial archives._

Maybe there was someone out there, who she could trust to do this. Of course she couldn’t reveal all the information, but maybe enough to finally get some good news.

“Has Finn awoken yet?” she asked. They had promised to keep an eye on him, but Leia had to admit that she had been so occupied with other things that she had ordered C-3PO to do just that.

“Three days ago. He should still be in the med-bay.”

Leia got up before he had finished his sentence. They needed to get into the imperial archives. And there was no one more suited for that, than a former stormtrooper.

Leia felt hope rising in her again.

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren felt hope leaving every inch of his body.

“So you failed,” his Alpha said, fingernails tapping down on the armrest of his throne. Kylo kept his face up, an attempt to show no fear where there was plenty. There was also the reason that he didn’t want to look at the place where he had knelt ten days prior, begging for a cock like a common whore. If the thought had filled him with dread while being in heat, now it left him mortified and disgusted. He still couldn’t believe that he had debased himself like this, that his body had responded like this to someone who wasn’t… who he didn’t belong too.

“The medical officers say that my heat cycle was too far advanced. They recommend to start at the beginning if a successful breeding is desired,” he quoted them, straightening his posture. He hoped that it was not desired. He couldn’t do this again. He would of course, if it was demanded of him. It was the only way to achieve his goal.

“Well then,” his Alpha said and waved him over. Kylo followed his command immediately, hoping for a good result. His Alpha pointed at the floor between his knees and Kylo knelt down, hands on his thighs. He wasn’t worried about having to perform sexual acts. His Alpha hadn’t ordered him in over five years and even then it had been a punishment _. But maybe this was a punishment._

A finger found its way under his chin and Kylo was forced to look up into his Alpha’s pale blue eyes. “I’m assigning you back to the Finalizer, same status as last time. You will execute my orders, but don’t interrupt the work they’re doing.”

Kylo nodded, relief floating through him. He could continue reading the new materials he had been given, trying the exercises and following the orders, to become stronger and complete his training.

But then his Alpha continued his orders. “You will let the med staff perform a test on you every day. If there is a day outside your heat where your fertility is higher than normal, you will alert General Hux and there will be another try for an offspring.” _You will be on your back, you will keep your feet and hands on the mattress, look at him so that I can see how he reacts. Let him knot you, let him touch you as much as necessary, but you will not touch him yourself unless it can’t be helped._

Kylo shuddered. “As you wish.”

“There shouldn’t be a lot of those days. If you are not pregnant when your heat hits, you will try again under the same conditions.”

“I may not be able to control my body during a heat,” Kylo said weekly and the sneer on his Alpha’s face made him want to crawl up in a ball.

“I’m quite aware of your weaknesses, Kylo Ren. Your nature excuses certain errors in your behaviour, but I will be aware if there is too much of that.” _I will be aware if you’re enjoying yourself too much._ As if Kylo could ever enjoy himself while being mounted like an animal.

“Thank you, Alpha,” he said and his Alpha nodded.

“Leave me now. I’m awaiting the General to tell him of this honour.”

Kylo got up to his feet without stumbling, which was more than he would have expected. He hurried out of the room, sensing Hux from behind the doors and looked straight past him when he passed him. He would have to see enough of General Hux in the next few weeks.

 

Stamping through the citadel wasn’t as satisfying as doing it through the halls of the Finalizer or Starkiller Base. His Alpha didn’t have stormtrooper around who were scared of his anger. Actually, there was no one around. Sometimes one of the knights would stay here, but most of them were on their last steps of completing their training, just like him, so they only came when they were summoned. It had always been lonely, and while Kylo liked to think of himself as someone who didn’t mind being alone, he did mind. Having people around him, feeling their presence, no matter what or who it was had always been more desirable than just being alone. It was one of these stupid Omega things and Kylo hated it.

The doors to his room closed behind him and Kylo fell against it, hands and back flat to the door. The room was sparse; the Knights of Ren weren’t allowed to have any belongings around for a longer stay and Kylo hadn’t been able to bring any of his things since he had been unconscious when he had arrived.

Years ago the spartan room had seemed like freedom to the cluttered mess his room at home had been. He had never been allowed to get rid of the things he had, because his mother had reminded him that he couldn’t just throw a toy away when he was getting bored with it just because they could afford it.

But the more he looked at it, the older he grew, the more he realised that it was just as restricting as his childhood room. He wasn’t allowed to change anything in both rooms.

He smiled bitterly when he realised what a stupid sad metaphor for his own life it was. With his parents he hadn’t been allowed to let go and with his Alpha he wasn’t allowed to hold on.

It made him realise how glad he was, that he was allowed to go back to the Finalizer. While most of the things he owned – and the skull he couldn’t think of right now and how much guidance he had lost – had been on Starkiller Base, his quarters on the flagship were his and his Alpha had never set a foot in them. He didn’t keep a lot of stuff around because his Alpha could show up at any point and realise that he wasn’t keeping his rooms the way they were supposed to be, but it was enough to make them feel bearable. Bearable was everything Kylo could hope for at the moment, when he had turned into such a huge disappointment.

He managed to shove himself away from the door, ignoring the cracks he had forced into the surrounding walls with his mind and walked towards the table, where a bag full of the things he had been given was lying. Looking around, he sighed again and left the room. He turned left this time, making his way to the shuttle that would bring him – and Hux – to the Finalizer as soon as Hux had received his orders.

The thought alone made him shudder.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry I don’t think I understand,” Finn said, his voice as weak as it had been when he had first awoken. In those first few hours when they had told him that Rey had left to find Luke Skywalker alone, he had felt like the loneliest person in the galaxy. Up until the point where Poe and BB8 had barged into his room, despite the nurse’s reminder that Finn was too weak to have company. But Poe had charmed the med-droid away because that was apparently something that he could do and taken up residence in Finn’s room for as long they would let him every day.

It had been one of the most awkward things of his life at first because Finn had feared that the easy camaraderie they struck up had only been in his head. But Poe being Poe hadn’t let himself be taken in by the quiet first seconds. There hadn’t been an awkward moment between them in the three days since he had woken.

Right up until the point where General Organa – and Finn still couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to Leia Organa in person – had walked into his room, the golden droid behind her as usual. In that moment Finn had felt like he had done something wrong, like Poe shouldn’t be smiling at him like this even though there was nothing bad going on there. Just friends doing friends things.

“I need someone to sneak onto a planet the First Order uses to store unused possessions.” She repeated her earlier request. “Weapons, soldiers, ships and information. It’s a planet-“

“I know which planet it is, stormtrooper get trained there,” he interrupted her and winced. He couldn’t just interrupt her. She was the leader of the resistance.

“Then you will have no problem fitting right in and finding some dearly needed information for me in the archives of the empire.”

The archives of the empire… Finn wasn’t sure if he understood her right. Mostly because he didn’t want to understand her. The thought of going back to this place, so close to the First Order… A shudder ran down his back and Poe’s head snapped up, probably smelling his distress. He couldn’t return to the First Order just for something as trivial as information.

“What kind of information?” he inquired. “Because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get into their archives. Especially if they’re classified.” And he also didn’t want to take one step closer to them.

“We’re trying to find out something about bond-breaking,” was her simple answer and there was an edge to her answer that told him that she didn’t expect him to ask more questions.

“It’s impossible, everyone knows that,” he said instead. Finn didn’t know a lot about bonds and sexual relationships, but they had been told about this during their training. Bonds were to be avoided at all cost.

 _“If you should find yourself in the … position to bond with someone… if you feel the sudden need to bite someone in the neck, you are to report to your nearest supervisor immediately.”_ He remembered the instructor saying, a bored look on her face. Finn didn’t really get what the big deal with a bond was but then, there were a lot of things he had never been taught. _“Under no circumstances are you to follow that need. Misdemeanour will be punished severely.”_

So how could she even expect to find anything new about this? There was only one way to break a bond and that was death. And why did she even want to know something like that? Weren’t there more important things they should care about? Like, the First Order.

“Is this about Kylo Ren?” Poe’s voice filled the silence and all three of their heads snapped over to him. “Rey told me that he’s an Omega and mated to Snoke. Breaking their bond would weaken the First Order immensely.”

Finn blinked once. Twice. Kylo Ren was mated to Snoke? He … well it certainly came a surprise. He never would have thought the man to be an Omega or mated – not that he had ever met someone who was an Omega or mated, those things were frowned upon in the First Order. Especially… Finn paused and looked over to General Organa. Her lips were pressed together and even though he couldn’t find any other emotion on her face he remembered the real reason. But Poe… Poe didn’t seem to know that for General Organa this wasn’t only about weakening the First Order. She was still trying to get her son back. And she was willing to risk Finn’s life, his freedom and his sanity in the process.

“That is the plan,” she said.

“We already tried everything, when-“ Poe’s mouth snapped shut when General Organa raised her hand. Finn had been told that General Organa was normally a relatively calm person who didn’t use her designation to stop people from objecting, but right now she didn’t seem to care about that. Finn’s nose crunched when her Alpha scent hit his nose and Poe tilted his head slightly to the side.

“It’s different this time, Poe, please leave it at that.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier just to kill one of them?” Finn asked, not sure what exactly they were talking about and her head snapped over to him.

“If we could find a way to kill Snoke we wouldn’t be in this mess and Kylo Ren has shown himself to be quite resilient. We’re pursuing every angle.”

Finn looked her in the eye and the emotion in there changed. It was the same look Solo had had in his eyes, right after Ren had left with Rey. Back then Finn had thought the man to be angry at himself for letting him get away with Rey, but now he knew that he had been angry because he had let his son get away. General Leia Organa wasn’t going to let that happen again.

“I will go,” he said, his voice sounding braver than he actually felt and the smile on her face was so full of hope and relief that he didn’t even feel that bad about being manipulated. “But I can’t fly a ship.”

“I’ll go with you,” Poe offered and Finn turned his head around again.

“You can’t, they need you here.” He wanted nothing more than to have Poe by his side, but he was way too important to risk his life on a mission like this.

“It’s an easy job, fly there, get the infos, and fly back. A week tops. And the First Order is licking their wounds, they say the Finalizer hasn’t moved since it left after the Battle. And I already know about the mission.”

“You’re right,” General Organa answered, to everyone’s surprise. “I don’t like sending you, but I believe that your skills as a pilot are deeply needed.” But it felt like there was something more, when she was looking at Poe. Damn it, why couldn’t Finn know these things?

“Then it’s done.” Poe smiled that smile at him again, that made him feel weird and Finn smiled back at Poe. When Poe turned to BB8, already talking about what they would have to do, Finn turned around to General Organa. The look in her eyes was mournful and pessimistic and Finn was sure that she knew she was sending them on a suicide mission.

 

* * *

 

_“The coupling does not require extensive touching or kindness, General.”_

_“I understand.”_

_“You will do your duty, as I have commanded you. I expect there to be no marks on his body, I will however, understand any damage that comes from having to take control over the situation.”_

_“My apologies, Supreme Leader, I don’t understand.”_

_“He has a tendency to change his mind midway through. Omegas and their attitudes, you understand. Since he has already agreed to accept you, you are ordered to enforce this order under any circumstances.”_

_“I won’t disappoint you.”_

 

Breandan Hux liked to think of himself as a calm collected person. He wasn’t someone who spent unnecessary time or energy on too many emotions unless it could improve a situation. He wasn’t someone who screamed, or yelled.

Right now he wanted nothing more than to scream and yell and hit something. And he wasn’t the only one. Ren was thrumming with energy, fists tight, shoulders hunched. Had been since they had stepped onto the shuttle, half an hour ago. It was making everyone antsy, even the stormtrooper at the other end of the ship.

Ren was sitting across from him, hood pulled deep over his face, eyes closed. He hadn’t replaced his mask or maybe Snoke hadn’t allowed it, but Hux already knew that it would get them into a lot of trouble. The mask and his clothing filtered most of his unsuppressed scent and while Hux trusted his officers under normal conditions to not make an ass of themselves and insulting the Supreme Leader by lusting after something that was already taken, most of his trusted officers had been on Starkiller Base. Which meant that the first thing Hux would have to do on the Finalizer would be to find people he could promote. And he had no idea how they would react to Kylo Ren being so… unmasked.

Hux understood that kind of reaction, of course. While he couldn’t stand Ren and despised him for his petulance, his lack of control and the obvious factor that there was only one reason why the Supreme Leader had put him in his current position, he had a pretty face, with wide eyes and a lush lips. Brendol Hux would scoff at the sight of him, too tall, too muscular because the Alphas in their family preferred to go with the desired Omega statue of being small and thin. Biologically an Omega like Ren promised healthy children, with a body strong enough to carry multiple pups at once. The Hux family had never cared about that, as long as their line had continued so they had always been able to afford this kind of treatment. His own mother had been tiny, barely strong enough to survive one pregnancy. The third one had cost her her life, a price that his father had been willing to pay. But Hux could admit to himself that Ren was pretty, that he could have been attracted to him if it weren’t for his personality or the fact that he already belonged to someone else.

In fact Hux was becoming more and more aware of the fact, that the order he had been given was a test that would result in punishment if he slipped up. He couldn’t quite grasp why the Supreme Leader would use his own mate to see Hux fail. Maybe Ren had volunteered because he wanted Hux to be executed, he could believe that. But why Ren would go as far as having Hux fuck him – and maybe impregnate him – he couldn’t explain. But maybe Ren’s biological needs had just kicked it – Hux didn’t know a lot about Omega and their needs, had never cared enough to know more than the basics. He looked over to Ren, who still looked like he might start tearing the ship apart again.

 _We’re both being punished_ , he reasoned. The supreme leader – or Ren or maybe even both of them – wanted an heir. But Ren had displeased him too much, to touch him himself. Alphas from older generations were known to have a strong hand with their mates. He couldn’t really see Ren being into something like that, but maybe that was precisely the reason. Ren had displeased his Mate as much as his leader and now he was bearing the consequences.

“What?” Ren snapped, aggressiveness reaching Hux’ nose and realised that he had been staring at him the whole time. It was good to see that Ren hadn’t lost his temper. Hux hadn’t been sure how much control the Supreme Leader had over his mate’s emotions.

“Have you any other orders that I should be privy to?” he asked. It hadn’t been on his mind, but if Ren was going to continue acting the way he had before the destruction of Starkiller Base, then Hux would like to move the few important people he had left out of the way.

“I will need a training room. And my shuttle with men at some point.”

He nodded in confirmation. So everything would continue as it had before. Mostly.

“Have you given thought to how we should proceed?”

Ren flinched and bared his teeth at him. Hux wasn’t willing to get into a fight with someone he was supposed to have sexual intercourse with - again - in the future, but he straightened himself and pulled his lips back. Under normal circumstances, Ren would have pushed down on him with the Force, making up for his naturally submissive nature, but this time he looked away, sighing.

He looked so miserable Hux couldn’t even enjoy winning their staring battles for the first time. “Your room?” he suggested, because bringing Ren into his own quarters, his territory was bordering on things that would get him killed. Ren nodded. Glad that the other man wasn’t going to fight him on this, Hux leaned back.

“I’ll inform you over the coms if something is going to happen,” Ren said and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hissed in pain, when he pushed down too hard on his scar and Hux rolled his eyes at him.

“Do it before breakfast, so that I can assign someone else to do my job.”

“Fine.”

With that Hux knew that their conversation was over and he reached for his data pad. They had about fifteen more minutes on the shuttle and he still had to figure out which people he should promote. There simply weren’t enough good officers left. Maybe they should send a headhunter to the academy soon. The First Order might have lost some of its interest for some people after their defeat, but Hux was sure that there were enough people who might be suitable for the kind of job he needed.

 

_“Do you have any other questions concerning the relocation and reconstruction of the resources that are under your control?”_

_“No, Supreme Leader, I think I know how to rebuild everything we have lost.”_

_“You have lost, general. It was only your failure that led to the loss of our weapon.”_

_“Of course. My apologies. I am fully responsible.”_

_“Do not forget that. Your youthful arrogance might be your downfall. A lesson in humility might do you some good.”_

_“Of course, Supreme Leader.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a wild plot appearing at the horizion? 
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com). If you have anything you'd like to tell me you can do it in the comments (I answer every comment on principle) or you can send me an as or a message on tumblr.
> 
> Update schedule - as of now - is every two weeks. So the next chapter will be posted on 29th January 2016


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hux holds the most emotional speech of his career, Finn suspects the truth and Kylo's day just gets worse and worse.

It was so silent in the mess hall of the Finalizer that Kylo could have heard a needle drop. The stormtroopers didn’t make a move, the officers knew better than to look around even if it had been about three minutes since Hux had entered the hall.

Kylo stood a few meters behind him, leaning against a wall. He had entered before Hux, hood deep in his face, but there had been a few officers who had flinched when they had seen him. No one had given him a second look so far, which was good at least. There were a lot of things Kylo was ready to deal with today. Asshole Alpha’s weren’t one of them. But everyone was too busy staring at Hux, getting ready for whatever speech he had prepared. So far he hadn’t said anything. He kept taking a deep breath as if he was trying to say something, looking around. Kylo could feel that the uncertainty that he was trying to project was fake, but he also knew that it worked. Everyone was anxious. Even Captain Phasma kept clenching her hands around her blaster.

“Three-Hundred-“ Hux suddenly started. “-fifty-eight-thousand-two-hundred-and-seventy-six lives were lost during the destruction of the Starkiller Base.” He looked around. “The resistance attacked us where we were weak, using one of our own – a traitor, liar and murderer – to infiltrate the base and destroy it. And with it our people. _Your_ people.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and hoped nobody would look at him right this moment. Without the mask he felt naked, felt like he had to control his facial expressions much more than he was used too.

“There is an old saying. Betrayal never comes from your enemies. It always comes from the ones who are closest to you. And this is what happened here. This is what caused hundreds of thousands of us to die.” Hux crossed his arms behind his back.

“One of you,” he addressed the stormtroopers. “Decided that killing his own and detaining us from bringing the order to this galaxy that it so desperately needs, is the right course of action. The First Order is built on the principle that we all must work hard, that we all must make sacrifices to achieve our goals. Peace. Peace through the galaxy, for every living being. Peace through Order.”

Kylo reached out to the stormtroopers minds. It was astonishing how much they believed considering how the Order acquired them – conditioning and little to no free will were probably the cause for that. They hung on to Hux lips, absorbing his words like a sponge into their brains. And then there were a few that didn’t think like that. They thought that maybe it was worth it. Kylo made note of them, remembered them. They didn’t need another FN-2187.

“But one of you, one of us, thought that his own life was more important than our cause. But no one’s life is more important. Not yours, not mine. We all live for it and we will all die for it. We all make sacrifices to bring this galaxy to a new and glorious future.” One of the stormtroopers that Kylo had focused on dimmed, changed his mind. Kylo’s sneered. Hux and his speeches.

“We will not stand for this! We will not stand for the slaughter of thousands of innocent people at the hands of the resistance. We will rebuild what was lost, we will grow stronger and we will avenge our fallen brothers and with it the traitorous resistance who would rather see this universe sink into chaos than admit that sacrifices must be made. For you. For me. For all of us.”

The noise when the stormtroopers yelled their affirmation made Kylo wince. He wasn’t used to being present at these, so the sound came as a surprise. Hux stepped back, letting one of his officers fill in and announce the changes that were to be made to their routine. Hux’s eyebrows went up when he saw Kylo leaning against the wall, as surprised as everyone else had been before, that he had decided to listen.

“Not your best speech,” Kylo said and a nerve ticked under Hux’ eye.

“They needed something emotional.”

“That was obvious.”

“And why are you here? Do you need something too?”

Kylo couldn’t ignore the obvious meaning behind Hux’ question and shook his head.  He wasn’t here for that – he hoped that he wouldn’t have to be here for that for the next two weeks. Thinking back to his examination this morning, he realised that his hope might be worthless.

 

_“You will feel a steady enhancement of your senses in the next few days, if I’m correct.”_

_“Why? That’s only supposed to happen during a heat.”_

_“Under normal circumstances, yes, that’s correct, sir, but you’ve told me that you’re not wearing your helmet at the moment. That helmet filtered a lot of pheromones that your body didn’t have the chance to get used to. With all the Alpha’s around the ship, there will definitely be a reaction. Especially since your body has already realised that there was an attempt at conceiving during your last circle.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_“It means your body has caught on to your actions and is now doing its best to help you along. It happens a lot with Omegas who decide to give birth before it’s too late.”_

_“Too late?”_

_“Oh, you know, sir, too old. Not that you’re old, I didn’t mean that, it’s just… Omega bodies are prepared to give birth the second they hit their first heat, which didn’t happen with you, so your body is trying to help you to correct this mistake. Not that any of the decisions you made considering your body were mistakes, sir, I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just a mistake of nature! Sir, please, calm down, it was not my intention-“_

Kylo wondered if he should inform Hux of the destroyed med-droid but decided against it. Hux would be informed at some point and make a fuss about it anyway.

“Seven stormtroopers think that deserting might be the right thing. And one of your officers,” he simply said and Hux’ face darkened.

“Submit their names to the control center.”

Kylo nodded and pushed himself away from the wall, ready to get back to his quarters and try to meditate a bit. When he passed Hux, the Alpha called him back.

“Ren?”

Kylo turned around to him.

“I might need your” he gestured with his hand “ _thing_ during an interrogation at 1600.” Kylo nodded, even though he didn’t understand. If Hux thought that the person he was interrogating wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, then why didn’t he let Kylo do it from the beginning.

“I’ll be there.”

“I’ll inform you which room as soon as I know.” Hux swallowed, the corners of his mouth turned down. “And… thank you.”

A grin stole itself on Kylo’s face before he could stop it – he really needed a new mask – but he didn’t answer and just kept going.

 

* * *

 

Finn tried to bend his arm as backwards as possible. Looking in the mirror, he realised that he still wasn’t reaching everything he was supposed to reach. The bottom and the top of the scar he had managed to coat with a thin layer of bacta but the rest? Not so much. Finn pressed his teeth together and pushed a bit more, but the further his arm bent, the further his whole body bent and it wasn’t working at all.

“You need help with that?” Poe’s voice came from the pilot seat and Finn flinched. He had nearly forgotten that Poe was there. He was currently waiting on intel coming in through some kind of … well to be honest Finn wasn’t really sure. They were waiting for intel, so that Finn could sneak into the base and find out things about bond-breaking without being noticed.

“I think I can manage,” he answered, embarrassed because he wasn’t a child and he didn’t want Poe to think that he couldn’t take care of his own wounds.

“Your whole lower back is covered, buddy,” Poe said and Finn hated the affirmative noise BB8 made. He sighed.

“Just the middle?”

Poe smiled at him – and Finn’s heart made a little leap; he really wasn’t used to having friends do things for him – and came over. Finn felt his face go red when Poe gently took the can from him and dipped his fingers into them.

“Just a thin coat. It’s mostly healed, it’s just not supposed to dry out,” he said and Poe snorted.

“I’ve been there when you got the instruction.”

Finn just hummed and did his best not to flinch when Poe’s finger rubbed the slimy mass over the sensitive scar tissue. He was gentle about it, much more careful than Finn had been and he wanted to protest, that he didn’t need to be pampered, but Poe smelled so nice and he hummed some melody that Finn didn’t know. He didn’t realise that Poe had put the cane aside at some point and started digging his thumbs into the muscles next to his spine until it hurt.

He hissed in pain and Poe clicked his tongue. “Are you sure that you’re doing your stretching the right way? I don’t think you’re supposed to be this tense.” Worry coated his voice and Finn was still not used enough to someone expressing this kind of emotion for him, to actually appreciate it.

“It’s because I hold my back the wrong way, when I walk because of the pain. As soon as it has healed it’ll stop.”

“You’re still in pain?”

“It’s not that bad,” he reassured Poe.

“You shouldn’t go alone.”

 _Oh._ So that was what that was about.

“I can take care of myself. And I know the way around the base.”

“But if you’re hurt, you can need another pair of arms. Or eyes. Or everything.”

Finn sighed and turned around. Poe’s fingers remained on his skin while he did it and for a second they came to rest on his chest until Poe dropped them and straightened his posture. Maybe Finn wasn’t the only one feeling weird. He just wasn’t sure why.

“You’re not a stormtrooper. You don’t know how to behave.”

“It’s military, it’s not that different.” They had had a long discussion about this during the flight. Poe had been insistent that he should join Finn, but Finn knew that they could never pass of Poe as a stormtrooper.

“We-“ He rolled his eyes at Poe’s frown. “Stormtroopers are trained to behave a certain way. The second someone looks at you, they would know. Maybe you could talk yourself out of it, but they could smell that you’re not a Beta or an Alpha.” And if the worst happened and they would get taken in for inspection, they would order them both to strip. And then Poe would definitely not be able to hide his Omega status.

Poe just shrugged. “So what. You can’t tell me that there are no Omegas in the troops.”

Finn just looked at him and shrugged.

“That’s not possible. Do they test the babies DNA or something? How could they…” Poe stopped, an unimpressed look appeared on his face. “They only take babies with dicks?”

Finn nodded. He hadn’t even been aware that there were other designations that male and female Alpha and male Beta until someone had led an Omega officer into the classroom who was about a day away from heat, to explain that there were different designations and that this should be ignored under any circumstances. He remembered the three troopers who had tried to jump the officer. Someone had taken them down. Finn had never seen them again.

“ _That_ is fucking sexist.”

BB8 beeped. Finn blinked. “They’re a genocidal organisation that wants to take over the galaxy and that’s what bothers you?”

Poe grinned. “I believe in my rights, even if it’s in a genocidal organisation that wants to take over the galaxy. Who came up with that idea?”

“Um…” Finn stopped, not sure if something like that had ever been mentioned. He couldn’t remember. He did remember though that it had been a thing for as long as he had been there so… “Probably General Hux’ father. They say he had a few nasty ideas about Omegas in the Order. His son is stricter with the enacting of the laws, but less of a …” he wasn’t sure how to describe it. Some words just didn’t come as easy to him because he had never learned them.

“Sexist douchebag?” Poe offered and Finn nodded. “Have I mentioned how much I adore that family? Insane megalomaniacs, all of them.”

Finn snickered at that and Poe smiled. It took him about ten seconds of stupidly looking at the way Poe’s lips moved when he laughed before he realised that he should maybe dress himself.

While he slipped his shirt over his head, he heard Poe say: “So we agree on me joining you?”

“Poe…” he said under his shirt and Poe laughed again.

“Sorry, buddy, can’t hear you.”

Finn sighed. Maybe he could just leave without anyone noticing. When BB8 rolled against his leg, he realised that his chances might be pretty low.

“Why do you want to go so much?” Poe was a Resistance fighter, a pilot, but he wasn’t a soldier. He probably knew that it wouldn’t do him any good, even if he might help when they were in the actual archives.

When he could see again and looked at Poe, Poe’s smile was gone. “If there’s a way to break a bond, then I just want to do everything in my power to help find a way.”

“Why?” he asked, confused. He didn’t know a lot about bonds, but he knew that they were usually a good thing. Or maybe they weren’t and his supervisors had lied to him. Maybe bonds were actually a horrible thing. “We never learned much about them,” he explained, because he felt embarrassed about not knowing this kind of stuff.

Poe was silent for a moment, fingers drawing circles on the table. “Makes sense that the Order doesn’t allow it. A pity. Um…” He scratched his neck. “Bonding… it’s something you only do if you’re really sure because it can’t be broken. It’s such a big deal because it creates a chemical reaction in the brain… Like if two people bite each other, they feel like the other one is the most important person in their life and they would do everything for them. There’s this need to do everything that your Mate asks of you. You’re able to know that it’s wrong and that it’s not beneficial for you, but you’re also not able to stop yourself most of the time. I guess a child is the only person that might become more important at this point. You would feel like you’re constantly under pressure to make your Mate as happy as possible.”

Poe raised his hand quickly. “Which isn’t a bad thing if you’re Mate feels the same, because you balance each other out.”

“But?” Finn asked because it felt like Poe was leaving something out. Mostly the reason why he wanted to know how to break bonds.

Poe sighed. “A bond doesn’t have to be two-ways to work. Sometimes one-way bonds are created.”

“How?”

“Rape,” Poe said simply. “It happens or happened a lot to Omegas in heat, because our body tells us that bonding is the best way to get protection so we won’t fight it when some asshole forcibly bonds us. Or when a couple agrees to bond and as soon as one has taken, the other one just doesn’t go along with it.”

“Why would somebody do that?”

“Because people are assholes?” Poe scoffed and Finn tilted his head. There seemed to be something… more.

“Is everything okay?” he asked and Poe smiled sadly.

“I happened to a friend of mine a few years ago.”

“Oh?”

“She was an Omega and met this Alpha. They started dating and she agreed to spend a heat with him after a few months and then he did it.“ Poe sighed.

“What happened to her?” he asked with a bad feeling.

“Next day she just left. Both of them. We never saw them again. We tried to find her, General Organa was adamant to rescue her but we didn’t. And well… most bonds that are forced don’t hold long. We don’t think she’s alive at this point.” Now it made sense. Finn felt like he shouldn’t be able to believe that somebody could be this cruel, but he had grown up in the First Order. There was nothing that was too cruel for them.

Forced bonding might be one of them.

Silence followed and Finn tried to make sense of it in his head. “So someone could do something that they would normally never do against their will when they’re the victims of a one-way bond?” Poe nodded and Finn felt a headache growing. His scars started itching. And now General Organa was trying to find a way to break a bond. Could it be that she thought her own son was a victim, much like Poe’s friend?

“Do you think something like that might have happened to Kylo Ren too?” he asked. There was some part of him that wanted to tell Poe that Kylo Ren was someone named Ben, that he was General Organa’s son. Especially if his assumption proved to be right. But he didn’t.

Poe seemed to think about the question for a few moments before shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I mean I don’t know how Ren came to be with Snoke, but he doesn’t really seem like someone who isn’t happy where he is.”

Finn thought of dead stormtroopers, of slashed up rooms and broken bodies. Of Han Solo falling to his death and Kylo Ren being so desperate to get the light saber. Something felt wrong, but he couldn’t name it.

“You’re probably right,” he said and absent-mindedly scratched the scar on his back.

 

* * *

 

“Can you explain how it is possible that the shields were lowered with a security code that leads back to you, Lieutenant-General?” Hux asked just as Kylo entered the room.

A nerve ticked in his brow. It was 1615, Ren should have been here fifteen minutes ago and he had been informed of the room they would use at 1530. There was no excuse for being late. Ren sat down on the chair next to him, hood pulled back and hands lying loosely on the table. He kept looking at Phasma’s unmasked face, the faint scars on her skin and the short blond hair. His nose crunched and Hux looked away. If Phasma was surprised by Ren’s face or his scent she didn’t show it, but he could see the faintest flare of her nostrils.

“Around 1140 that day I was on my way to Lord Ren. He had requested my assistance with finding a prisoner. I ran into FN-2187 and two others,” she answered and Hux pulled up three files on his data pad.

“Are these the two individuals that you encountered?”

Phasma leaned forward and took a look at them. “That is correct.”

“For the record, Lieutenant-General Phasma identifies the two beings in the company of FN-2187 as a human named Han Solo and a Wookiee named Chewbacca.” The leather on Ren’s gloves made a clenching noise next to him but Hux paid him no mind. “Please keep going.”

“The Wookie overpowered me, they took away my weapons and dragged me to a command room from which it was possible to access the shields. Two of my men were killed and they ordered me to lower the shields while holding a weapon to my head.”

Hux leaned back, hands crossed over his stomach. “And what did you do?”

“I lowered the shields.”

He clicked his tongue. Phasma… He couldn’t believe it. He had always thought of her as one of his best officers, someone he could count on.

“The regulated action in this case is to accept your death and not let enemies into our base, Lieutenant-General.”

She nodded and Hux sighed, reaching for his data pad. This day wasn’t going the way he wanted it to go. He respected Phasma and counted her as something as close as a friend as someone of a lower rank could be. Punishing her – and they all knew what the punishment was in this case – was really not something he looked forward to.

“Why did you do it?” Ren suddenly asked and they both looked to him. He was staring at Phasma, probably using the Force or something and Phasma seemed at loss for a moment.

“I… I didn’t think it would give them a big advantage. The Republic couldn’t help them so it was just their own fleet and we were about to fire the weapon. I expected minimal casualties on our side and a lot on theirs.”

“So you wouldn’t have done it if we hadn’t destroyed the Republic?” Hux asked, aware that he was giving her an easy out where he should have pressed for more. He wouldn’t mention it, but he was glad for Ren’s question, even though Ren seemed like he was already bored with the subject.

“Of course not,” she said.

Hux blinked a few times and pushed his finger down on the pad again and again. He wanted to believe her and he needed her abilities for the First Order but the regulations were there for a reason.

He opened his mouth and snapped it shut when he felt something press against the inside of his eyes.

_Not yet._

“Please excuse us, while we come to a decision, Lieutenant-General.”

Phasma nodded and got up. She left the helmet on the table, the cuffs around her arms blinking and reminding everyone that she couldn’t because they would find her. Not that Hux believed her to be willing to abandon the Order. She would wait in the vestibule, where no one would be able to look at her face.

He turned around to Ren as soon as she had left the room and looked into his dark eyes. Ren didn’t seem bored exactly, like Hux had expected, but more like he was anxious. Like he couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to being around people without the help of his mask. With the way his nose kept flinching, it might even be the scent that was throwing him off, just like his scent was seriously throwing Hux off. What was wrong with him?

“Not everything is about my designation,” Ren snarled at him, sitting up straight and Hux pressed his lips together. Aggressive pheromones hit his nose and this close they smelt nearly enticing. Stupid Omegas and their stupid biology.

“I wasn’t aware that I was allowing you in my head.”

“Isn’t that why I’m here?”

“To verify _her_ statement, not to snoop around in _my_ head. That is a clear violation of privacy that I won’t allow you.” They had talked about this a hundred times. Most times Ren manages to stay out of his head, only projecting thoughts into it when needed, but Hux hated it when he took a look into his mind. Mostly because he could never know when it would happen. He didn’t know how Ren did it because he witnessed Ren pull information out of their prisoners’ minds and they certainly felt it.

“Violation of privacy…” Ren chuckled, his tone bitter and Hux resisted the desire hit Ren with his data pad.

“Have you found what you are here for?” he asked instead, teeth pressed together and Ren’s head turned around to him. Hux suddenly felt like he needed to move. To step back or closer, he wasn’t sure. Kylo Ren was an utterly distracting creature, whose head Hux would love to hit against the table again and again sometimes.

“She’s telling the truth. She thought the whole Resistance fleet would perish and that we would be victorious.” Ren’s head turned back around, like he was dismissing Hux. One day Hux wouldn’t be too busy to act on every desire he had. Ren would probably cut him down with his lightsaber for hitting him repeatedly with whatever thing would have been in his hand at the moment, but somehow he thought it might be worth it.

“If that was everything?” Ren made an attempt to get up and Hux shook his head.

“You’ll need to verify the sentencing.” Defacto Ren had the same rank as him, even if it annoyed Hux to no end, but there was no one better as a witness on the report.

While Ren made a big show of slumping down in his seat Hux called Phasma back in and she sat down, an impassive look on her face. At least she was able to control her facial expression.

“Please state your name, rank and serial number for the record.”

“Devyn Phasma, Lieutenant-General, 41849638.“

“You are accused of aiding the Resistance in the attack on Starkiller Base, killing hundreds of thousands in the process. Your testimony has been recorded and can be accessed for proof. You are hereby sentenced to a probational period of eighteen months, in which you will be closely monitored. Every decision you make might be put under question, your security clearance for information and access will be put under review and might be lowered in certain aspects. Do you accept your sentence?”

He held out the data pad to her and Phasma pressed her thumb on it. “I do.”

“The questioning and the sentencing was carried out by Breandan Hux, General, 47907307,” Hux pressed his own thumb on the pad. “The questioning and sentencing was witnessed by…”

Ren rolled his eyes. “Kylo Ren, independent contractor, 50001254.”

As soon as the pad had expected Ren’s signature Hux pressed another button. The cuffs around Phasma’s arms opened and she took them off.

“Sentencing is official, you may put your uniform back on.” He expected Phasma to reach for her helmet as fast as possible, but they were both startled by Ren, who got up and marched out of the room without another word.

They both looked after him until Hux shook his head and closed the folder on his pad.

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to have him running around without the helmet, sir,” Phasma said, her pale eyes flickering to the door.

“That was not my decision to make.” He frowned. “There won’t be any complications, I assume?”

She straightened her back and looked right at him. “Absolutely not. I was just thinking about the working conditions on the ship. Our troops are already anxious, it won’t do them good having Ren around smelling…” she trailed off, aware that she wasn’t supposed to speak about a higher ranking officer like that. But Hux understood her concern and let it slide. He wondered if Ren was as affected by their scents as they were by his.

He wasn’t sure if the Supreme Leader was forcing Ren to take something or if his body had caught on that it was supposed to get bred as soon as possible and was reacting accordingly.

Ren wasn’t in heat yet, wouldn’t be for another two weeks, but he already smelled ripe for the taking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering that Phasma is obviously higher ranking than a captain and that they're talking about the three of them as a triumvirate, I gave her the rank right under Hux'. Kylo is not under military command but has the authority of a general.
> 
> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash.
> 
> Next chapter will be posted on 12th February 2016 and remember, comments are always appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn and Poe make an unwelcome discovery, Kylo's week gets ruined and Hux finds himself in the midst of family and Kylo drama.

“Okay,” Finn said and blinked a few times. “This looks different.” He tried to connect the sight in front of him with the memory of his time at the base but something was definitely off. Maybe it had just been too long since he had been here, but Finn had always prided himself on having very good memories and he was pretty sure that there was supposed to be more here.

“What do you mean?” Poe asked. They had knocked out two troopers and taken their uniforms before slipping into the compound.

“There was a whole level here that was restricted,” Finn whispered and hoped that no one was coming their way. They weren’t on a main hallway precisely, but everyone who was on one and happened to look into the corridor they were standing in would be able to see them immediately. Finn was pretty sure though, that no one was in the general vicinity. He couldn’t explain it, but he just knew.

“Officers would always disappear into it, but stormtroopers weren’t allowed.”

“And that was where the archives were?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe they moved it somewhere else?”

Finn had once gotten a good look at the specs of the base when he had been interviewed for a special position by Captain Phasma right before being assigned to the Finalizer. He remembered nearly everything and there was absolutely no space for something as big as the archives – or the machines to host the archives – anywhere on the base that wasn’t right here. Or had been right here, considering that the whole part seemed to be empty. He was about to say that when he suddenly knew that someone was coming closer.

“Someone is coming,” he hissed and Poe looked around wildly.

“No one is-“ he said and then stopped because two stormtroopers were coming down the hallway.

Finn forced down the panic that threatened to overwhelm him at the thought of being found out and straightened his posture. Out of his peripheral he could see Poe doing the same and the stormtroopers looked over to them.

They were young, was the first thing he noticed. About half a head smaller than him and Poe, one seemed to be a Beta, the other one… there was no scent so he was probably still undesignated. Not even teenagers then.

Maybe.

“Trooper!” he said and both of them stopped walking. “Your rank and serial number right now.”

“Corporal NE-2739, sir,” the Beta said. “And this is private NE-8914.”

Finn nodded and felt sweat trickle down his back. “At ease, soldier. Second Lieutenant, JB-007. I was assigned to oversee work in this part of the base, but have found it empty. What happened?”

“They emptied it three or four days ago, sir,” the private said and NE-2739 tilted his head in Poe’s direction. _Oh shit._

“Were you on the ship that was stuck because of an engineering problem, sir? The captain said something about there not being any new order, didn’t she, three-nine?”

Nothing happened. The Beta just kept looking at Poe. Finn was about to say something when Poe did so himself.

“Is there a problem, corporal?” Poe asked and the Beta flinched.

“Sorry, sir. He’s right, the captain said that.”

“What happened to the part after it got emptied?” Finn demanded to know and hoped that this kind of information wasn’t too high-ranking for these two kids. Or that the gossip was strong at this base.

The Beta responded this time and only after he stared at Poe for another second. “I’m not sure what exactly they’re doing with it, sir, but rumour has that they loaded it on a freighter that was to depart to somewhere in the outer rim.”

Now that was really weird. Why now? Why only the archives? Did they know they were onto them?

“Who gave that order?” Poe asked.

“General Hux, of course, sir.” What was going on? Finn looked over to Poe, who nodded like this made a lot of sense.

“That would be all,” Finn said. “Dismissed, move along.” The two troopers saluted and then went on their way. Finn waited until they were out of earshot before he turned around to Poe, while starting to walk fast.

“There’s no way they’re not gonna mention that to someone, we need to get out of here.”

 

Thankfully the corridors were mostly empty and they managed to sneak out of the base without a fuss. They left the uniforms with the still knocked out troopers from before, and climbed into the ship.

As soon as Poe had started the ship and was preparing for take-off Finn fell into the co-pilot seat. He felt like a big weight was taken off of him. They had made it out. They were alive. Only a million other confrontations with the First Order left.

“That didn’t go so bad,” Poe said after a few minutes and Finn’s mouth fell open.

“Not so bad? That one nearly found out because you smell so good! We should be glad that he wasn’t an Alpha.”

Poe looked over to him, a smile on his face. “I smell good?” he asked and Finn felt his whole face flush.

“I just mean,” he tried to defend himself because he knew enough about etiquette to know that this wasn’t a compliment that friends gave each other. “I mean biologically speaking, you smell nice, no, that’s not…” he trailed off and wanted to scream in frustration. He motioned over Poe’s body with one hand. “You know the whole thing you have going on.”

Poe seemed to want to ask another question, but thankfully Finn was saved by BB8 rolling towards them. Poe turned around to greet the droid, but was also interrupted by a long and loud string of noises. When BB8 was done, Poe turned back to Finn, smile and playfulness gone from his face.

“General Organa send us an update on the Finalizer. They took it to light speed a few moments ago farther into the outer rim.”

Finn looked up ahead. There was no need for them to go even further out. Shouldn’t they be preparing to attack again and get closer to the core? It didn’t really makes sense to Finn. The thought, that it was just something that he didn’t understand, crossed his mind, but when he looked at Poe, his companion seemed to be as clueless as he was.

_What was the First Order doing?_

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren grabbed the handles of the examination table when he felt the Finalizer move and clenched his toes when the droid pricked him in the inner thigh with one of its instruments.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir!” the droid apologised, probably thinking about the fate of its predecessor. Kylo just rolled his eyes and then closed them when the droid went back to work. When he had agreed to this routine examination, he had forgotten just how uncomfortable it was. How much it hurt.

“Sir, could you maybe relax a little bit?”

Kylo unclenched his toes and tries to lose the muscles in his legs. He felt the thin sheet rip under his fingers and then the droid was done and moved over to a table to analyse … whatever had to be analysed. Kylo put on his pants and shoes again and folded his fingers over another to refrain from destroying the droid. He knew that this was important. It was expected of him after all. He could let out his frustration later.

“Your fertility levels are climbing steadily, sir. Not enough to try today, sir, but I think tomorrow might be a good day.”

Tomorrow. Kylo felt bile rise in his throat and fought it down. Tomorrow. Not even twenty-four hours from now he would have to let someone – and Hux of all people who probably got a kick out of dominating him this way – mount him like an animal.

He calmed his breathing down as much as he could, aware that the droid was still talking to him.

“Sir, may I ask you a private question?” the droid asked and Kylo frowned. He shrugged and motioned the droid to keep talking.

“When was the last time you had sexual intercourse outside of a heat?”

Kylo was about to bark at him that this wasn’t his concern, but then remembered that he agreed to it and thought back to a moment where…

“It doesn’t have to be full intercourse, sir, masturbation or oral stimulation count too.” Kylo scoffed at the thought of that. Kylo had never felt the desire to get himself off and he wasn’t allowed to do it anyway because only his Alpha was allowed to touch him, apart from basic cleaning procedures.

“I don’t remember.” Maybe never, now that he thought about it. Or maybe during his first heat before…

The droid nodded. “Then I would recommend to forgo knotting in an attempt to procreate, sir.”

Kylo frowned. “I’ve taken knots before.” And hadn’t that been a horrible feeling – at least afterwards, of course during the heats it had always felt amazing.

“Yes of course, but you see, the cramps that an Omega experiences before every heat are your muscles and pelvis making enough space to make a knot comfortable. Under normal circumstances a knot would hurt, not enough to make it really unpleasant, of course, especially with enough natural lubricant.”

“But?” Kylo asked because none of this explained the droids advice.

“During a heat your body is able to take a knot, but I believe that from what I’ve gathered from the examination and please don’t take this as an insult, sir, your body never got used to being penetrated outside of a heat, so having a knot expand would most likely make you tear.”

Kylo blinked and pinched the bridge of his nose. The droid flinched as if it expected Kylo to rip it apart as soon as he raised his hand, but Kylo couldn’t even feel angry anymore.

“Are you telling me that because I don’t get regularly fucked my body can’t do what it’s supposed to do?”

“Oh no, no, sir, even an Omegas body isn’t supposed to be knotted all the time. A knot is after all an instrument to ensure a successful breeding, so it goes hand in hand with a heat.”

Kylo got up from the table, ready to leave. He had heard enough.

“I would also recommend starting to masturbate, sir, it would really help with it and it does wonders for your mood.”

Kylo stopped mid step and turned around. The droid had frozen. “What did you say?”

“I just meant that relieving some tension can do wonders for high stress and aggression levels.”

He reached out for the droid with one hand and the thing scrambled toward it, while yelling incoherent things. The only thing that saved it was Kylo’s comlink going off.

“What?”

“Sir, Lieutenant Mitaka here, sir, General Hux requests your presence on the bridge, sir.”

He let the droid fall to the floor and stomped out of medical in the direction of the bridge. He didn’t answer Mitaka – and why was he even alive, Kylo was pretty sure that he choked him to death at one point – and just kept walking.

How could that droid dare to say something like that to him? He would have let the mention of his body not being able to take a knot without a heat slide, because the droid had been ordered by his Alpha to ensure that Kylo’s body would remain functional but this … remark about stress relief? It was unacceptable.

He was almost tempted to go back there and kill the thing again just for its insolence, but he didn’t want to give Hux any chance to inquire further about his whereabouts. It was embarrassing enough that he had to take a visit to the med-bay every morning.

Kylo ignored everyone in his way and marched towards the bridge. It seemed like everyone was running around heedlessly and Kylo didn’t need to pry into their heads to realise that Hux was not present on the bridge. He searched for Mitaka on the bridge, who already came running towards him. He saluted and Kylo motioned him to speak.

“General Hux was just called in for a personal emergency, sir, I’m sorry.”

Kylo felt a nerve starting to tick in his face and Mitaka crunched his head between his hands. “Captain Asera can fill you in on what is going on though, sir.”

Kylo turned around to Hux’ personal assistant – or whatever it was called, she was the officer who accepted Hux’ calls when he wasn’t present and always had an idea where he was and what everyone was supposed to do. The young Beta woman straightened herself and got up from her place, fear in her face.

“Sir, Lord Ren, sir,” she greeted him and Kylo saw Mitaka scatter away out of the corners of his eyes. Coward.

“I am instructed to inform you of the retrieval of the Archives into the cargo bay, sir. General Hux said that you requested to be present while it unloads and to be informed if anything resembling something of triangular shape is found.”

Kylo kept looking at her and she swallowed. “The engineers will unload and hook it up to our servers around 1100, sir, cargo bay H.”

“I will be present.” He was about to dismiss her when he realised that he would have to inform Hux of the medical exam. “When will Hux be back on the bridge?”

Asera swallowed again, a slight look of panic on her face. “He didn’t say, sir, Major General Ithak has the bridge, sir.”

Kylo looked over to the dark skinned Alpha women, bent over a control console and talking to one of the navigators. She was one of the new promoted officers, filling in the rank of Hux’ second in command, if he remembered correctly. Kylo didn’t know a lot about her and he didn’t care too much to find anything out. That Hux had gave her control of the bridge did mean that whatever he was doing would take time though.

“Is he in his quarters?” he asked and Asera bit her lip, looking torn between her fear of him and her fear of Hux. Kylo rolled his eyes and reached out to her mind, seeing the incoming message from Lieutenant-Colonel Brendala Hux and the urgent plea for immediate response.

When Kylo was done Asera stumbled back a few steps and he moved her chair so that she would fall down on it. “Dismissed,” he simply said and made his way to Hux quarters. Whatever emergency the Hux family had, it could wait.

 

* * *

 

“When have you last spoken to Bredi?” Brendala said instead of a greeting. Her red hair was braided back in a strict bun, but her face looked weary, with deep circles under them. Not even the freckles on her face made her look as young as she was. Hux wondered if he looked similar or if he wasn’t as easily worn down as his sister, but dismissed the thought. There had never been any rivalry between them, simply because they weren’t close in age. Bredi was the second oldest and Brendala had been born a few years after him. He frowned and thought back to the last time he had been in contact with his youngest sibling.

“A congratulated him a few months ago to the new baby.” And told him to get that damn operation, he thought. But he wasn’t sure how much Brendala knew.

“He’s pregnant again.”

“It’s been three months, the doctors said he had to wait for at least a year.”

Brendala looked at him and Hux realised that she knew everything. She knew that Bredi would die if he had another child so soon. She knew that Bredi’s mate didn’t give a damn and was a jealous bastard who hit Bredi when he happened to look at someone else and liked to keep him pregnant at all times. Hux had lost count of the many nieces and nephews he had and could only think of the worn out figure of his brother, who looked so much older than his twenty-nine-years. But what they both also knew was that Bredi’s mate was the grandson of Grand Moff Tarkin. Not even Hux could threaten him without risking a scandal.

“I spoke to father about this,” Brendala said and Hux raised his eyebrows.

“What did he say?”

“That Omegas are only made for giving birth and if they die during it, they have fulfilled their purpose.”

Hux scoffed. He had only been five when Bredi had been born, but he remembered the disappointment on his father’s face, the refusal to let Bredi go into the Academy, the refusal to address him by his name until he was mated.

“Maybe you could talk to him?” she proposed and Hux scoffed again.

“He is not speaking to me at the moment. The last time I spoke to him, he called me-“

“ _A failure for our lineage and an embarrassment for the First Order. The only reason why the Supreme Leader doesn’t replace you is because you killed all the other worthy prospects. You were promising once upon a time, but playing the servant of that Omega bitch has made you soft and weak. You are hereby disowned and I expect you to spend the rest of your pathetic days somewhere where you won’t draw attention to this family, so that at least your sister can leave an impact on this universe_ ,” Brendala quoted and made a grimace. “He made me his heir by the way.”

“Have fun.”

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments. Hux didn’t know what she was thinking about, but he could guess that their thoughts both went to Bredi. Bredi, who didn’t have anything, who was forced to endure his mates decisions until the day he died. Which would be sooner rather than later if this continued.

“I’ll think of something. I’ll get back to you within the week.”

“Thank you, Brean.”

The holo-vid went out and Hux leaned back in his chair. He threw his hands over his eyes, trying to think of some way, any way to save his brother. It was then, that he realised he wasn’t alone. The sweet scent of Omega hung in the air and Hux sighed.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked and heard the heavy footsteps that Ren was so fond of when he was angry.

“A while. Who is Bredi?” Ren asked. Hux thought about not answering, but he knew that Ren could find out if he wanted.

“My brother.”

Ren tilted his head and scrunched up his nose. Then he raised his eyebrows. It was that look he always had when he had been in Hux’ head and Hux felt annoyance flare up inside him.

“You could have asked,” he emphasized because he had answered his first question and he was in no mood for Ren’s attitude.

“Hm,” Ren made. “Why do you want to save him?”

“Because he is my brother and his mate is treating him in an undignified way.”

“You don’t usually care about things like that.”

A headache was growing inside his head. Hux forced the need to go through his hair down. “I care about the people I care about, Ren. Just because I don’t jump to the rescue every time I see someone getting abused by their spouse doesn’t mean that I’m blind to it.”

“Hm,” Ren made again and Hux finally got up.

“What?”

“I didn’t expect that.”

“That I don’t let Omega’s get abused by their partners? Who do you think I am?” Hux respected his father in a great many things. His opinions on Gender weren’t one of them.

Ren’s silence was enough. Hux gritted his teeth. “Is there anything else I can do for you or are you just here to snoop and insult me?”

Ren seemed at loss for words for a second and licked his plush lips. Hux was proud of himself that he managed to tear his eyes away after a second.

“Apparently tomorrow is the day,” Ren simply said, whole body tight as a string. He seemed to wait for some kind of reaction and turned around, when Hux didn’t give it to him.

“Huh,” Hux made, as he watched Ren leave the room in swirl of black robes and sank back down on his chair. Of course he knew that it was supposed to happen, but somehow he had thought that they would have more time. He wasn't really ready to die at the hands of Snoke because Hux was responsible that Ren broke a fingernail or something.

Opening the console again, he started making orders for the bridge. Hearing the door to his room shut with much more force than necessary – and how was that even possible they were slides – Hux rolled his eyes at whatever tantrum Ren about to throw now.

His fingers stopped on the keys.

“Asera,” he called for his personal assistant and her face popped up on the screen. “Invite Colonel Tarkin to the Finalizer. I would like to congratulate my brother in law personally on his military accomplishments and the growth of his family.”

If the channel had been closed, Hux would have let himself smile. With the way Tarkin usually behaved it would be easy to use Kylo Ren’s habit of destroying things productively this time.

“Will do, sir,” Asera replied and Hux nodded and was about to dismiss her when he caught Ithak over her shoulder. Hux pressed the mute button so that whatever he was going to say would go straight to her comlink.

“How’s the Major General holding up?” It was the first time he had left her in charge since deciding on her and Hux was glad that he had the time to observe if she was fit for the role before she would have to assume command in combat. Which would probably be sooner than later.

Asera propped her elbow on the table, thumb at her jawline, and fingertips at her eyebrow. It was a blatant violation, but Hux knew that she was trying to keep her voice from being heard.

“She’s being very… her, sir.” At his raised eyebrows her own eyes widened. “I just mean that she’s being very throughout in overseeing the crew, sir, it’s kind of distracting.”

“Hm.” Hux didn’t really care about that, he was more interested in other things, but a distracted crew wasn’t a good crew. “And apart from that?”

“Everything is running smoothly, we dropped out of light speed and she conceded to leave the pilot alone when it happened and now she’s terror- overseeing the navigators.”

“Good, have a report ready for me about today and tomorrow by the day after tomorrow.”

“I will, sir.”

She stayed on the line and Hux raised his eyebrows again. He wasn’t sure what exactly was holding her up it probably wasn’t a good thing.

“What is it, captain?”

“Commander Ren is in cargo-bay H. I just wanted to inform you of that.” She flicked her hair nervously and Hux willed the need to roll his eyes down. Not in front of subordinates, he told himself. He could be annoyed by Ren later.

“I’ll take a look. Dismissed.”

 

“What did you do?” Hux asked when he stepped into hangar H and was greeted by a bunch of frightened workers, trying to get the archives out of the freighter, while Ren was standing only a few meters away.

“Nothing!” Ren said, head snapping around to him. He looked angry, he radiated anger so much that even Hux could feel it despite not being Force sensitive at all.

“Are they not working fast enough? Did someone drop something? Have they insulted your delicate sensibilities?” he demanded to know, careful not to speak too loudly. Ren grit his teeth.

“I am just standing here and even if I was doing something, it’s none of your concern.”

“It is if you’re distracting my personal.”

“I am not,” Ren said, voice louder than before and somewhere a light flickered. A worker whimpered. Hux gave Ren a pointed look and Ren lowered his head, hood obscuring his face. He didn’t step back, but having Hux here made the workers apparently feel a bit safer. They watched as they moved a great metal block out of the ship, about the size of a TIE-Fighter. Thirty year old Empire technique at its best.

“You can’t keep doing this, Lord Ren,” Hux said, as they slowly followed to workers towards the room where they would store the archive. “Not when we’re in such a critical position right now. We can’t risk anything right now.”

“I am merely overseeing a critical part of _my_ mission, General Hux,” Ren snarled and Hux rolled his eyes. He had expected Ren to go back to his old behaviour at some point and apparently something had set him off, again. Hux could have done well without it. He had enough on his plate already.

“Then do it in a way that does not agitate the people responsible for carrying it out.”

Hux had long given up on trying to understand Ren’s emotions and attitudes. He endured them and hoped that his ship and his men survived them, but he couldn’t control them. He was just glad that Ren had never directed his anger towards him.

Until now. They had fallen back behind the workers, so they were alone in the corridor when Hux found himself suddenly pressed against the wall, Ren’s forearm pressed over his collarbones.

“You do not tell me what to do, do you understand me?” Ren snarled, teeth bared and eyes wild. The sweet scent of his pheromones made him a lot less threatening than he would have been if he had any other designation.

“You do not get to behave like a child and then make demands. If you can’t control yourself or your emotions and they endanger the work on this ship, then I will tell you what to do,” he answered.

Hux didn’t have to straighten his body or draw himself up higher, like Ren liked to do when he demanded respect. He had nature on his side and right now it was working for him because Ren instantly dropped his eyes, before looking back up with pure hate in his dark eyes. What was wrong with him now? Had he gotten new orders from Snoke? Did someone step on his cape? Or was it the thought of their impending sexual encounter that was hanging over his head?

Ren flinched. One day Hux would find out how to recognise if he was in his head.

“You know nothing.”

Ren stepped back and Hux found himself leaning against the wall, while the other man stumbled back, his face furious, his eyes… Confusion clouded Hux’ thoughts as he watched the emotions flicker over Ren’s face.

If he didn’t know better he would have thought that Ren looked afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and remember, comments are always appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kylo lies back and thinks of the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I graduated from university on friday and then I moved to the other side of the country on saturday.

Kylo Ren stepped out of the shower and rubbed a towel over his hair, before drying his skin. He looked at himself in the mirror, pale skin dotted with moles and littered with scars, the bite mark between his shoulder and his throat maybe the most prominent one. Water was dripping from the tips of his hair and Kylo knew that he should be drying his hair if he didn’t want it to look like some animal had taken residence up in there but then… did he really care if his hair looked horrible today? There was no need for vanity when his only purpose today was to…

Kylo took a deep breath, hands clutching the metal and fought to keep his breakfast down. He didn’t want to do this. But his Alpha demanded it and Kylo knew that he couldn’t go against his orders. He would have to let Hux fuck, maybe put a child in him on the first try so that he wouldn’t have to do it again and then he could go back to his mission and his training.

He could do this, he told himself. He would let it happen just as he had accepted his Heats around his Alpha, when he didn’t have the benefit of being too far away to spend them together. Not that his Alpha had ever cared about that. Sometimes Kylo thought that his Alpha was as uninterested in sexual acts as Kylo, but unlike Kylo he had a choice in the matter.

Thinking back to the words of the med-droid Kylo’s hand trailed down between his legs, over the coarse hair and parting his folds. His thumb dared to rub over the clit and suddenly Kylo was bent over, forehead on the sink, pain exploding behind his eyes. Both of his hands gripped the sink and his knees buckled. He couldn’t ignore an order from his Alpha. Looking into the mirror again, he sighed and prepared himself to endure it like this.

 

He had just rubbed his hair more or less dry and put on some loose pants and a shirt when someone rang on his door.

Kylo wasn’t that good of keeping track of the time, but he was pretty sure that Hux was supposed to get here at some point after 0800. And it wasn’t even 0730.

“So eager?” he greeted Hux, who gave him a blank stare. Kylo didn’t feel like reading the Alpha’s mind and getting an early picture of what was to happen to him, but he was pretty sure that Hux was only here because he enjoyed the thought of degrading Kylo like that. It was why he hadn’t told him about the knotting-problem. Hux would definitely get off on deciding to see Kylo in pain.

“Ren,” Hux simply said and Kylo realised that he was staring into nothingness. He moved aside and let Hux step in, his scent thankfully clean. He had obviously just showered and Kylo was thankful for that. He couldn’t deal with Alpha musk right now. The door closed behind Hux and they were alone.

Hux moved into Kylo’s quarters, looking around for a second and then turning around to Kylo. He was wearing his usual attire and even hair gel. Kylo would have felt underdressed, barefoot and clad only in pants and a shirt if he weren’t sure that he could never wear his usual clothes again, if he had to associate them with this.

“How do we proceed?” asked Hux and Kylo swallowed.

“What do you mean?” He knew that Hux didn’t need someone to tell him how to fuck, he couldn’t remember a lot about the time when he had been in heat but he remembered enough.

“You’re the one who wants to get pregnant, Ren. How? Do you want me to undress you? Are we supposed to engage in foreplay beforehand? You know how it goes.” He could see Hux rolling his eyes and Kylo wanted to bang his face against a wall repeatedly. Kylo had never had sex outside of a heat and he had never been the one to decide what to do. It was highly unorthodox for an Alpha to relinquish control and he wouldn’t have expected this from Hux. But it was probably because Kylo was already mated.

He seemed to be taking too long because Hux sighed, exasperated. “I suppose we’ll use the bed?”

Kylo nodded.

“Then we will undress and meet there?”

“That sounds manageable,” he answered and now Hux really rolled his eyes. Kylo hated him. He probably couldn’t wait to get his hands on him.

He turned around and walked the few steps toward the bed. Pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it away, he hoped that Hux would need longer to get out of his clothes. When he pushed his trousers down and kicked them to where he had thrown the shirt he could see that Hux looked angry at the heap of clothing. He was folding his undershirt at the moment, only clad in his trousers and boots.

Kylo swallowed. Blood was pounding in his ears and he tried to remember his breathing to calm himself down. He could do this. His Alpha expected it of him.

He hooked his thumb in the waistband of his underwear and swallowed again. Pushing it down felt like ripping off a band aid, but he kept his back to Hux, not willing to look at him.

“Is there a position you favour?”

“The Supreme Leader has decided that for me.”

“Then get in it and get yourself ready.”

Kylo’s nails bit into his thighs, but he slowly exhaled and scooted towards the middle of the bed, head on the pillow, legs bent, feet on the mattress. His fingers were still entangled and lying on his chest and he thought again of touching himself, but the thought alone made him feel so sick, that he didn’t even attempt to do it.

“Ren?” Hux asked and Kylo looked up, but still not directly at Hux. “Get yourself ready?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, despite knowing what Hux meant.

“You’re not in heat, you need to be aroused to ease the way.” The bed dipped and Kylo started to recite every training exercise he had ever gotten. He would get through this.

“I can’t.”

“What.”

“I’m not allowed to,” he clarified, anger searing at the back of his mind. Why would his Alpha do this to him? How could he have disappointed him like this?

“You’re not allowed to,” Hux repeated and the disbelief in his voice was so apparent that Kylo had to look at him.

General Hux was skinny, with pale skin and a million freckles. He didn’t fit the typical Alpha stereotype and Kylo was sure that there wasn’t a single muscle on him, but then Kylo didn’t look like the typical Omega himself. Hux was kneeling at Kylo’s feet, one hand on his thigh and Kylo’s eyes flicked back up before he could take a look at Hux’ cock. He didn’t need to see that.

“The Supreme Leader forbids it.”

“Even now?”

“Yes.”

Hux sighed and murmured something under his breath that Kylo couldn’t make out. Probably something about how he couldn’t believe that Kylo wasn’t willing to make it easier for him to fuck him.

“Do you have any kind of lubrication?”

Kylo shook his head.

“Then how do we proceed?”

“Just do it.”

Hux looked at him like he was insane. Kylo hated him so much.

“If you don’t want both of us to end in the med-bay, that’s not going to happen.”

Kylo closed his eyes for a second, trying to come up with some way to fulfil his Alpha’s wished, but the way it was… without a heat…

“Are you sure that there is no way for you to do it yourself?” Hux asked and Kylo nodded.

“Look at me,” Hux demanded and Kylo wanted to punch him. “I’ll do it, because the Supreme Leader ordered me to breed you, do you understand?”

“Do what?”

“Do you understand?” Hux was giving out pheromones and Kylo clenched his teeth at the scent.

“Yes, I do understand.”

Hux sighed again and moved away from his position at Kylo’s feet. He slapped Kylo’s knee and Kylo spread his legs, fear gripping at him again. But Hux just kneeled down between Kylo’s spread legs, resting on his heels and took his thumb in his mouth.

Kylo watched him, not sure what exactly Hux was doing, but when the thumb popped out of his lips with a sound and moved down between his legs, Kylo propped himself up on his elbows.

The first touch of someone else’s hands was foreign and weird and Kylo was about to ask what Hux thought he was doing when his wet thumb rubbed over Kylo’s clit.

Kylo’s whole body jumped. Hux did it again and again, his other hand on Kylo’s hipbone, rubbing circles into the area right above his pubes. His mouth went dry and he bit his lips to stop any sound from coming out. Hux fingers dipped deeper down and Kylo could feel them circling his entrance and coming back down, wet and warm. Kylo had never felt arousal outside of a heat, but this right now, this felt similar. Just that he wasn’t completely out of control.

Kylo expected Hux to get on with it, now that he was starting to get wet, but Hux kept rubbing his clit until Kylo’s breathing became hard and wet.

“Ren?” Hux asked and Kylo swallowed before looking at him. Hux face was read, his green eyes nearly swallowed by his pupils and Kylo knew he should feel disgusted by him, but he couldn’t when Hux kept moving his thumb.

“It’s not enough and I don’t want to rub you raw. Are you okay with me doing more?”

He was asking Kylo as much as he was asking Kylo’s Alpha. But his Alpha wouldn’t want him to be damaged would he?

He shrugged. “Do what you must.”

Hux nodded and stopped touching him. Kylo was about a second away from reaching down himself, pain be damned, when Hux crouched back, bent forward and put his mouth right where his thumb had been.

With the first flick of his tongue over Kylo’s clit, Kylo’s leg went over Hux’ back and he could barely stop himself from screaming.

 

* * *

 

It was nothing new that Omegas loved to be pampered and liked to lean back and let the Alpha’s do all the work, but Hux had never encountered one who refused to do anything at all; it wasn’t like Hux believed Kylo to be lying about Snoke’s orders, but he couldn’t really believe that the Supreme Leader might be so hell bent on the outdated concept of purity, that Ren wasn’t allowed to touch himself.

At least that was what he thought, until he put his mouth on Ren’s cunt and the man nearly broke his back with his foot. Hux blinked, confused, and licked a stripe from his clit to his opening, dipping his tongue into it and Ren _mewled_.

Hux looked up. Ren had his hands pressed against his face, chest heaving up and down and his foot was still pressing down on Hux’ back. Hux rolled his eyes. Ren was either extremely sensitive or had not been on the receiving end of oral sex in a while. Or maybe he was just being dramatic in typical Ren fashion. He urged Hux on with his foot, a desperate whine coming out from beneath his hands and Hux was nearly tempted to stop right there because Ren was behaving like a spoiled brat, but if he didn’t want to end up dead at the Supreme Leader’s hand for mistreating his Omega, there was one thing he had to do first.

He put his lips back on Ren’s clit, started sucking on it lightly while he pushed one finger inside him, planning on pushing a second one after it just to get Ren used to it. Instead, he found Ren tensing when the second finger breached him, whole body going tight around them, his foot getting back on the mattress.

Hux looked up to where Ren was looking at him, his face red, mouth wet and discomfort obvious on his face.

“Can you relax a bit?” he asked. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because Ren clenched his teeth.

“You’re done, just do it.”

“Ren, I can’t fit two fingers into you, how is it supposed to fit?” He knew that Ren apparently didn’t care, but Hux wasn’t keen on hurting Ren – in a way that was avoidable – and angering the Supreme Leader.

“That’s not my problem,” Ren murmured, and Hux forced himself not to roll his eyes. Ren was probably the only person in the entire galaxy who would sulk at being taken care of properly. It was unbelievable.

“Just try not to be so tense.”

“Then keep doing the other thing.” Hux thought he misheard for a second, but Ren had his head turned away and refused to look at him. Well then. He leaned back down and started sucking on Ren’s clit again, circling his opening with the second finger while the first one moved slowly in and out. He could hear Ren’s laboured breathing, his thighs started shaking when Hux was sure that Ren could take it this time he pushed the second finger in.

He felt Ren tense for a second, but then he relaxed.

“Well done,” he said, because Ren might be one of these Omegas who needed to be constantly praised.

“Shut up,” Ren pressed out.

Or maybe not.

Hux crooked his fingers, hoping to find his sweet spot and hummed against the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Ren’s whole body lifted off the mattress and Hux did it again. Ren would be more manageable after climaxing.

“Enough,” Ren said and pulled Hux mouth away with the force.

“It’ll be easier after an orgasm.” Hux wiped the wetness away from his mouth and Ren’s eyes focused on them, his red mouth hanging open.

“I am not your concern,” Ren snapped. “Your job is to fuck me, not to make me feel good.”

The thought, that if Ren wasn’t aware that these were one and the same, he should really re-think his sex-life, crossed his mind but he didn’t say it out loud. He was not going to criticize the Supreme Leader like that. Ren blushed even harder than before, embarrassment and anger warring on his face so he had apparently been in Hux’ mind. Wonderful.

“Your funeral,” he simply said and pulled his fingers out of Ren. He used the fluids on them to slick up his cock, regulating his breathing. He dared to look at Ren again, pale skin, swollen lips, wet eyes, the bite mark so visible between his neck and his shoulders that it brought Hux back to reality. He was here to do a job, not to admire Ren of all people.

He wrapped a hand around his cock and guided it to Ren’s opening. He didn’t dare to look him in the eyes and instead pushed it in, only to stop after a few seconds. Ren was unbearably tight.

“Relax,” he ordered him and Ren’s eyes flashed with anger again. He seemed determined to make this as unpleasant as possible for himself. Shaking his head Hux brought his thumb back on Ren’s clit again, rubbing it slowly, before Ren’s own fingers gripped his wrist.

“I told you to stop it.”

“And I told you to relax.” Even though Ren’s grip on his wrist was painful, Hux kept up a steady rhythm on his clit, slowly pushing his cock in, while Ren’s breath kept hitching, his body relaxing around Hux.

“Just lie back and let me do the work.” That was apparently what the Supreme Leader had wanted, so Ren shouldn’t have any problems with that.

“Sure,” Ren said, his tone bitter. The wetness around Hux’ cock and the way he kept biting his lips were betraying him, though.

 

* * *

 

Being fucked by Hux was the worst thing that had ever happened to Kylo.

Mostly because it felt like nothing he had ever felt before outside of a heat. He was on the brink of an orgasm, even with the uncomfortable weight of Hux’ cock inside him, the slight ache where it was too wide for him. But unlike when he was in heat, this time he was aware of what he was feeling and there was no excuse. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to be in pain, he needed it to ground himself to be anything else than the pathetic thing that nature forced him into.

Instead, he threw his head back and grabbed the blankets hard enough to have his knuckles turn white. Every push of Hux’ cock inside him, every rub of his thumb against Kylo’s clit left him wanting more. He had to remind himself that he had to keep his legs on the mattress, even though he wanted nothing else than to wrap them around Hux’ hip, draw him closer and keep him right there.

Kylo cried out when a sudden bolt of arousal went through him. He wanted that again, he needed it more than anything. When he looked at Hux he could see that the Alpha was smirking, a smug look on his face and Kylo hated him. He hated him for doing this to him, for making him feel this way. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this, to be so into this, when he already had an Alpha. He was starting to feel sick, but like every other emotion that went through him it was soon numbed by the desire that engulfed every part of his mind.

“Ren,” Hux suddenly said, slapping him lightly on the stomach. He had stopped moving. Kylo’s stomach clenched and he closed his mouth before a whine could slip out.

Hux looked down on him and Kylo looked back, not sure what the problem was.

And then he realised how tight his body was strained. He tried to relax his legs, his arms, his pelvis but he couldn’t.

“Ren, breathe.”

Kylo took a deep breath. As soon as he breathed out, his body started to relax and he did his best to remain calm and focused.

“That’s good.” Hux rubbed lazy circles into Kylo’s hipbone with his thumb and Kylo was happy that he started moving again at the same time. He could blame the noise that came out of his mouth and the warm feeling that went through him at the praise on that and not on the real reason.

To avoid this happening again, he tried to focus on the heavy weight of Hux’ cock in him, the way his balls slapped against Kylo’s cheeks with every thrust and the way his skin dragged against Kylo’s inner thighs. His thumb on his clit, rubbing whenever Hux was bottoming out.

It was disgusting. It was the worst thing that Kylo had ever felt and he never wanted to feel it again, he thought, just as his whole body seized up and he screamed with the force of his orgasm.

When he came back to himself, he was breathing heavily, staring at the ceiling. He felt dizzy and his throat was raw. Raising his head, he looked at Hux, who had stopped thumbing his clit and was fisting his own cock.

“What are you doing?” he asked, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded. Hux looked at him for a second, his green eyes nearly swallowed by his pupils and then looked away again. He nearly couldn’t hear the _“Fuck”_ that came out of his mouth, but then Hux was bracing himself against Kylo’s hip with one hand.

It was a weird sight, seeing Hux’ features go slack, the tension leaving his body. Kylo didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this. And it definitely wasn’t the General falling forward and his head dropping onto Kylo’s chest. He breathed against Kylo’s muscles, making him shudder. A few strains had escaped his otherwise perfect hair and Kylo buried his fingers in the sheet to fight the sudden desire to drive his fingers through the General’s hair.

It was then that he realised that something was missing. He propped himself up on his elbows and Hux groaned at him, when he has to lean back.

“What are you doing?” he demanded to know and Hux raised his eyebrows at him. His hand was still doing something around his cock and Kylo grabbed his throat with one hand. “Why didn’t you knot?”

If Hux ruined this, if Hux had made him feel all of this without making it possible for him to conceive, then they were gonna have a problem.

“Ren, you were barely able to take my cock. How was a knot going to fit?”

He blushed and let Hux go. Could Hux know? Did he have the clearance to look into Kylo’s files and see what the med-droid told him? He reached out for Hux mind, but found nothing but annoyance – _Hux had been perfectly comfortable where he had been before even though he wouldn’t like to admit that_ – pleasure – _Kylo pushed the image of himself looking sweaty and dishevelled aside_ – and concern – _had Hux done the right thing he knew that the Supreme Leader would kill him if he treated Ren too badly and Ren had been nearly unbearable tight but surely this had been the right way_. Kylo let go of him and laid back down.

Hux was only looking out for himself. Everything was like it was supposed to be.

 

When he watched Hux get dressed half an hour later, after not having spoken another word, he found himself lingering on the Alpha’s frame. It had been a completely different experience from what he had expected. Somehow the thought, that Hux was as afraid of his Alpha’s wrath as Kylo was, hadn’t occurred to him. It made him feel … better. Like he wasn’t alone in this. Like his Alpha and Hux weren’t playing some cosmic joke on him, punishing him for being what he was.

“Lord Ren,” Hux said when he had looped his belt around his tunic.

“General Hux,” Kylo answered. Hux nodded at him and left the room.

Kylo fell back against the sheets and pressed a hand against his eyes. He should probably make himself presentable and then try to reach for his Alpha over the holo-channel. He had just finished the thought, when he heard a noise coming from the screen. The only person who was allowed to contact him over the channel when he was in his room was Hux or his Alpha.

Kylo swallowed and reached for his pants and shirt and tugged them on. His legs ached and he felt sore when he slipped into them and walked over.

Sitting down, he tried to tame his hair as much as possible before accepting.

“Kylo Ren,” his mate said and Kylo forced himself to smile.

“Alpha,” he answered and bowed his head.

“You have just finished.”

“That is correct. I was about to contact you and give you an-“ He stopped talking when his Alpha raised his hand. In the next second he was bent over, whimpering under the pain and weight of someone breaking his mind open and sorting through it.

“I was going to tell you,” he said and the pain became unbearable for a moment.

“Why would I listen to your sugar coated version when I can just see it for myself?”

Kylo nodded and tried to focus on evening his breathing like he did while meditating. But every time he thought he had the pain under control, his Alpha would pull on something. He sorted through his mind like it was nothing, went from the visit to the med-bay, to them undressing, to Hux pressing his mouth on him and lingered on the way Kylo had let his leg rest on Hux’s back, to the act itself, Kylo’s own orgasm and the fact that Hux hadn’t knotted him.

“Hm…” his Alpha made and pulled back. Kylo dared to look up, saw the thoughtful look and swallowed.

“Well, he was certainly considerate, wasn’t he?”

“I think he was afraid.”

“Are you trying to defend him, Kylo Ren?”

“No, I just… No.”

He could hear tapping of fingernails on the table that held the screen. “About this thing with your muscles…” His Alpha trailed off and Kylo nodded.

“They said I should get myself used to it,” he explained and pain exploded behind his eyes again.

“You want to pleasure yourself?”

“No, I just thought it would be what you wanted.”

His Alpha laughed. “That’s why you’re not the head of this operation, my dear Kylo.” He sighed. “You do not have permission to touch yourself. If you really think you can’t bear it the med-droids can certainly help you.”

“The med-“ Kylo stopped himself from shouting at his Alpha and took a deep breathe. “I will consider it,” he said, clenching his fist under the table.

“Good. Report back when you know if it took or not.”

Kylo bowed his head again. “Of course.”

“Oh, and Kylo?” his Alpha said. “Next time… maybe compose yourself a little bit? Your responsiveness was embarrassing for both of us.”

Kylo nodded and watched as the transmission cut out. He took another laboured breath, his fingernails biting into the inside of his hands. He got up and made it as far as the bathroom sink before his legs gave out under him and he started sobbing uncontrollably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and remember, comments are always appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn and Poe get presented with an opportunity, Hux deals with some unwelcome problems and Kylo get's some fun out of laughing at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've realised that moving back in with my parents after 3 1/2 years of living alone might not have been the best thing for my psyche.

“So how is it training with the great Luke Skywalker?” Finn asked as soon as he had sat down. Rey looked horrible – tired, dirty with a cut on her face. She turned around on the screen, seemingly taking a look around the hut she was sitting in and making sure that said person wasn’t directly behind her. Finn wasn’t sure if someone like Luke Skywalker wasn’t able to hear them anyway, but Rey seemed to feel better afterwards.

“The training is amazing, I’m learning so many new things, about the Force, about the universe and all these things that never made sense to me before!” She grinned. “And he’s also teaching me to fight, which is weird because we’re just fighting with sticks and I can use my quarterstaff and he said that we might be able to get our hands on a saberstaff! Did you know those exist? I didn’t, but I’m really looking forward to working with one.”

“That’s amazing!” Finn said, infected by her excitement and she nodded along. Her grin became shaky after a second and she bit her lip. Finn frowned and asked: “But?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Rey, friends can talk.” It was still weird for him to realise that he really had friends that he belonged somewhere where people would actually care about him. He guessed that Rey had similar problems, so he had to make sure that she understood that she wasn’t alone.

“I think he doesn’t like me very much?” she said and sighed. “He’s not mean or anything but he never looks directly at me and he always looks so sad.”

“Maybe it’s because having a student reminds him of what Ren did?” he offered and Rey shook her head.

“But he only looks sad when I mention something about how much time I spent on Jakku, or that I sometimes still feel guilty for leaving because my parents could show up at any moment.”

“Still sounds like a Ren thing to me, to be honest.”

She sighed again and gave him a forced smile. “You’re probably right. Talking about Ren, how’s it going?”

Now it was Finn’s turn to sigh. “Not good. We tried accessing the Finalizer’s servers last night, but somehow… we’re not sure what’s going on but it seems like we either can’t encode it or they’re having some kind of data problem. And we can’t stay inside them long enough to actually find the information we’re looking for, because they might realise that we don’t belong there.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I feel like at this point only a miracle can help us.”

“What did I hear about a miracle?” Poe suddenly said and Finn’s head snapped to the side, where the Omega leaned against a panel.

“Hey Poe,” Rey said and Poe leaned forward to wave at Rey. At Finn’s surprised look, Rey explained: “We spent some time together when you were in a coma. Got to talk and all.”

“I heard all about your awesome rescue mission.”

“And I heard all about your lightsaber fight.”

Embarrassment coloured his cheeks and Finn groaned. Both Rey and Poe laughed and Poe clapped him on the back.

“I’m gonna leave you to it, come to me when you’re done, I might have found a solution.”

“Sure.”

Finn watched Poe leave and then turned back to Rey. She was grinning at him widely.

“What?”

“Nothing at all,” she said like she knew something that he didn’t know. “Does he know about Ren?” she changed the topic and Finn shook his head.

“He knows that we’re trying to break his bond, but not who he is.”

“Hm…” she said.

“Can I ask you something? Why now? I mean, if Ren chose to get himself bonded…”

“Sorry I gotta go,” Rey suddenly said and made an attempt to get up. “Master Luke is calling for me.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“I’ll talk to you later!”

The screen went see-through again and Finn looked at it. He had no idea what was going on.

He was still thinking about it when he sat down next to Poe, who was grinning like he had found the answer to all their problems. The answer had found them, though, through a very unlikely circumstance.

 

* * *

 

“Please tell me that you are joking,” Hux said when he had finished reading Asera’s report on the archives.

“I’m sorry, sir, this was something that no one thought about when it was decided to implement the archive’s data into ours.”

“Please explain to me again, what happened,” Hux ordered her, because this was something that was most certainly not his speciality and he didn’t really get it.

“Of course, sir. So you know that the empire worked with a different set of standards for the digital formats that were used to catalogue items and information. The First Order continued to use these standards, but cataloguers quickly realised that it wasn’t timely anymore and that new standards were needed to work with the new soft and hardware that they encountered.”

“So they decided to build a new set of rules for cataloguing and standards for a digital format.” That was as far as he understood it. It had never been intended for him to be an archivist, so he had never felt like he needed to have more than a basic understanding of how and what was going on. He knew how to find the information he needed. That had always been enough.

“Exactly, sir. Ten years ago it was officially decided to create more appropriate standards and the Steering Committee for Information Access was crated. They got a budget, they got the best cataloguers at their disposal and five years ago it was implemented in every electronic environment. Only a few older ships are still working with the old format but the Finalizer is only three years old and so it is working with the new format.”

“And it’s not possible to read the old data with our programs?”

She shook her head. “No, sir, it was decided that we wouldn’t start with that to make the transition swift and efficient.”

“So to be able to access these informations we would have to…?”

“We would have to send all the data to a place that’s specialising in this. The academy has a few cataloguers who are still working on this, but the shear amount of data in the archive would probably require ten to fifteen people to work for … two years.”

“Two years?”

“The archives have over ten billion data files.”

A nerve ticked under Hux’ brow. “Can we afford creating a whole unit for this and having them work non-stop to get it done in under six months?”

Asera’s eyes widened and she looked down at her data pad. “I… I don’t know, sir. I guess the biggest problem might be, that we have to find cataloguers who know both standards and are looking for a job. Credit-wise it might work.”

“Put an order in to create the unit and start preparing it, post an advertisement and mark it down as urgent. I’ll take a look at the budget and talk it through with accounting.”

“If I might offer an idea?” Asera asked and Hux looked at her. “Your sister oversaw the implementation of the old data. Maybe she could take the lead on this one?”

Hux wasn’t aware that Asera had worked with Brendala before this, but he was impressed by her intimate knowledge of his sister’s work. “Send her the advertisement, I will talk to her about it.”

“Of course, sir, you also have a meeting with Lieutenant-General Phasma this afternoon.”

He had forgotten that. “Of course.”

“Good, anything else, sir?”

“That would be it.”

She kept hovering next to him and Hux sighed. “What is it?”

“Lord Ren, sir. No one has seen him in the past two days.”

Ren was… sulking most likely. Hux had checked on him through the cameras once or twice to see if Hux had accidentally hurt him in the process but there was nothing wrong with him. He just kept furiously beating up training droids and was lying face down on his bed in his spare time.

“Ren is meditating. Matters of the Force, you understand.”

“Of course, sir,” Asera said and nodded. Then she saluted and was on her way.

But her words had made Hux anxious. Maybe he should take a look at Ren in person. He had been responsible for his well-being after all and he didn’t want the Supreme Leader to realise that Hux was responsible for some kind of efficiency drop in Ren. Well… not that Ren was usually a very efficient person.

Hux took one look at the bridge, gave Ithak a sign to take over for him and was on his way. It was best to check on Ren himself.

 

He found Ren in the gym, shirtless and barefoot jumping and flailing around – as far as Hux was concerned – trying to avoid the blaster shots the training droids were firing at him. Hux was pretty sure that Ren could have destroyed them with a wink of his little finger or even with a punch of the staff he was using to block them, but Ren just kept evading them.

Probably agility and speed training, he thought, not sure if those were even a thing. He had been glad when his mandatory physical training had been over, even if he had – of course – excelled at it.

He cleared his throat, but Ren either didn’t hear him or didn’t want to hear him – most likely the latter.

Hux cleared his throat again, just as Ren jumped onto the training droid and balanced himself on him. He had a kind of lethal grace to him, with his muscles working under his sweat covered skin and for a second Hux was reminded of the other day and Ren’s body under his. The droid crunched under Ren’s feet – or the Force, Hux wasn’t sure – and Hux pushed the thought away. This was neither the time nor the place.

“What do you want?” Ren asked and crouched down on the droid. It tried to shoot him, but with the angle that Ren was in, it wasn’t possible. Maybe they should consider this in the next update. It didn’t seem like a good idea to have droids that couldn’t shoot from all angles.

“I was expecting a report from you about the situation,” Hux answered, after some careful thinking. It was obviously not a good idea to mention that other people had noticed Ren’s absence and behaviour. He was a very prideful person and most likely wouldn’t react well.

“It is not your concern.” The metal from the droid broke under Ren and Hux frowned. There was really no reason for Ren to behave like this. He didn’t have to destroy it. But this was Ren after all.

“I have been given an order. I follow the orders I get and see them through until they’re completed.”

“Of course you do,” Ren murmured, and the droid gave out under him. Ren landed on the ground, his chest heaving up and down and Hux was transfixed by a drop of sweat that was running down his chest for a second before looking up.

“So?” he asked again, grabbing his wrist behind his back.

Ren rolled his eyes and walked over to the bench where his shirt and shoes were lying. He was only a few feet away from Hux and the sweat was only adding to his scent. Hux did the best to breathe through his mouth.

While he waited for Ren’s answers he tried his best to reign himself in again. He had never been this affected by Ren’s presence before and he couldn’t explain what was happening. It might be a hormonal or biological thing. But Hux was better than this. He was more than his instincts and by the time Ren had turned around to him again, tight shirt and shoes put on, Hux was ready to face him again.

“I haven’t been to med-bay yet,” Ren said, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You haven’t…” Hux repeated. He forced himself to not roll his eyes. Ren was – as usual – not able to do anything by himself. “Do you need me to hold your hand or what is your problem?”

“It does take some time for it to take, General, it doesn’t just happen within seconds,” Ren drawled and Hux snapped his mouth shut. He hadn’t thought about that, damn it. “But since you’re so eager to find out, I’ll allow you to join me.”

He rushed past Hux, before he could say anything else and Hux was left with his mouth hanging open, sputtering: “I’m not eager, I just want to do my job!” Ren had apparently found back to himself after his embarrassing behaviour during their sexual encounter. Hux wasn’t sure if he liked it much.

“If you say so!” Ren yelled back and Hux definitely wished that Ren would go back to being silent again.

 

* * *

 

Kylo didn’t care if Hux followed him or not, but it still filled him with glee, when he could hear Hux’ shiny boots behind him, trying to keep up with him. Kylo wasn’t angry at him – or at least not more than he usually was – he was angry at himself and at his Alpha, but antagonising Hux always made him feel better. And if there was one thing he really needed, it was feeling better because with what was ahead of him, Kylo was pretty sure that his mood would turn sour any second.

He turned around the corner to med-bay and barged into the room, not caring if someone was already in there. Overseeing the room, Kylo looked for the med-droid that was taking care of his data and found it hovering over a stormtrooper with a burn on her leg. The second Kylo had entered the room, the droid looked up.

“Lord Ren!” It said and looked from its patient to Kylo, clearly not sure if it should attend to Kylo immediately. Kylo was perfectly fine letting the droid figure it out itself.

By the time Hux scent appeared behind him again, the droid had stepped closer to Kylo and was gesturing with its arms to a closed off area.

“I will be with you immediately, Lord Ren. Let me just find your results.”

Rushing past everyone else in the med-bay, Kylo didn’t manage to close the door right after he went through so Hux slipped in with him. He kept his distance, though and hovered awkwardly next to the door while Kylo leaned against the bed that was usually reserved for an examination. Kylo crossed his arms in front of his chest. He felt sticky, the fabric of his shirt clinging to his body. He should probably have taken a shower beforehand, but Hux had a way of goading him into doing things a bit rashly.

Especially now.

Being here in the sterile environment made him aware of why he was here and suddenly Kylo felt every little bit of glee fall away from him. Suddenly the thought of annoying Hux didn’t make him grin and try to find new things because right now it wouldn’t make him feel better. It was funny how such a little thing like a simple location could fill him with so much dread.

Kylo looked at Hux, who had his hands behind his back and stared into nothingness. Reaching out for his mind Kylo could find annoyance at Kylo’s apparent lack of responsibility and a hope that it had taken this time. Hux didn’t want to have sex with him again – which … Kylo hadn’t expected that. It was his understanding that there was nothing that Alpha’s craved more than making an Omega submit to them. Especially one that they couldn’t stand. Hux’ instinct should be way stronger than his fear of Kylo’s Alpha. Or maybe Kylo had misjudged Hux and the Alpha had a better control over his own urges than Kylo thought – not that Kylo had a lot of good opinions on Alpha’s and their controls – Hux had surprised him a few days ago, too, after all.

Kylo drew back from Hux’ mind without the other man noticing and took a deep breathe. He needed to think of something else. Focusing on Hux now was really not something he should do. There were more important things after all.

But like Hux Kylo hoped that he was pregnant as well. He didn’t desire a child or a pregnancy, but he was aware that it was a lot better than disappointing his Alpha – again – and facing the consequences – again. If they didn’t manage to conceive this time the next one would surely be his heat and Kylo could only imagine how his Alpha would react if Kylo lacked even more self-discipline during it.

“Lord Ren!” The droid shuffled into the room, a data-pad in his hand. Kylo wasn’t sure if it was designed to show emotions, but if he wasn’t mistaken, there was definitely some kind of fear on its face.

He clenched his teeth. Not again. He gripped the bed he was leaning against.

“I have just taken a look at your results, Lord Ren, and I’m sorry to tell you that you’re still not pregnant. I propose to try during the first day of your heat.”

The bed crunched under his fingers and the only reason why he saw the unsurprised look on Hux’ face was because Hux opened his mouth. “Is there some kind of problem with him?”

Kylo’s head snapped around to Hux. “What-“

“Absolutely not, sir,” the droid reassured Hux and turned around to him like Hux had any right to be privy to private information concerning Kylo’s body and fertility. “His fertility is off the charts, sir, because he has never been on suppressions. Of course suppressions don’t derogate one’s chance to conceive, but studies show that Omegas who have never been on them, conceive faster.”

“Then why didn’t it take?”

“Maybe there’s something wrong with  _ you _ ,” Kylo snapped and Hux’ face went red.

“Excuse me?”

“That might be it!” the droid interrupted, oblivious to the tension in the room. “I can get a sample right here, if you want, sir.”

Hux looked from the droid to Kylo and back to the droid. Then he sighed and nodded. The rage in his eyes was so apparent that Kylo felt immediately better. He wasn’t even that afraid about having to talk to his Alpha about another failure. Maybe he could just blame it on Hux. The droid shuffled to the other side of the room, to get whatever it needed and Kylo locked eyes with Hux.

“I shall inform the Supreme Leader,” Kylo drawled and pushed himself away from the bed.

“Wait,” Hux said and stepped in Kylo’s way. His scent was strong and powerful but there was a fine hint of fear that made Kylo unbelievably giddy. “You’re not going to tell him that I might be the problem, right?”

Kylo faked being shocked. “You want me to lie to our leader?”

“Ren,” Hux gritted his teeth. “We don’t know yet if it was my fault.”

“That’s not my problem, is it?” Kylo rushed past him, ignoring Hux’ attempt at stopping him. When he threw a look over his shoulder, he could see that the only thing holding Hux back was the droid who had his whole equipment ready to go.

 

As soon as he was in his rooms, Kylo sat down at the console, hailing his Alpha through the comlink. He didn’t get an answer, which either meant that his Alpha didn’t want to talk to Kylo or was busy with someone else. Kylo wasn’t sure which was better, but he decided to leave a message.

His fingers hovered over the table where the keys were projected over. He wasn’t even sure why he was contemplating lying – or leaving certain informations out – when talking to his Alpha. He hesitated a second, sure that Hux wouldn’t do him the favour of leaving something like this out in his report and added the information.

> The result is negative again. Medical doesn’t think it’s me; has decided to test Hux.

There. That didn’t sound like he was trying to justify his failure, but just stating the fact. His Alpha didn’t like it when he wasn’t ready to accept punishment, after all.

He clicked send and leaned back.

Taking a deep breathe, he waited a few seconds to see if his Alpha was just ignoring him, but would read his message, but nothing happened, so he got up.

Not having to talk to his Alpha meant that his mood was still quite good. He thought about trying to meditate but he knew that it wouldn’t work with the possibility of receiving an answer only a few feet away. Maybe he could finish his agility training in the gym.

 

Kylo kicked the only intact training droid out of his way, before he let himself fall on his back. He had some minor burns on his arms and one on his legs where the droid had gotten him, but despite the pain he was still feeling rather cheerful. Maybe he could stay in the gym a little longer and just ignore everything else.

Or that was what he thought, until the doors opened and Phasma stomped in, clad in sweatpants and a tank top. She didn’t acknowledge him and pressed her fingers on the screen that would normally summon the training droids.

The one that Kylo had just kicked away was twitching and made an attempt to lift itself off the floor, before it fell down and stayed where it was.

Phasma turned around to him, her hands clenched up into tight fists. She was radiated stress and anger in waves and Kylo automatically sat up straighter. You could never know with Alphas. She might even try to attack him.

“Did you destroy them all,  _ sir _ ?” she pressed out between clenched teeth and Kylo nodded and shrugged. He felt her trying to calm herself down, before she did anything that she would regret – like attacking Kylo – and then she took a deep calming breath. She stayed by the panel while she calmed herself down and Kylo staid where he was until she turned around to him.

“Now would be the time to ask me what is wrong.”

Kylo blinked. He normally didn’t care about these social things, but from what he could feel from her Phasma seemed to want to talk about it. It might have been his mood that got him to agree to this ridiculous acceptance of social norms, he wasn’t sure.

“What is wrong”, he said, and realised later that he should probably make it sound like he was asking her. She didn’t seem to care and came closer. She sat down a few meters away from Kylo cross-legged, some of the tension leaving her body.

“You remember my sentencing?” Kylo nodded. “It has now been decided that I will be accompanied by an officer all the time because high command has lost trust in my ability to lead and train the stormtroopers efficiently.”

“That doesn’t seem like your reaction is appropriate.”

She gave him a look, like she was judging him. “Every decision I make will have to be signed off by this officer, not just the important ones.”

So they were practically replacing her, even though it had already been determined that she was loyal and had full trust in the capability of the First Order. It didn’t seem fair to Kylo, but he also knew that people like Phasma were more prone to being subjected to the harshness of military laws than him and the other Knights of Ren.

“I am sorry to hear that,” he said, hoping that this was the appropriate reaction she was looking for. When he reached out to her he could feel a bunch of emotions and while he realised that he had apparently said the right thing, he also felt unhappiness and … Kylo reeled back and Phasma’s eyes were wide open.

“I’m not a traitor!” she said. “I’m just … not happy with the situation.”

Kylo didn’t answer. The last time he had been in her head there had been no trace of traitorous thoughts. Anger, but also understanding of the way the First Order was treating her case. But apparently even Phasma had a limit and this limit had been reached when they had practically replaced her in anything but name.

“There’s a difference between thinking and acting,” she tried to explain and Kylo raised his eyebrows. He didn’t think that Phasma was truly unhappy enough with the current situation to sabotage them or desert and defect to the resistance, but it would most likely be good for her to be afraid, that he thought she was thinking about it.

“There might be,” Kylo answered and shrugged. She seemed like she wanted to say something else but Kylo got to his feet before she could.

“Do you still want to punch something?” he asked and Phasma nodded.

“Is there another droid lying around?”

Kylo shook his head and stretched his arms. Her eyes widened in shock and Phasma quickly got to her feet. “Don’t expect me to go easy on you, sir.”

Kylo dared himself to grin. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

* * *

 

“This is not going to work,” Finn said, a day after Poe had explained his plan to him and they had managed to receive very important information that could help them with … this.

“I know nothing about archiving or cataloguing or whatever it is called.”

Finn slid through another file of complex explanations and rules about the different way in which files of corporate bodies would be catalogued. He had never known that a government was technically also a corporate body, just like a company or a freaking conference.

“It’s not that hard,” Poe said while his eyebrows rose high above his eyes at the next file. “Probably.”

They both read the next article which described other similarities between something called the ICR and the SIA. Finn had never heard of so many unnecessary abbreviations and complications.

“Okay, so we need to know all of this…” Finn said and looked to two other folders that they hadn’t even opened yet. “And we also need to know the differences between the-“

“Data format?” Poe offered unsure.

“I think so. The difference between these two rule-things and the difference between the data format, because that’s gonna be the thing they want?”

“ _ ’Applicants must have elaborate knowledge of the Imperial Cataloguing Rules and the Standards for Information Access. They must also have worked with the Computer-Readable-Cataloguing format or the Coruscanti Core format.’ _ What the fuck is stuff?” Poe swore under his breath and Finn shook his head. Unnecessary complicated that was, what it was.

They were both ripped out of their thoughts when BB8 beeped and Poe sighed. “Seems like they’re desperate. They want to interview us as soon as possible.”

Finn looked at the files in front of them. “We can do this,” he said. “I mean what can go wrong?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borowed some cataloguing stuff from real life things. Let's hope that you all don't know where I got it from. ;) And don't worry, there's not gonna be a lot of this stuff in the future.
> 
> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/theeverknowing) for lots of ranting.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and thank you for your comments. They always make my day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything happens too early and no one knows how to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from the ashes* I'M ALIVE. I'm really sorry for the wait, this chapter was just really hard for me. I also started work this past month and it fucking sucks and then I spent the last week in Bonn, bc I had a job interview, so yeah. I do think I'll get the next chapter out on time.
> 
> Alternative description: Sexists, sexists everywhere~

Finn wasn’t sure if the week of training that Poe and he had gotten was enough to fool anyone into believing that they knew what they were doing, but Poe seemed to be confident, so Finn tried to believe in him.

All the workers had been put into quarters, two beds per room, one refresher shared between six people and a kitchen shared with ten people. It was, all things considered, not the worst lodging that Finn had ever had, especially since Poe and he had been put in a room together, which allowed them to put on the facial masks, as to not be recognised.

Finn was still pretty sure that the whole thing was one giant catastrophe waiting to happen, but since they would start working on the actual archive files today, at least their demise might come soon.

“Don’t look so sullen, Aalto,” Poe said next to him and Finn turned around to him. There was grey in Poe’s hair and he was sporting a beard, blue eyes and a completely different jawline. Finn knew that he didn’t look like himself either – they had gone for some kind of ‘edgy-rebel’ look with Finn, which meant that his hair was pink and additionally to the mask that gave him higher cheekbones, he had glittering tattoos all over his face and arms. He had gotten some strange looks in the first few days during the training until Finn had introduced himself to the group as Aalto Vantai from the Academy of Hosnian prime and everyone had just rolled his eyes at him and mumbled something about how they didn’t expect him to look any different. Finn was still not sure if that was a good thing, but he got that them thinking they could use his affiliation with the New Republic as leverage gave them something to focus on.

“Sorry, sir,” Finn said and Poe gave him a smile. They had explained earlier, that Poe had been one of Finn’s professors at the Academy and also his thesis advisor. They had been off-world for the attack on the Hosnian system, researching information and now Professor Thraken Mesoth had managed to get him and his favourite student into a good position. It was such a good story that Finn wasn’t sure he could have come up with it, but that was apparently what they had the direct channel to the Resistance for. There were people who actually specialised in spy work and General Organa was apparently really willing to risk their lives for this.

Finn just hoped that it paid off.

“Hi,” someone suddenly said and Finn’s head snapped around. He found himself across a Twi’lek woman, with purple skin. “you’re the one from Hosnian prime, aren’t you?” she asked and Finn found himself nodding.

“Aalto,” he introduced himself.

“Oshok'nusi,” she waved at Poe, who also introduced himself and Finn looked around the room for a second. It seemed like most of the cataloguers in the room were humans – since the First Order had a big preference for employing only humans. She must be really good at what she did, that the First Order decided to overlook it.

She stood out like a sore thumb which – Finn gathered – might be the reason why she decided to sit next to them. Their affiliation with the New Republic made them outsiders. Her not being a human did the same thing.

“You excited?” she asked and Finn shrugged.

“I’m not sure. It sounds like an interesting job, but the work load seems intense.” Twelve hours a day. It wasn’t like they weren’t getting paid for every hour, but Finn still couldn’t imagine working even one hour on this before falling asleep.

“Yeah, but just imagine all the knowledge that we’ll handle!”

“In the five minutes that it’ll take us to sight them to properly index then?” Poe supplied helpfully from behind Finn. That was actually exactly what Finn and Poe were hoping to achieve. Find exactly the right text and sight it without anyone noticing. And if someone else managed to index the files before them, they would have to sneak back into this room and look through the database after hours.

Oshok'nusi rolled her eyes at Poe’s statement. “You don’t appreciate the little things.”

Finn could hear Poe take a breath to start a discussion with her, but then the doors slid open and a bunch of – what looked like – military officers came in. They deposited themselves around the main computer, while the superior officer – a tall, thin, red headed Alpha with deep rings under her eyes – stepped behind the chair and looked them all up and down.

Finn’s first response was to get up and salute her, but no one else did, so he grabbed the armrests of his chair and waited for the next move.

“My name is Lieutenant-Colonel Brendala Hux,” she said and Finn froze. “I am the officer in command, during this project. While I will not work with you and only oversee your work, I have been trained in your craft as well. So I know what you are working on and you can be sure that I will not allow slacking off. We have six months to finish this work, let us not bring shame to the First Order.”

Everyone clapped and Finn turned around to Poe, who was giving him a look of pure terror. Poe had been right on the ship. He was really starting to hate this family. They were everywhere.

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren woke to blood running down his thighs for the second day in a row. Yesterday he had brushed it off as a fluke, being aware of how screwed up his cycle usually was, but now he couldn’t deny it anymore. He was early. Not terribly so, but still early.

Shifting around on the bed, he gritted his teeth when the pain in his lower abdomen became excruciating. The med droid had told him that his hips were making place for a knot, but Kylo was really not in the mood to deal with any of this right now.

He reached for his data pad blindly and crunched his eyes together when it lit up brightly. It was already 1300 and Kylo had about a hundred unread messages. Most of them were things that didn’t concern him, but had to be sent to him anyway, but Kylo was looking for a certain message and there…

Groaning Kylo let the data pad fall on his face. They still hadn’t recovered the holocron out of the non-virtual archive possessions. He raised the data pad again, scrolling through his messages and looking for one from his knights, but … no she hadn’t found anything either.

Throwing the data pad on the mattress of his bed where it bounced against the wall made him feel slightly better but not much.

How was it possible that they couldn’t find anything? How was Kylo supposed to train and learn when the one thing that was supposed to help him wasn’t discoverable?

Kylo was ready to pull the blankets up and go back to sleep when he heard the shrill noise of a call coming in. He let the data pad float towards him, ready to decline a call because he wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet, when he saw the name of his Alpha.

Today was truly a really bad day.

Kylo sat up, leaning against the headboard and accepted the call.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than lounge around in bed all day?” his Alpha asked, after he had thrown a long look at Kylo’s shirtless chest and his bed hair.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been feeling well.”

“How so?”

“My heat seems to be early.”

His Alpha leaned back and interlaced his fingers. “Is that so? Any reason for that?”

Raising his eyebrows in confusion, Kylo didn’t get what his Alpha was insinuating at first. Then his face turned red. “You know that my cycle is extremely unpredictable,” he defended himself. The problem with being a Force user was that Kylo couldn’t suppress his heats in any way. Even contraception was something that needed to be well thought out, because it messed with his hormones. Normal Omegas could just take their pills and shots and know exactly when their heats would come. Kylo had to guess. And he wasn’t good at that.

“Anyway,” his Alpha said. “I’ve been informed that your knights weren’t able to retrieve any information about the holocron yet.”

Kylo nodded.

“Which is regrettable, but predictable. They will do better. Now that this is out of the way we will talk about your upcoming heat.”

“Master?” Kylo asked him because there was really nothing to talk about. There was also nothing Kylo wanted to talk about. His Alpha raised his eyebrows and Kylo realised his mistake belatedly.

“Alpha, I’m sorry.”

His Alpha made a non-committal noise and Kylo felt a cold shudder run down his back.

“Are you looking forward to it?” his Alpha asked, the scarred lips pulled into a sneer.

“Am I looking forward to my heat?”

“No, Kylo,” there was a bite to his Alpha’s tone that Kylo hadn’t heard in a long time and he realised that he was saying all the wrong things today. “I was asking if you were looking forward to fulfilling my orders, and doing what’s your purpose in life. Why would I think that you would look forward to spending your heat with General Hux?”

Because that’s what it had sounded like. And his Alpha had done it deliberately so that he could scold Kylo for something that he hadn’t even done. Kylo wished he could speak out against his Alpha, but he couldn’t. Not on topics like this.

“Why are you doing this?” he tried to talk around it. “Why are you behavi-“ His throat clamped down. He couldn’t question his Alpha’s intentions or decisions. Not on things that were part of their relationship.

“I’m tired of this, child, you’re allowed to speak your mind.”

The order made him feel like a chain had been lifted from his mind and he could finally think freely. “Why are you behaving like I chose this? You were the one who made me do this. I don’t want to be pregnant or in heat or let anyone touch me. And if this is some kind of ploy to see how faithful I am to you, Alpha, then Hux was the worst choice you could have made, because I resent him and I’m disgusted by him-“

His Alpha raised his hand, a smile on his face. “My, my, how long have you wanted to say this?”

Kylo shrugged and kept his mouth closed. There was so much more he wanted to say, so much more he wanted to ask, but he hadn’t been allowed to speak so freely since they had bonded and his Alpha had been tired of his complaints.

“Anyway… I am not questioning your faithfulness to me, I’m merely concerned for your reaction to the General. You did quite enjoy yourself, after all, and even outside of a heat.”

“My body did, not my mind.”

“You know what I think about this nonsense, Kylo, if your body wants it, then something deep inside your mind craved it even more.”

Of course Kylo knew.

 

_“Please let go of me!” the child screamed. Its arms flailed around, trying to break free, but it wasn’t strong enough._

_“Nothing of that,” the Alpha spat and pushed the child further down._

_“I don’t want it!”_

_“Are you sure, child? Your body tells me something else.”_

 

“Nothing of that,” his Alpha suddenly said, and the memory disappeared. Kylo looked back at his data pad where his Alpha was looking at him, like he disappointed him. Kylo fought the immediate need to apologise. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

His Alpha scoffed and Kylo wanted to be angry at him, he wanted to tell him all of the things that he thought were wrong about them, everything that his Alpha had promised him all those years ago and all those promises he had broken. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t be angry at him, now that he was here in front of him.

“Why do I have to get pregnant at all?” he asked, as long as he still could.

“We talked about this. You need to fulfil your purpose. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”

“Not like this,” Kylo hesitated, but ultimately continued. “I told you that … back then and you told me that I wouldn’t have to be subjected to my biology if I didn’t want to. You promised.”

He dared to look up and there it was again. The judging look that made his throat close up.

When his Alpha spoke again, his voice was soothing and sweet. “But we both know that you tend not to make the best decisions, Kylo. That’s what you have me for. And we both know that you deep down, you want it.”

“No! I don-“

“Enough.” Kylo stopped talking. “I think I’m done with this. You will not question me on the decisions I make for you, is that understood?”

Kylo nodded, the need to obey stronger than ever. “Yes, Alpha.”

“Good. We’ll speak again.”

And with that the call went out.

Kylo looked at it for a second, numbness fleeting from his mind and bringing forth the anger he hadn’t been allowed to feel. He threw the data pad against the wall and screamed.

 

* * *

 

Hux was ripped out of some much needed sleep by the constant ringing of his doorbell. He raised his head from the table, where he had started to catch up on messages this morning. He threw a look at the chrono and realised that it was already bordering on late afternoon. He was only due for the night shift on the bridge so there was no reason why someone should wake him from his unwanted and untimely nap.

He looked at the footage of the person in front of his door and found Mitaka to his surprise. He opened the door and skimmed through the new messages on his data pad. There were about ten from Mitaka, a few from Asera and one from Ithak – and funny enough one from Snoke with the subject “Kylo Ren medical results” that seemed to be forwarded from medical. Hux marked it as too read soon and slapped himself on the cheeks to wake up. He hadn’t gotten a message from Snoke concerning his … order since his medical results had come back – everything fine, he was as healthy as he could be and there was nothing he should be worried about, so it was definitely not his fault, that Ren wasn’t pregnant yet – and he couldn’t even fathom what was wrong now. He just hoped that it was bad enough to call the whole thing off.

“Sir!” Mitaka said as soon as he came, his heels clicking together.

“At ease. What’s wrong?” With so many messages, there just had to be some kind of catastrophe.

“Sir, Colonel Tarkin’s ship is about to land.”

“What?!” Hux got up immediately, fighting dizziness from lack of sleep and too much caf and opened the security cameras in the hangar bay.

“My invitation was clear. He is two days early.”

Mitaka nodded. “We have informed him. He told us that he doesn’t get to see you this often so he would like to extend his stay for two more days.”

No, no, no, this was the worst thing that could happen. Hux wouldn’t be able to spend more than one day in the company of Colonel Wilhuff Tarkin II without killing him himself, which was precisely what he was trying to prevent.

“Sir, should we tell him to come back later?”

Hux gave Mitaka a long look.

Obviously uncomfortable, Mitaka seemed at loss for words.

“Did you send an envoy to welcome him?” Hux asked and ran his fingers through his hair. He needed a shower, or more promenade and caf. Lots of caf.

“Asera and Captain Phasma are welcoming him. She said they would show him to his room to rest and then he could join us on the bridge or get a tour.”

Hux nodded. At least not everything had fallen apart without him here.

“Good. I will join you there shortly.” He sighed. “And inform Colonel Tarkin that he is welcome to join me for dinner later.”

 

Colonel Tarkin had definitely not been welcome to join him for dinner.

“You know,” he said, which was a very bad habit of his, that Hux had forgotten about until this very minute. “I don’t get all this talk about devaluing our old traditions. There was nothing wrong with clones.” Hux grabbed his fork a bit tighter. “And there is definitely nothing wrong with showing an Omega where their place is, you know?”

Hux smiled politely while he took another bite of his food. There were a lot of things that Hux knew about Tarkin: mid-fifties, never made it as far in life as his grandfather, loved to compensate by being overly aggressive and loved to hear himself talk. Especially about things he didn’t understand anything about.

“It’s a new era,” Hux said and Tarkin gave him a look. Tarkin loved to give looks.

“Breandan.”

Hux hated him.

“You and your siblings have thankfully been raised the right way – even though I do have to admit that Bredi is getting a bit deviant lately, but I’m dealing with it.”

Hux was going to kill him.

“But there is nothing wrong with valuing what our parents and grandparents did. It’s much more costly to kidnap kids than to clone them, isn’t it?”

“It’s not, actually. Cloning is a very expensive process. It’s much more cost-efficient, which is why we’re doing it.”

Tarkin ignored him, but not before giving him a look that told him that he believed that Hux didn’t know anything.

“You know, and there is nothing wrong with putting the Omegas where they belong. We all know that there are much more efficient Betas and Alphas who could take their places.”

“The Omegas on this ship are all perfectly qualified members and we shouldn’t think less of them just because of their designations.”

Tarkin gave him a long look. His eyes were some weird colour of light blue and with his grey hair he seemed completely colourless. The sneer on his face showed exactly what he thought of Hux’ opinion though.

“Breandan, don’t be like that. There’s nothing wrong with being a little bit politically incorrect at times.” He winked like they were sharing in on some big secret. “I get that the Supreme Leader is a little bit … less harsh in his rules than the Emperor was, but just because he likes to let his pet roam free doesn’t mean that every Alpha has to follow his example and make a fool of themselves.”

Hux blinked. There was criticism on First Order protocol because of some bigoted, narrow minded view and then there was openly insulting the Supreme Leader.

“Are you aware that the Supreme Leader and Kylo Ren are both Force users?” Hux asked him and Tarkin rolled his eyes.

“Like Lord Vader, I’ve heard. I don’t deny that the Supreme Leader isn’t a strong and fearsome sith or whatever they are called, but let’s be real, Kylo Ren? He’s no one, he’s only important because there is someone who favours him and his abilities? They are probably exaggerated. Omegas aren’t just made to be fighters. They’re kind and gentle souls who need a firm hand to keep on the right path.”

Hux blinked again. He didn’t even know what to say to this. Part of him didn’t want to start this discussion, but part of him also felt like he needed to defend Ren. He agreed that Ren was where he was only because of the Supreme Leader but no one could deny that he wasn’t a strong and brutal fighter who made a fearsome ally, when he wasn’t out to destroy everything they built. But Tarkin didn’t seem to mind his silence, because he just kept on talking.

“Just like your brother, you know? Bredi had the audacity to tell me he didn’t want any more pubs after this one, so I had to set him right, you know?”

“Oh?” Hux croaked out and tried to repress the image of the battered and bruised face of his little brother.

“You know, put the Omega where it belongs, at the feet of its Alpha, being glad for every bit of attention it gets.”

Hux smiled at him and realised the following thing. He couldn’t wait for Ren’s heat to hit, to have him be volatile enough to kill Tarkin. He needed it done as soon as possible.

 

“Ren!” Hux said – or maybe he yelled, he wasn’t so sure to be honest, but it was a very dignified yell – as he stepped into the gym where the security camera had showed him Ren was training again. Because Ren needed to train. A lot. But right now he needed Ren because if he had thought that Tarkin had been horrible during dinner last night, he hadn’t even witnessed the full extent of the other Alpha’s opinions. And there were a lot of them; his criticism of the Finalizer, the stormtrooper program, Ithak who he deemed too old to be Hux’ second in command and Asera who was too pretty to be his personal assistant and oh had he mentioned his failure at Starkiller?

Hux was officially done. He was ready to murder Tarkin himself, political scandal be damned. But first he could maybe turn Ren in the general direction of Tarkin, to kill him for saying something sexist about him.

The first thing Hux realised was that Phasma was also in the gym and she was… Ren was…

Ren was already in heat. Not full yet, but… the name escaped Hux, but he was on that day during preheat and actual heat where he smelled amazing and every Alpha in his general vicinity would fight to the death to claim him. Ren was on his back, his legs spread wide, with one foot against a training droid and the other leg bent beg by Phasma.

“What are you doing?” he asked them, because none of them had acknowledged his existence yet.

“Resetting a joint,” Phasma answered and bore down on Ren’s leg. A horrible cracking noise echoed through the room and Ren shouted.

Phasma moved his leg up and down a bit while Ren continued to breathe heavily. “Next time you probably shouldn’t attempt stretching when you have cramps.”

“It’s supposed to help,” Ren muttered and got up from his place on the floor, as Phasma stepped back. She cleared her throat and looked away from Ren, obviously breathing through her mouth.

“Do you mind if we cut our training session short, sir?” she asked and Ren looked at her surprised, like he wasn’t aware what kind of reaction he had to the Alpha’s around him. Hux was ready to attack Phasma of all people and he wasn’t even interested.

“Not at all,” Ren answered and Phasma gave Hux a nod before she hurried out of the room. The presence of two Alphas in the same vicinity alone must have increased Ren’s scent because Hux found it really hard to concentrate. It was too early for this.

“Why haven’t you informed me, that your heat arrived sooner than planned?” he demanded to know. If Ren was already on the break day, then his heat was tomorrow and Hux had not planned ahead for this.

“You’ve been informed.”

“No I haven’t-“ Hux stopped. The message from Snoke that had originally been from medical. Hux still hadn’t read it because Tarkin had demanded all of his attention. Another thing that Hux would blame him for later.

“Fine. Tell me when you need me.”

Ren nodded and seemed to think that was it, but Hux wasn’t done yet.

“Have you been informed of our guest?” he asked Ren, who was apparently doing something like stretching, to see if his leg had been properly reset.

“Colonel Wilhuff Tarkin II?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t he your brother in law?”

“That is correct.”

“Hm,” Ren made and went back to whatever he was doing. The one time that he was apparently unwilling to read Hux’ mind, like Hux knew he did all the time, and it had to be now.

“Listen, Ren,” Hux started, but was suddenly interrupted by the gym doors opening again.

“Breandan! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Tarkin yelled and Hux clenched his fists. He hated him so much.

“Have you been sneaking off to get yourself a nice piece of ass?” Tarkin laughed and Ren looked up from where he was still doing stretching. Tarkin’s nostrils flared, as he recognised Ren’s biological status.

Hux didn’t answer, but hoped that Ren would get offended enough to end Tarkin. It had never been hard to get him to do that before.

Tarkin studied Ren’s face for a while and clicked his tongue. “You got yourself a nice one, Breandan. A bit tall for my taste and it’s a shame about the face, but he looks like he’s begging to choke on your knot.”

Hux stared. Ren stared. Tarkin grinned. And then Ren said:

“What?” His tone was dangerous and Hux nearly felt bad for him.

“Darling, I wasn’t talking to you.” Tarkin laughed and winked at Hux. Ren’s face snapped over to him and for a second Hux was sure that Ren would blame _him_ for this. But instead Ren made a step towards Tarkin.

“Is that so?” he said and eyed him up from head to toe. Tarkin smiled at Ren and Hux had to stop breathing for a moment because of the pheromones he was emitting. An Alpha trying to show an Omega who was the strongest and most virile potential candidate around here.

And to Hux’ horror, Ren smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom trash.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and remember, comments are always appreciated. :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which important family matters are adressed and resolved and Kylo finally goes into heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what I said last time, but I have a good excuse: Remember the job I talked about last chapter (thanks for everyone who wished me luck)? I got it! And then I had to find a flat and move within 1 1/2 weeks and now I'm without internet and can only post this because I'm visiting my best friend. ;)

Alphas were a joke. Kylo discovered it again and again, with each new Alpha he met, but when Tarkin’s scent - _old, compensating, powerless_ \- hit his nose he actually wanted to laugh. He considered him, of course he did, because his brain thought it was an amazing idea to pit the people in his general vicinity against each other, to find the one that could give him the healthiest pubs, but Tarkin didn’t even make the upper half of the list. Kylo was pretty sure that he would put Private Thanisson who was a freaking Omega above Tarkin, because everything about the Alpha screamed issues based on fertility – or maybe that was just what Kylo was able to see with the Force, during his heat he could never quite tell.

But still he smiled at Tarkin, letting him think that his words had been taken as a compliment. Tarkin actually reached out, like Kylo was just a little Omega that he could touch and take for a test drive and as soon as Tarkin’s thumb dug into the flesh of Kylo’s bottom lip, he saw red. Without thinking about it, he pushed his hand forward and drove it against Tarkin’s throat.

The Alpha sputtered, reached for his neck and fell to his knees while Kylo made a step back and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He watched as Tarkin landed on his face, his breathing ragged.

Hux rushed past him, to Tarkin’s side and turned him over. He was still breathing, but he wouldn’t be for much longer.

“What is wrong with you?” Hux demanded to know and clenched his fingers.

“He insulted me.”

Hux looked at him, like he always did when Kylo destroyed his silly equipment, but there was something in his eyes… Kylo reached out to him.

_Thank you, I needed him to die._

Kylo gritted his teeth. He had killed Tarkin because he wanted to, not because Hux had wanted it.

_I didn’t do it for you._

_Nevertheless. A thank you is in order._

Kylo turned around and huffed. Feeling used, he ignored Hux’ fake attempts at saving Tarkin’s life and his yells for help and left the room.

 

**Incoming message**

I saw the footage. Why were you outside?

**Outgoing message**

I still have a day left. I was training. He came to me. He insulted me.

**Incoming message**

That is no excuse. I’m disappointed in you.

 

Kylo threw the new data pad against the wall where it shattered just like the last one and let out a shaky breath. His eyes stung and he felt tears welling up. Stupid heat always had to make him overemotional and calmer at the same time – which meant that it was harder for him to be angry and very easy to be sad.

He took another deep breathe and let his head fall on the console he was sitting on.

When he raised his head the console was wet. Kylo reached up to feel if he was crying without noticing it, but it was his forehead that was sweaty. The console was even colder under his touch, while his body started to heat up.

Maybe his Alpha had been right. Maybe he hadn’t belonged outside. Maybe he hadn’t been supposed to be in close proximity of another Alpha. But that had been Hux fault, he was sure. He had wanted him to kill Tarkin, so he had led Tarkin there.

Kylo didn’t get why. Politically, it was a stupid move, especially since Tarkin had been Hux brother in law and sure, he remembered that conversation with Hux about only caring about the people he cared about, but he couldn’t imagine that someone like Hux would go so far, just because his brother in law adhered to the First Order’s opinion on bonds.

The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. The Hux siblings had to be really close, otherwise it would make absolutely no sense. Murdering the Alpha of a family member because they weren’t treating them the way they were supposed to treat them…

Something dribbled on the console and this time he knew it were tears.

He didn’t understand, but at the same time he was so envious of Hux’ little brother. To have someone who cared about you enough that they would turn to bodily harm and murder was … it was more than Kylo had ever gotten in his life and he suddenly realised that he craved it with every ounce of his being.

He let out a shaky breath and swallowed, trying to compose himself. Self-pity wouldn’t help him and it wouldn’t make his Alpha change his mind. Kylo could only show him that he was deserving of the fairness that he hoped was somewhere inside him and that he could be treated like any other person, without having to be subjugated to his designation.

 

* * *

 

Hux finished the report of the incident and massaged the shell of his ear. It was still ringing from the loud yelling of one the First Orders High Command members, who thought he had enough authority to make Hux responsible for this. Hux had calmly referred him to the Supreme Leader. He was the one who had been insulted by Tarkin through proxy and his Omega had only protected what was his. It was the only thing that had actually gone through the angry Alpha and Hux had ended the call as soon as that was clear.

Now he pressed call again and waited. Brendala picked up within seconds.

“Brean, I don’t have time, what-“

He shushed her when Bredi picked up, exhausted and thin, looking like he was already dead, his red hair long and lifeless. There were children yelling in the background.

“Can you go somewhere secluded?” Hux asked his younger brother and Bredi huffed, but did what he was asked. Brendala looked at him suspiciously.

“There, what is it?” The sound of a door closing punctuated Bredi’s question and Hux tried his best to look regretful. Brendala started laughing immediately.

“I have to inform you, that there was an accident today, concerning your mate.”

“Oh, you didn’t…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Hux started, and gave Brendala a look. She stopped laughing, but couldn’t stop grinning. “You know that he was visiting the Finalizer these last few days?”

Bredi nodded.

“There he ran into the Master of the Knights of Ren. He’s a bonded Omega and will go into heat soon. Your mate thought it would be a good idea to come onto him, make a few offensive remarks and touch him. It wasn’t well received and in return he received a punch to his throat.”

“Are you telling me his larynx broke and he won’t be able to order me around for the next few months?” Bredi sounded giddy at that thought and that this could make him so happy, spoke about how much Bredi suffered in that relationship. Or had suffered.

“I’m telling you that his windpipe was crushed. Of course I did my best to keep him alive, but he died shortly after the medics arrived.”

Bredi’s face went slack. He swallowed and the corners of his mouth turned up, transforming his whole face. He tried looking solemn again, but the grin just wouldn’t go away.

Hux shared a look with Brendala, who mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to him. Hux nodded.

“I am very sad to hear that,” Bredi finally said, a grin still on his face.

“I know, I’ll carry the guilt around me forever.”

Even Hux had to grin at that and they shared a few moments of just grinning at each other, until Brendala said. “Wait… Kylo Ren is an Omega?”

Hux nodded. “Yes, bonded to the Supreme Leader.”

“Didn’t see that coming.”

“Will he get into trouble for that?” Bredi asked and Hux opened his mouth, before he closed it again.

“I’m not sure, honestly, but I don’t think so.”

“Good, I don’t want him to suffer for … helping me like this.”

That was so typical of Bredi, always trying to protect everyone, always trying to get everyone out alive.

Hux looked down when a message from his comm appeared at the edge of his screen.

 

**Incoming message**

Soon-ish.

 

Hux sighed. “Duty calls. We’ll talk again soon.” There would be a lot of talk about where Bredi would live, how much money he would get and what would happen to his children and Hux was sure that the Tarkin family would do their best to leave him with nothing. But Hux would make sure that his brother was taken care of.

“Goodbye, Brean, take care.”

“Bye, Brean, love you.”

“Love you too, Bredi.”

He ended the call and leaned back. Talking to Bredi always made him emotional because he felt like he needed to care for him, because his father had never done that. Even now when he was bonded and had more children than Hux could count. Whenever his father noticed it, he reminded Hux that he wouldn’t feel like this, if he found himself a mate of his own, whom he could look after, but Hux had neither the desire nor any prospects. Every mate he could chose would only be after his rank, and anyone of similar rank who could benefit the First Order was either a member of the Republic or already bonded. There was just no upside to having a mate, that couldn’t be found through something else.

He pushed the thought aside and started writing orders, notifying Ithak and Asera of his absence. When he got ready to leave, over an hour had passed since he got Ren’s message. He looked around in his room and reasoned that he wouldn’t need any clothes, because he didn’t expect to be wearing any. He did take his toothbrush and a comb along and realised that Ren probably didn’t think to take care of food and water, so he went back to the control panel and ordered three days’ worth of breakfast, dinner and lunch and a lot of water to be delivered to Ren’s room by the time he arrived there.

He checked his room and decided that he might need a few clothes after all, so he threw two pairs of underwear and a comfortable shirt and pants – that were usually for exercise, but Hux just used them to sleep in - in a duffle bag and went out.

He arrived at Ren’s room only a few seconds before the food and took it from the droid – who apparently thought that it had to deliver it to Ren personally - reminding it that it really didn’t want to disturb Ren.

The water and food was a lot heavier than he expected them to be, so he just set them down in Ren’s living room. When he unbent, he saw that Ren was leaning in the doorway. He was sweating and his eyes seemed red. He kept looking down on the package and finally asked: “Did you bring me food?”

“I didn’t think you had planned for this.”

Ren started crying.

Hux mouth opened to apologise for being rude – not that he hadn’t said worse things to Ren, but it seemed like the old stereotype of Omegas being overemotional during their heat was true after all and somehow Hux found himself feeling like was responsible for Ren's emotional status as much as his physical – but Ren was already composing himself again.

“No one has ever brought me food,” he explained, clearly uncomfortable. He still seemed to swallow every time he looked at it and Hux couldn’t understand this.

“But you have had heats before.” If a couple was bonded, it was usually the Alpha who brought the food, since the Omega already had to deal with other things. The Supreme Leader was most likely too busy for things like that, but Hux wondered why Ren would choose a mate who didn’t even fed him. As far as he was aware, it was an important part of courting even for a couple. A call-back to the old times where providing the food had been the Alpha’s job while the Omegas tended to their children.

“And I didn’t get food during them,” Ren said, seemingly nonchalant, but his earlier emotional response alone made Hux feel like it meant something for Ren.

“Well, you have some now.” He just hoped that the Supreme Leader wouldn’t take it as an insult. Hux had assumed that Ren didn’t have any because he wasn’t thinking about things like that and because it wasn’t his job, but if they didn’t usually do that as part of their heat ritual, then this might offend him.

“You think too much,” Ren suddenly said right in front of him and Hux was torn between telling him to get out of his head and concentrating on breathing because his scent had significantly changed in the last few hours.

Seeming to pick up on the reaction his pheromones had on Hux, Ren said: “Let’s just get this over with.”

Hux nodded and bent down to take two bottled of water with them, just in case the first few rounds would take them too long.

Ren’ clenched his hands at the sight, but managed to keep calm.

“Are you there yet?” Hux asked because while he felt the need to sleep with Ren, it wasn’t like it was supposed to be. It wasn’t overwhelming.

Ren shook his head. “Not exactly. It’s there, but it’ll take about half an hour before it tips over. I think.”

Hux nodded and watched as Ren laid down in his bed. He sat down gingerly, and was just about to get his data pad out to get some work done, if they didn’t need to start immediately when Ren propped himself up on his elbow.

“Why did he have to die?”

Hux sighed, knowing what Ren meant. “Because I don’t take kindly to my family members being hurt, not even by their mates. It’s like…” he trailed off because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to bring this up, but then decided that he wasn’t here to coddle Ren. “If someone was treating you wrong, your family would probably step in and stop them. Under normal circumstances.” He had never been informed what exactly had happened between Ren and his parents, even though the rumours about the disagreement he had with his uncle were legendary.

“Hmh,” Ren made and pressed his lips together. The reminder about his family was obviously something he hadn’t wanted, but Hux really didn’t care.

“I’d blow up the whole galaxy if it meant saving those whom I care about.”

Ren raised his eyebrows and gave him a meaningful look.

“Firing on Hosnian Prime isn’t the same, Ren, that was a calculated decision.” Saving his family if it was needed, wouldn’t be.

Ren snorted and Hux nearly wasn’t sure what kind of noise that was, because he had never heard Ren express any kind of positive emotion, that wasn’t glee at Hux’ failures.

“Don’t you have people you’d do anything for?”

Ren seemed to think for a moment, before shaking his head. Hux decided not to comment on it because he didn’t want to remind Ren that technically the Supreme Leader should be on his list. It was probably some kind of dark side nonsense that he wouldn’t get anyway.

When Ren next shifted on the bed, he rubbed his thighs against each other and swallowed.

As soon as Hux breathed through his nose, he could smell it. Ren was in heat.

“How do you want to do this?” he asked. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting Ren to answer.

“Like last time,” Ren croaked, still coherent.

He also wasn’t sure if Ren would be able to keep his careful distance while he was in heat.

Ren slid to the edge of the bed, next to Hux and fumbled with the cord of his sweatpants, his hands shaking. Taking pity on him, Hux swashed his hands away and untied it.

“There,” he said and looked up. Ren’s eyes were even darker than usual, his lips spit-wet and open. He looked fuckable, worst of all, he looked kissable and Hux reigned himself in, and took his hands away, before stepping back and taking his own clothes off. He folded them neatly on a sideboard. Wearing more than Ren, it took him longer to undress and when he turned around Ren was already lying on the bed, same position as last time.

Hux climbed on it and nudged Ren’s legs apart. Up this close he could see how wet Ren already was and his scent hit him with a ferocity that Hux hadn’t expected. His half-hard cock did its best to get him to completely hard in record time without being touched. His hand felt cold against Ren’s skin and Ren’s breath hitched when Hux parted his folds with two fingers. He was wetter than before, slick having taken over his natural wetness, but he remembered the last time and wasn’t sure if Ren could just take a knot like that. When he pushed one finger in, Ren moaned and the second went in just as easy.

“Don’t-“ Ren said and Hux looked up to him. He was biting his lip, grabbing the sheet so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Ren, we already had the talk about injuring you.”

“I don’t care about the pain, just don’t do it like last time.”

Hux shook his head. He’d never had someone turn away oral sex – but he also didn’t make a habit out of fucking people he didn’t like – but the way Ren looked… Hux crooked his fingers slightly and Ren moaned again, before shaking his head. He was enjoying this, but he was- Suddenly Hux understood. Ren had enjoyed himself too much last time. Either he or the Supreme Leader had decided that this wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

Fear crept through him. Maybe he had overstepped, maybe he should have risked injuring Ren, maybe-

“Are you going to freak out or fuck me?” Ren snarled and actually kicked Hux with his foot.

“Patience,” he said and pulled his fingers out, before parting Ren’s legs wider and taking his cock in his hand. He nudged it against Ren’s cunt, and pushed it. Ren clenched around him immediately and Hux sighed.

“Ren.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

But he did relax a bit and Hux managed to push further inside. When his balls were brought against Ren’s cheeks, he took a moment to steady himself. Ren was hot and wet around him, tight and still trying to clench down every few seconds. Ren himself was looking at the ceiling, open mouthed. His hands were shaking, his whole body seemed to shake. His heat had only started, but Hux was sure that it wouldn’t take him long to be completely submerged in it.

“Are you waiting for an invitation or what?” Well, at least Ren kept his charming personality.

He bottomed out and pushed in again and Ren’s thighs tightened around him, trying to keep him in. Hux pushed them aside and started moving again, setting a pace that was neither fast nor brutal, which he guessed was the best thing for as long as Ren wasn’t fully gone.

What he didn’t count on was … Ren. He had thought Ren would behave similar to their second encounter – or even to their first where he hadn’t reacted at all – but now it was faster, slower, deeper, faster, faster.

When Ren complained “You got the wrong angle!” Hux leaned back on his legs and pulled his cock out of Ren’s cunt.

Ren propped himself up on his elbows, immediately, kicking Hux in hip with his legs.

“Why did you pull out, can’t you do something as simple as this?”

“You’re not making it simple. You want to do it your way? You can do it yourself.” He had never met anyone who was so fussy during sex. He wasn’t sure if it was just Ren during a heat or Ren with his filter off, but he had better things to do, then have to listen to him complain.

He patted his legs and Ren stared at him. “No, we can’t.”

Hux just looked at him and raised one eyebrow. When Ren sat up, he himself went down into a sitting position, legs crossed.

Ren snarled at him, his heat addled brain obviously started to make decisions that he wouldn’t agree with under normal circumstances, as he crawled towards him and climbed in his lap. “How do I-“

Hux guided his knees to either side of Hux hips and into the right position. Hux hissed, when Ren grabbed his cock to guide it into himself and sink down on it.

They both moaned and like this Hux was able to see Ren’s reaction. His mouth opened and a noise that he hadn’t heard before came out of it.

“And now just up and down,” Hux instructed in a mocking voice. It was unbelievable that Ren behaved like he didn’t know what he was doing, as if this was something new for him. But this was Ren, and Ren enjoyed making his life as hard as possible.

Or at least that was what he thought until Ren lifted himself too far up, and let Hux’ cock slip out of his cunt again.

“Wait.” Fisting his cock he guided Ren down again.

Ren stayed there for a second, looking at him with a look of pure murder in his eyes.

It was then that Hux realised that Ren wasn’t pretending like he didn’t know what he was doing. How had he not done this before? Someone who was bonded for that long – how long did he know Ren, seven years maybe, and the bond hadn’t been new then – and had never had sex in that position? That seemed ridiculous.

“Not too high, not too low.” He left his hands on Ren’s waist, guiding him and revelling in the little noises that came out of Ren’s throat every time he sank down again. He felt incredible, his walls just pushing down on him and Hux wanted to stay buried in him forever.

“That’s good,” he praised him and Ren whined. His hands were hanging down his body and Hux took them both and laid them over his shoulders. Ren followed the movement with a confused look, but found out the reason for that soon. Within a few minutes he had one hand fisted in Hux’ hair, the other buried in his shoulder and was bouncing up and down Hux’ cock as if his life depended on it, constantly whimpering and moaning.

Hux tried to tell himself that it was the pheromones, the novelty, that made him come so fast, because he found his knot starting to swell at an embarrassingly fast rate.

“Ren, Ren!” He tried keeping him down, but a flicker of pain crossed Ren’s face and he did it himself, seemingly having noticed that it wasn’t in his best interest to keep up this pace.

He kept going up and down and Hux was transfixed by the look on his face, the scar, the moles, his lips and the tongue that darted out to lick them. Hux looked up and found Ren staring at him and he realised what an absolute horrible, amazing idea it would be to kiss him.

Ren’s forehead fell against his own by the time Hux’ orgasm hit him and he panted into Ren’s open mouth, their lips not touching, but close. Ren whined as Hux felt his knot swell to its full girth, locking himself inside Ren. Ren was still whining and Hux felt bad about coming without giving Ren anything back, so he trailed his hand down over Ren’s body toward his clit. Ren’s hand gripped his wrist before he could do anything though.

“No.”

Oh dear, was this still the thing from before? “You didn’t come, let me help you.”

Ren shook his head, his cheeks coloured red. “I did, twice.”

Raising his eyebrows Hux swallowed at that thought, his cock giving a hopeful twitch within Ren that made them both moan.

To distract himself from the way it made him feel, Hux leaned down to get the water bottle, trying to tone out the way Ren whimpered, when his movement made his knot move inside Ren and picked it up.

He unscrewed the cap and gave it to Ren, who accepted it with a puzzled look. Just like everything else, Hux tried to ignore it and hoped that the next few hours would be better. Novelty wearing off and all.

 

* * *

 

Kylo screamed into the pillow as Hux fucked into him again, his weight bearing down on him. He had been reluctant to accept any other position that on his back – and maybe the one where had been on top, that was his favourite now, even though he knew he would never be able to do it again after his heat was over – but he had never thought that being on his knees, with his ass in the air and his face down would actually be enjoyable. That sex during his heat could be this enjoyable, without leaving him feeling dirty and ashamed.

But it was. He could bury his head in the pillows and try to tune out how good Hux felt, while Hux leaned over him, one hand in his hair, the other one on his hip, his scent urging Kylo to keep going, keep going. He moved his hand back, feeling for Hux somewhere behind him and finally got a hold of something. He gripped Hux flank with too much force, screaming again when Hux barely formed knot caught on the opening of his cunt and dragged his nails down.

“Fuck,” Hux cursed and forced Kylo’s head harder into the pillow.

Kylo wasn’t sure why he had been so against this.

 

The five minutes Hux had wanted to use the bathroom hadn’t sounded so bad when he said it, but by the time he came back, Kylo was ready to jump him and he did. He pressed Hux against the wall, panting against his neck while rubbing against him. It was Hux, who turned them around, wrapped one of Kylo’s legs around his waist and buried himself to the hilt with one smooth move, pushing the come that had started to leak out of him back in.

Kylo would later realise that he spent the whole time gouging his fingernails down Hux’ back and that being tied while standing was really uncomfortable.

Hux didn’t feed him the food he brought – Kylo believed himself to be unable to handle something like that, especially from Hux – but set it down next to Kylo and Kylo who thought that it was too hot to eat, decided to reward him – and mostly himself - by pushing him on his back, sinking down on him and fucking them to orgasm in record time. He pulled the food towards them with the Force and Kylo enjoyed tensing his muscles every time Hux was putting something in his mouth, resulting in the Alpha nearly choking on his food. It was funny, but it only made him want it more.

 

There were a lot of Alphas who enjoyed _the talk_ , as Kylo liked to call it. Degrading talk about how good the Omega would look knocked up, how they couldn’t wait for everyone to see who the Omega belonged to. Kylo’s Alpha had indulged in it at the beginning and Kylo had always felt dirtier after it, like he was nothing more than a thing to be used and showed off.

So when Hux opened his mouth at the beginning of the third day, when the heat was nearly over, Kylo felt panic rise at the back of his throat.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he said and Kylo swallowed. Hux was leaning against the headboard, his legs bent behind Kylo’s back and his hands roaming over Kylo’s chest, scratching through the hair leading down to his cunt and flicking his nipples every so often.

“What?” he dared to ask, ready to throw himself off Hux, before he was tied to him. Not again.

“I said you’re gorgeous. The way you move.” Hux met hit thrusts and Kylo whined. “The way your whole skin flushes, the way your muscles move under your skin every time you thrust down.”

Kylo’s mouth stood open, dumbfounded at the sudden outburst of praise, at the compliments for his appearance and he felt embarrassed and confused and amazed all at once. It was then that he felt Hux’ knot swell inside him, locking his cock inside Kylo and the feeling of nearly being split in two, was enough to make him come. He screwed his eyes shut and bit down on his lip, while he heard Hux moan.

When he opened his eyes Hux was staring at his lips, most likely swollen and bitten red, his throat moving when he swallowed. Kylo leaned forward, the need to kiss him suddenly so overwhelming, that he couldn’t control it and Hux closed his eyes and turned his head away.

“We can’t,” Hux croaked, his voice as hoarse as Kylo’s.

For a second Kylo wasn’t sure what Hux meant. There was nothing bad about kissing, it wasn’t worse than fucking after all, his mate-

Kylo froze. His mate. The mate for which he was doing this. The mate, which he hadn’t thought about once in terms of the reason for this.

He crossed eyes with Hux, who looked as shameful as he did and turned his head away, resting his forehead on Hux’ shoulder. He was truly fucked.

 

Despite the earlier awkward moment his heat had overtaken again and after two other exhausting rounds, they had both fallen asleep on Kylo’s bed.

Kylo woke on his side, facing Hux, hours later, the chrono telling him it was already evening. He felt sore and his muscles hurt, but the need to have sex was just a faint reminder at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and reached out through the Force, trying to get a feeling if they had been successful and pulled back immediately.

Of course it was too early to tell, but he knew, he knew that it had taken this time. He pressed his hand against his mouth to stop himself from crying out and forced himself to assess this in a way that wouldn’t make him lash out.

He was okay, he could do this, this was what was asked of him, there was nothing bad, people dealt with this all the time, he could-

He stopped his train of thoughts when Hux moved and laid his arm loosely on Kylo’s own, drifting right back to sleep.

Even though Hux wasn’t concerned any of this – apart from giving his seed – the presence of his arm comforted Kylo a little bit. Not enough to stop worrying, but enough to curl in on himself and push the thoughts aside until the morning.

When he woke again, the other side of the bed was cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom stuff or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/theeverknowing) for funny retweets and rants about how much life sucks.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and remember, comments are always appreciated. :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kylo, Hux and Phasma try to accept their futures and Poe and Finn finally make an important discovery.

**Outgoing message**

It’s positive.

**Incoming message**

It seems like you can do things right after all. Wait for further instructions.

 

 

“So?” Phasma said, and switched her stance while Kylo kicked the pads around her hands.

“What?” Kylo cursed when she moved her hands again, higher this time. He levelled himself up with one foot, doing a half spin and managed to kick the pad so hard, she stumbled towards the side.

“It’s been two weeks. How long are you going to ignore the giant elephant in the room?”

“I don’t know how long are you going to ignore the message from the council?”

If Kylo were more used to having people around him who he didn’t hate, he might have realised that talking about the demotion that was coming up for Phasma, was extremely rude. As far as he was aware, he was the only one whom she had told herself, the only person she chose to inform about this. Of course, some higher ups knew, but only because it had been an official demotion, signed by Kylo’s Alpha and Hux.

She punched him square across the chest with the pad and Kylo stumbled backwards, nearly falling on his ass.

“I’m just saying,” Kylo coughed and spit out blood from biting on his own tongue. “That pretending like you’re busy won’t help anyone, least of all you.”

“And I’m just saying that you should probably rethink your choice if you can’t even go to a simple check-up because the thought alone makes you throw up.” That had been one time and Kylo was still adamant that it was morning sickness. It was way too early and so far the only time, but it had been a total coincidence that it had occurred right when he had been due for an appointment with the med droid. Right after his heat, he had been so sure that he could manage, that he could force himself to accept it, but he just couldn’t face the thought yet, couldn’t get used to something he didn’t want and was against and he couldn’t even talk to someone about it. Or maybe … Kylo looked at Phasma, considering her. She wouldn’t keep her mouth shut because she was afraid of him – he felt like she wasn’t afraid of anyone – but maybe because she understood. If there weren’t the fact that she was an Alpha and all Alpha’s were the same after all.

“Wasn’t my choice,” he grumbled and Phasma raised her eyebrows. She half-heartedly stopped his punch and then lowered her hands.

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Why did you agree to this, if you didn’t want it?” she asked, already connecting the dots and Kylo shook his head. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“Ren, _Kylo_. Did you agree to this?”

Kylo closed his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about this, he really didn’t, but of course he hadn’t thought again, had made the wrong decision again and it had come to this. His Alpha was right, he couldn’t do things right.

When he opened his eyes, he didn’t know what kind of look was on his face, but when he shook his head, genuine pity appeared on Phasma’s face.

They were both doomed.

 

“Ren, Ren!” Kylo closed his eyes and clenched his fists when he heard Hux’ voice behind him. He had tried to ignore the Alpha these past two weeks, had just tried to forget everything that happened during his heat, because what he had felt during these three days was unacceptable.

But now Hux was here and Kylo couldn’t pretend like he didn’t read his messages or heard the doorbell.

He stopped in the middle of the hallway and sent a murderous look towards the two stormtroopers coming towards them. They stopped immediately and turned back around.

Kylo took a deep breath and turned around to Hux. Suddenly he felt small, with his sweatpants and tank top and tied back hair, that hadn’t seen a shower yet.

Hux was walking towards him with that fast determined walk that made his inferiors everywhere want to hide. Today Kylo felt like one of them too.

“What do you want?” he asked, as Hux came to halt in front of him. He pressed his lips together, obviously put off by Kylo’s rudeness.

“I’ve been trying to contact you. You cannot ignore me just because of one of your childish tantrums.”

Kylo raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms in front of his chest, pretending to feel more confident that he actually was. “I wasn’t aware that you were contacting me for anything professional.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Then I can ignore you all I want. You have no right to know anything about my private life and you’re not privy to any kind of information about me.” There, that was good, that put exactly the emotional difference between them that Kylo needed.

Hux gaped like a fish for a second, before reigning himself back in. “I do deserve to know I our attempts were successful.”

“Why? The Supreme Leader will inform you if anything else is necessary.”

Hux didn’t deserve this, Kylo knew that. He had treated Kylo with the utmost respect, generosity and kindness during his heat, letting him feel more alive than his mate had ever done and that was the problem. Kylo couldn’t feel like this. He couldn’t look forward to sexual intercourse, because it would never again be with anyone else than his Alpha and there would never again be a moment where Kylo could feel safe and even precious. Especially not with Hux of all people. Even now the hollowness he had felt as he had awoken alone after his heat left him miserable.

When he looked into Hux’ eyes he could see a few different emotions, a few that … Kylo narrowed his eyes and reached out with the Force to scan Hux’ surface emotions.

_What Kylo said made sense for him, that had been the deal and he didn’t get why he was behaving like this. He wasn’t supposed to have any kind of feeling over Ren’s emotional or physical well being, nor this stupid possessiveness that suddenly stroke him at the thought of the Supreme Leader being responsible for Ren._

Kylo recoiled from Hux’ mind and it only took Hux a second to realise why. His eyes widened and he made a step back. Kylo had never seen Hux so frightened and he was pretty sure that Hux was talking himself into some kind of panic attack. It was his time to leave then.

“If that was all.” Kylo turned back around and went along his way.

 

* * *

 

Hux tried to take a deep breath, as he stepped into his own quarters and closed the door behind him. Nothing bad had happened. Everything was fine. So now Ren was aware of the biological reaction he had managed to put Hux into, that wasn’t so bad, there was nothing wrong with that. Certainly the Supreme Leader would understand, if Ren told him. Or maybe Ren wouldn’t tell him and Hux was good. It wasn’t like he would get demoted over this silly little thing, just as he had feared when he had gotten the assignment weeks ago?

Speaking of demoted. He had just talked himself down from his anxiety, as the control panel pinged and told him that Phasma had finally accepted his proposition for a meeting. Right now.

He took another deep breath and clenched his fists, before he opened the door.

Phasma stepped in, not wearing her armour, but workout clothes. Unlike Ren she had already showered and Hux was thankful for that.

“Come in, Devyn,” he said and didn’t miss her flinching as he didn’t use any of her titles. Under normal circumstances Hux would have liked to keep this professional, but the situation they were in was anything else than that.

“Would you like to sit?” Phasma didn’t even look at him when he motioned to the group of sofas and chairs. She kept her gaze straight forward and military, like was expected of her. Hux had thought they were past that.

“Lieutenant-General Devyn Phasma, here to be subjected to disciplinary measures,” she simply said and Hux sighed. He nodded and reached for his data pad. He’s had the order and the protocols on his data pad for the past week, waiting for Phasma to turn herself in. He hadn’t expected her to give in so soon.

“Sit,” he ordered and she stomped over to the sofa in front of him and sat down. Hux leaned forward and turned the microphone of the recording application on his pad on, before continuing.

“After the situation at Starkiller Base, you’ve come under suspicion of high treason. This suspicion was proven wrong and you were drawn back into active service. However, at the sixteenth of July a gathering was held on the Finalizer, with all personnel present. During this gathering Intel could be provided that seven stormtroopers were thinking of deserting and joining the Resistance. Do you know why you’re here?” Hux asked her and Phasma gritted her teeth.

“No, I don’t see any relation between these instances.”

“By incident light these seven stormtroopers were recommended by you for officer positions and even training. I guess you can understand why High Command thinks it’s a bit suspicious that only the stormtroopers that you recommend turn out to be traitors.”

Shaking her head, Phasma’s mouth quirked up. “And that’s why I’m being demoted and sent to reconditioning?”

“Re-education,” Hux reminded her, but nodded. “It seems safer to confine your reach to impressionable minds at this point.”

When Phasma stood, Hux half expected her to punch him. She wasn’t Ren though, so she just paced around the sofa, driving her hands through her hair.

“I didn’t do it deliberately, Breandan. They’re smart and resourceful, maybe that’s why they started thinking too much, but I’m not a traitor.”

“I believe you.” She looked at him like she thought he was lying, but whatever she looked for in his eyes, it seemed to be there and she nodded, her hands shaking.

“You know what’s happening here, right?”

He narrowed his eyes and tapped on the recorder. It turned off.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Demoting me, knocking Ren up and probably pulling him out of service as soon as he can and using you for it, so that he can accuse you of rape and adultery when it suits him. The Supreme Leader is trying to get rid of us.”

“Don’t be stupid, Devyn. We’re just following his orders.” Hux swallowed. That thought, that traitorous thought, that the Supreme Leader was setting him up to fail, needed to stay deep in his mind.

“So he ordered you to fuck him silly? You know, it took a week to get your scent off Ren’s skin, I don’t think that’s what the Supreme Leader had in mind. And there are a lot of other people he can punish who have way more to do with the stormtrooper training than me.”

Feeling his head turn red, Hux tried to hide his embarrassment. He had overdone it, he shouldn’t have touched him so much, fucked him so throughout. There was a tiny voice inside him that reminded him how much Ren had enjoyed it, how much more Hux could give him that he buried underneath fear and responsibilities.

“That sounds close to treason for me,” Hux croaked and Phasma gave him a look that called him out on his bullshit.

“I believe in the ideals of the First Order, in our mission and our duty. But the way things are, this isn’t the right way to create an Empire and you know that.”

“So what do you want to do? Overthrow the Supreme Leader? Join the Resistance? Run away and hide for the rest of your pathetic life?”

She sat down again on the sofa and Hux could relate to the look of defeat on her face, to the nagging conclusion that their time was over, because of one mistake. “I wanted to change things, I wanted to make the galaxy better, but I feel like that’s not what the Supreme Leader wants. I feel like he’s just after his own agenda and it doesn’t align with ours at all.”

She spoke what Hux had been too afraid to say these past weeks. She spoke without fear, but with courage and loyalty to their mission and it made Hux realise just how much was wrong with their current situation.

He didn’t have a solution for it, he didn’t have a plan, so he just got up, filled two tumblers with alcohol and handed her one.

Their gazes locked when they downed their glasses in one gulp and for the first time in a while Hux felt like he wasn’t alone in the demise that was coming for him.

 

* * *

 

Seventeen days after his heat had ended Kylo finally found his way to medical. The droid rolled towards him as soon as it saw him and tugged him along.

Kylo didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to think about it, but this morning he had gotten a message from his Alpha, reminding him that he expected him to take the utmost care of the child, even as undeveloped as it was right now.

“I’ve been expecting you for quite some time now, Lord Ren,” the droid chirped, having aparrantly lost every single ounce of fear and Kylo dug his nails into the balms of his hands.

“I’ll just take some blood so you’ll know if you’re the lucky parent of one or more pubs soon.”

Kylo swallowed his anger down, the feeling of being looked down upon from the stupid droid who knew that Kylo had confirmed his pregnancy already himself and who couldn’t stop talking.

Kylo held out his arm and let the droid take some blood without flinching and then waited. These things never took long, but Kylo knew what kind of pain waited for him if he tried running out of the exam. He tried to ground himself, center himself in the Force but it didn’t feel like usual, it didn’t feel like he could breathe for a few moments and he knew whose fault that was. He couldn’t access the Force clearly because he was afraid that there would come the point where he would be able to feel the thing inside him and he couldn’t deal with that. Logically he knew that it would take weeks before that was possible, but the fear was there nonetheless.

“And there it is, congratulations, Master Kylo, you truly are pregnant.”

Kylo looked at the med-droid until it started shuffling around. “Well, I have a number of vitamins I want to subscribe to you and of course you shouldn’t exert yourself too much, we don’t want to endanger you or the pub, right?”

Gritting his teeth, he nodded again and the med-droid turned around to get everything it needed. When Kylo looked down on his data-pad he realised that the droid had already sent him a copy of the report, another one went right to Kylo’s Alpha. There was also a message from one of his Knights that he ignored right now. Finding the information about the holocron could wait. Instead he found that his Alpha had already contacted him about the report.

 

**Incoming message**

Don’t keep me waiting so long again.

**Outgoing message**

Of course, forgive me.

 

Kylo hovered over the Forward button and pressed it, as long as the droid was still busy. Maybe there was someone else who should be privy to the report, too.

 

**Outgoing message**

You wanted to be informed. Now you are.

[Attachment: Blood_report_Ren_Kylo]

**Incoming messages**

I can’t open it. I don’t have the clearance.

 

Kylo frowned. That was … weird. Hux was the General, he was one of the highest ranking members of the First Order – and the only ones who could maybe pressure him into doing something – apart from the Supreme Leader - was the High Command as a collective – and there shouldn’t be any file that was inaccessible for him. Kylo checked if there was something wrong with the file itself, but everything seemed fine. The clearance level was at exactly Hux’ (and Kylo’s). Maybe Kylo’s Alpha had changed his clearance? The thought alone was ridiculous and Kylo brushed it away. It was probably just a software malfunction.

 

**Outgoing message**

Positive. Looking good.

Getting some prescription vitamins.

**Incoming messages**

Thank you.

 

It must have cost Hux a lot of self-restraint not to tell him that he deserved to know or that Kylo was too late with the appointment, or too rude in his message, but the simple thank you was much more than he had received from his Alpha and funny enough, it was that simple sentence that made him feel more grounded than he had been in a week.

 

* * *

 

“Can you do it faster?” Poe asked, as Finn tried to access the control panel, without waking the whole level up. So far he was through the first and second part of security, but the third one was giving him a lot of trouble.

“I’m doing the best I can,” he whispered back and Poe went back to looking out for any potential threats. Not that the guards were the most dangerous thing around, Finn was pretty sure that as soon as Oshok'nusi found them not in their rooms, she would send everyone after them. Finn had grown to like the Twi’lek women, she was funny and smart and really enthusiastic, but if there was one thing she was also really good at it was disturbing them when they were trying to find new information – which was probably why Poe couldn’t stand her even though he seemed to like everyone. This one was their fourth attempt at breaking into the control room, ever since they had seen a big file on the “stability of bonds and the lack thereof” appear in the index.

When the panel finally turned green, Finn stopped himself from hugging the panel. Maybe he would as soon as they were out of here.

“Let’s go.”

The main computer was still on, like it was every night to transition the file from one server to another. Finn knew it was password protected, but Poe had gotten out of one of the techies, that they actually used every password for every computer, unless someone specifically changed it and that just wasn’t done with the main computer. Apparently there had been a moment in First Order history when no one had known a password and it had taken them weeks that they didn’t have to find something.

Finn typed in the password. Wrong. He typed in it again and realised he had typed the wrong button right before he hit enter and did it again.

“Welcome” the screen read and Poe bent down to push the drive in the computer.

He opened the database and looked for the key-word ‘bond (relationship)’.

“We got four files on bonds, should we take them all?” Finn asked Poe, after the search had come back. Poe nodded and leaned forward. This close, his scent was nearly overwhelming and Finn shook his head to get it clear. Maybe he could allow himself to hug Poe later, to indulge in his scent as soon as they were out of here.

“Yeah, better safe than sorry.”

The download started.

30%

Finn looked over to Poe, who gave him a shaky smile.

45%

Something moved outside the door and they both froze. Whoever it was, they walked off soon enough and they both dared to breathe again.

When the screen read 68% Finn suddenly felt like something was wrong and he reached down to the knife that he was carrying instead of a blaster, but found that he couldn’t move it.

“Well, well, well,” said a voice that he knew all too well. 

“What do we have here?” the voice said and the sudden noise of a lightsaber igniting sent a shudder down Finn’s still sore back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) for lots of multifandom stuff or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/theeverknowing) for funny retweets and rants about how much life sucks.
> 
> Next chapter should be posted two weeks from now and remember, comments are always appreciated. :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn and Poe fear for their lives and Kylo makes a few unwelcome discoveries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone who is wondering why I didn't update last week: My big bang got posted! If you're interested in social media, politics, fake/arranged marriage and Kylux, feel free to check it out [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7085914).

The lightsaber Finn buzzed and buzzed behind Finn and he felt a sudden burst of dizziness. His vision became dark at the edges and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. The pain in his back became overwhelming, like Kylo Ren had slashed it open mere seconds ago and not nearly two months.

He couldn’t breathe, the heat was too intense, the pain too unbearable and then… it was gone.

Oshok'nusi’s face suddenly appeared in front of him, her eyebrows drawn high on her purple face. She snapped her fingers in front of his eyes and Finn could focus on her. Until he looked down and saw the lightsaber in her hand, still ignited, still ready to tear him apart.

She followed his gaze and tilted her head, her lekku twitching curiously.

“What’s his problem?” she asked Poe. Finn couldn’t turn his head far enough to see Poe, but he had never heard him so angry.

“He got his back sliced open by one of you bastards.”

Her mouth opened in a big ‘o’. “Oh, FN-2187 is it? Master Kylo mentioned something like that.”

And then it dawned on Finn. The lightsaber, how Oshok'nusi hadn’t been good at cataloguing on her own but had been able to work just as good as everyone else, when other people were working and her obsession with pre-imperial Force data.

“You’re a Knight of Ren.”

She bowed with a mocking look on her face and swished her hand. Finn could feel the mask peel from his face and fall to the floor. According to the noise, the same happened to Poe.

“So… FN-2187… Finn is it? With the Resistance I guess and well…” She walked out of his point of view and he could only guess that she was now standing in front of Poe. “The best pilot in the Resistance, I’ve heard. Poe Dameron?”

She giggled. “Between us three, hot damn.”

No one laughed.

Oshok'nusi allowed him some kind of movement and when he turned his head in her direction he could see that she was pouting in front of Poe who was looking at her with a blank expression. “Come on, guys, that was funny.”

“I’d say our fast-approaching deaths have left us a bit humourless,” Poe said and Oshok'nusi looked from him to Finn and back again.

“Death? No one is speaking about deaths!”

Finn looked down at the lightsaber.

She pulled it back in and put it back on her belt.

Finn felt himself move towards a chair and landed on it, Poe next to him.

“So what are you doing here?”

No one said anything.

“Unless you’re trying to assassinate me or Master Kylo I don’t care and I’m gonna let you walk out of here.” It would probably be easier to assassinate Kylo Ren, then to do what they were doing now.

“Why would you do that?” Finn asked and she just smiled at him. “And what is a Knight of Ren even doing here? Can’t you just access the database from outside?”

“We’re just worried that people might not know what to do with what we’re looking for. So Master Kylo sent me here.”

“He is a paranoid bastard isn’t he? I mean not trusting the First Order and all.” Poe shared a look with Finn. Typical First Order.

“Just a bit,” she whispered, like they were sharing a secret. “So… I know from your mind that it has something to do with Master Kylo, what exactly…” she trailed off and moved towards the computer screen. “Bonds? What do you care about bonds?”

She was in their face immediately and Finn closed his eyes. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it.

“Darling, honey,” she addressed both of them. “You both know I can pluck the information right out of your brain. And _you_ ” she leaned close towards Poe. “know how painful that can be.”

Finn remembered seeing Poe in the interrogation chamber, barely conscious, blood and sweat everywhere. He remembered hearing the screams from him and other victims of Ren’s Force powers and suddenly realised that he would not subjugate Poe to them again.

“We want to find out if it’s possible to break the bond between Ren and your Supreme Leader.”

“Finn.”

“Hm,” Oshok'nusi looked surprised. “And why would you do that?”

“To weaken Snoke and the Order of course.”

“Finn!”

She looked at both of them, pity in her eyes. “But that would only work if it’s a two-way bond, which it isn’t. If you could break the bond, it would unbind Master Kylo from the Supreme Leader, but only Master Kylo would be emotionally weakened. I can’t believe that Leia Organa would send two good soldiers on a mission just for that.”

Finn remembered them talking about it early during their journey. He had suspected something like this, but in the end it had proven to be too unlikely, but now…

He looked over to Poe, who was staring right ahead, his eyes moving from one side to another, thinking.

Even Oshok'nusi seemed to be thinking, and Finn didn’t know where this was coming from but somehow he felt like he could trust her with this, like he knew what was going on in her mind. It was just a feeling… like a connection that he couldn’t explain.

“What if I told you that Leia Organa sent us on this mission to get her son unbounded from Snoke?”

“What?!” He tried to ignore Poe for the time being.

Oshok'nusi didn’t look impressed. “I’d say nice try, but I don’t believe you.”

“His name is Ben, Han Solo is his father and he killed him on Starkiller Base. I saw it with my own eyes, take a look.”

She reached out with her hand immediately and Finn scrunched his eyes together. It was uncomfortable and invasive, but it didn’t feel as worse as it could. Maybe because he had allowed her inside.

When he opened his eyes, Poe was looking at him with his mouth open, confusion written all over his face.

“Well that’s… interesting. I didn’t think that Ben Organa-Solo would be someone to bond with the Supreme Leader. I wasn’t there of course, it was right after he became the Jedi Killer.”

And finally Poe spoke. “He was thirteen when that happened.” Finn’s head snapped around. He hadn’t known that Poe knew Ren as … well as Ben.

“Huh.” Oshok'nusi squeaked more than she said and leaned back. “Well… also very interesting.”

And suddenly Finn could move again, as could Poe. He raised his hands when something was flung at him and realised it was the data-stick.

“Run along.” She wiggled her fingers. “Hush, hush, come on.”

Finn exchanged a look with Poe, who only shrugged. Oshok'nusi had pulled out her data pad and was typing something on it. When they were sure that this wasn’t some kind of screwed up chasing game, they ran out of the room.

He didn’t know how long it took them to leave the compound and get to the small town, where they had parked their ship, but when he leaned there he handed the stick to Poe, who accepted it silently.

It was after they took off, that Poe finally spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it mattered. And General Organa, she was…”

“Hm…” made Poe and BB8 beeped behind them, while sending the data out.

“Does it matter? How do you know how old he was?”

Poe looked at him and smiled sadly. “He was my friend.”

 

* * *

 

Kylo opened his eyes from where he had fallen asleep on his bed. The room around him was in utterly destroyed, but he found his new data pad somehow next to his boots. There were a lot of new messages, but the one that had woken him was the one from his Knight. Hopefully finally news on the holocron front.

 

**Incoming Message**

We need to talk!!!

 

Kylo took a look at the console. There was a big hole in it where he had embedded his lightsaber.

 

**Outgoing Message**

It’s not a good time, later.

 

He put the data pad away and ignored the five messages that came in immediately. He felt something happen in the Force, somewhere aboard this ship and got up immediately. Pulling on his boots he looked for his lightsaber and pulled it out from under the bed. He really hadn’t had a good time after that medical exam.

Kylo stomped out of his room, drawn to whatever was happening, and ignored everyone who crossed his paths. People jumped out of his ways, but Kylo was too focussed. He knew what that feeling was. Traitorous thoughts, panic, hope. It reminded him of FN-2187, but he had been so sure that he had found all traitors in their midst. Even if not, at least it helped him concentrate on something else.

He found himself in one of the control centres, the only person in the room Phasma. She was typing furiously. Kylo followed the movements on the screen and realised that she was creating an authorisation for ship departure.

“You’re leaving,” he said as the door closed behind him and she jumped around, blaster pointed at him. When she saw who it was she put the blaster away, most likely aware that he could stop it anyway.

“I’m leaving,” she confirmed and pressed her lips together.

“That’s treason.”

She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her hands.

Kylo frowned. “You received your orders. Demoting and re-education.” They would never let her have command of anything again.

“Listen, Ren, I don’t know what’s going on in the First Order, but it’s not right. What Snoke is currently doing, what the High Command is doing? I feel like we’re not bringing the Galaxy order, we’re just throwing it into chaos. Even Hux agrees. So yes, I’m leaving and I’m taking those seven stormtroopers with me, and yes I’m a traitor.”

“Is Hux coming with you?” Somehow the thought that these two might leave, without even asking him hurt him, even though it was a really stupid thought. He didn’t care about either of them. At least that was what he liked to think.

She shook her head. Relief flooded through him. So they weren’t leaving him behind. “He still believes that he can change his fate. Even though we both know he’ll be executed before the year is over.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t believe that Snoke will let him life after what he did to you? I know you can’t tell, but he wasn’t just following orders. Plus Starkiller Base? He’s done for.”

What did she mean by that? What had Hux done, that hadn’t been following orders? Had it been why Hux had been so scared? The possessiveness, the kindness?

“Then it’s stupid that he doesn’t leave.”

Phasma moved her eyebrows up and looked at him. “Yeah, sometimes people don’t see that they can escape a hopeless situation. Not even when the solution gets handed to them on a silver plate.”

Kylo hummed and stared at the screen again. Phasma didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then she sighed.

“Kylo.” He looked at her. “We’re leaving at 0300 hours. Do you want to come with us?”

The thought was ridiculous. Leaving the First Order, leaving his Alpha. He couldn’t just leave, he would only become as powerful as his grandfather under his Alpha’s training. Nothing else could do that. And his sacrifices were worth it.

“No… But thank you.”

She nodded. “Take of yourself.”

Kylo dared himself to smile and left the room. He waited for it to close completely before he left, not wanting anyone to know that Phasma was in there.

He marched back to his room, ready to order another console when he could suddenly hear footsteps behind him.

“Lord Ren, Lord Ren!” Lieutenant Mitaka. Still alive. He always forgot.

“What?” he snarled and Mitaka stopped and nearly doubled over.

“Sir, there are urgent calls for you from Oshok'nusi Ren. She said she couldn’t reach you on your own panel, so now she keeps calling the bridge.”

He sighed. Well then he would have to talk to her now.

“Put it in one of the transmission rooms.”

“Sir, it’s an encrypted line. Only the bridge, yours or General Hux’ computer are able to receive it.”

“Then put it in General Hux’ room, I’ll take the call there.”

Mitaka hovered. “What is it?”

“Sir, General Hux is currently in his room.” At Kylo’s murderous look he took a step back. “He’s been called back without explanation, I’m sorry I don’t know more.”

“Dismissed.”

Kylo pondered over why Hux was in his room all the way to it and used his override code to open the door. Hux was sitting on his couch, a bottle of alcohol on the table, with only the barest bit gone and his head on the table, his hands buried in his hair.

Kylo looked at him and then at the room. It was all dark and empty, smelling of sterilized air and Hux’ Alpha scent. It wasn’t as bad as Kylo had thought it would be. There was a comforting hint to it.

“Go away, Devyn.”

“She’s not here,” Kylo said and Hux’ head snapped up.

“ _No._ Out of here, right now.”

“I need to use your control panel,” Kylo explained and didn’t wait for Hux to answer. He marched through the living room to another adjoined one, not caring what it was and closed the door behind him, holding it shut with the Force. In here Hux’ scent was a lot stronger and Kylo realised with a quick overview that he was standing in Hux’ bedroom.

Shaking his head to get the scent out of his nose he walked over to the panel and logged in with his data. While he waited he saw Hux’ data pad on the table, a message still open.

 

 **From:** First Order High Command

 **To:** Breandan Hux

 **Subject:** Future Orders

 

_Breandan Hux,_

_We hereby inform you, that disciplinary measure are being taken considered in case of your failures at Starkiller Base._

_While we first saw it as an external error, we have now reconsidered. It has also come to our attention that the Supreme Leader himself has been gravely insulted by your actions. We expect you to subjugate yourself as soon as the Finalizer docks on Arkanis._

_As of now, we relieve you of your command. Your second in command Major General Osan Ithak will take your place for the time being, unless it is an absolute emergency that cannot be solved by anyone else than your person._

_Regards,_

_First Order High Command_

 

Kylo raised his eyebrows at the mention of his Alpha. This was probably what Phasma had spoken off. She probably hadn’t expected it to happen this fast.

The call from Oshok'nusi ripped him away from his thoughts and he accepted it immediately.

“Finally!” she said when her purple face came up on the screen. She looked near hysterical.

“Have you found the h-“

“No, no, Master Kylo,” she kneaded her hands. “I had an encounter that made me realise that there may be some things you don’t know.”

“What encounter?”

She swallowed, seemingly embarrassed. “I ran into two Resistance spies at the archive and they told me that they’re looking into stuff about bond breaking.”  
“What does the Resistance care about that?” He decided to as the most pressing thing. The question how two Resistance spies had even gotten in there could be addressed later, since the First Order seemed to fail a lot these past months.

“They were sent by Leia Organa to…” she stopped. “Please don’t be mad. To break the bond between her son Ben and the Supreme Leader.”

Kylo stopped breathing. He heard something crunch under his fingers and saw that it was the table. He ignored Hux’ yell from the other side of the door about not destroying his equipment and concentrated on breathing.

“One of them said that that’s you. And the other one said that you were thirteen when you bonded.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” His voice didn’t sound as shaky as it felt, but it was a close call. He couldn’t do this. Not now. And why did Oshok'nusi care about this? And what was his mother on about? Was she trying to punish him for killing his father?

“Well that made me think about the current situation, and how wrong this feels, especially if you don’t know, which I of course hadn’t considered before, which brings me to the reason for my call.”

Kylo raised his eyebrows at her outburst, not able to follow her. She had always been a fast thinker, whose train of thoughts no one could follow.

She took a deep breathe. “Have you been informed that your command is recalled?”

“Excuse me?” Now he really couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be true. She must have understood something wrong. Hux’ and Phasma’s command had been recalled, not his own.

“The Supreme Leader sent a message to all of us informing us that you’re stepping down because of your condition as soon as the first month is over. I’ve been assigned as the new Master.”

“When?” Ren croaked.

“Sixteen days ago.”

Right after his heat. Right after Kylo had confirmed the pregnancy himself. Why couldn’t Kylo stay? Why hadn’t he been informed? There was only one person who knew.

“I need to go.”

“Kylo! I’m sorry,” she said before Kylo tipped the _end call_ button.

Kylo let his head fall on the console and screamed.

“Ren!” Hux yelled from outside, but Kylo ignored him again and pressed the button with the name of the Supreme Leader.

The call kept going and going, like he didn’t want to talk to Kylo, but Kylo wasn’t ready to give up yet.

After what felt like an eternity, his Alpha did answer. The look on his face was annoyed.

“What can I-“

“Why have you recalled my command?” Kylo snapped, ignoring the pain in the pack of his head, as he interrupted his Alpha.

“It’s my command to give and take as I want, Kylo, you know that. And in your condition…”

“It’s the first month.”

His Alpha ‘hmmd’.

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Try to learn how to be a father, you’ll need that soon.”

“I thought…” Kylo had never thought he would have to be the one responsible for the child. He had expected someone else to take of it. A droid most likely.

“Kylo,” his Alpha sighed. “I’ve told you that you’re not getting any younger and let’s not mention your volatile control on the Force, don’t you think it’s better if you concentrate on what your true purpose is?”

He had told him that he could make him stronger, that he could become better, that his affinity to the dark side was, what made him so different and that only he could understand him that only he could accept his designation and still make him powerful.

Kylo mustered every bit of free-will he had and said: “No.”

“Excuse me?” The Supreme Leader said and Kylo felt the weight of his command bear down on him.

“I said no, I don’t think that’s better.” He felt ill, like he needed to vomit.

“Then what would you rather have? Walking around, letting everyone know what you are and remind them of it every day?” The Supreme Leader narrowed his eyes. “Or do you want to stay close to General Hux? I’m not impressed by your lack of restraint, I guess you’d throw yourself at everyone who gave you the tinniest of attention.”

“You ordered me. And him.” He shouldn’t speak out against the Supreme Leader, he shouldn’t, he wasn’t allowed and it was ungrateful, after all the things he had done for him, but no. Kylo realised in this moment that he would be ungrateful, because he couldn’t stand this. He just couldn’t.

“Oh yes I did. I guess he’d only have you if he was ordered. Pathetic. Especially now?” He motioned over his face and Kylo tried to hide his embarrassment. “Who wants broken things?”

“I didn’t throw myself at him, I did it because you wished it so.”

“You could have fooled me. The way you kept wishing for him to kiss you, thinking about how no one ever treated you like this, how no one had ever been this kind to you and it wasn’t even real.”

“Shut up!” Kylo panted, his hands pressed to his ears. The Supreme Leader looked at him, his lips curled into a condescending sneer.

“Don’t like the truth?”

The truth. That wasn’t the truth. The truth… the truth was…

“You’re jealous,” he suddenly said, not sure where he found the courage and the will to withstand the pain. “You’re jealous because he could to do me what you couldn’t, because he gave me more pleasure than you ever have.” Kylo stopped, as he saw the anger on the Supreme Leaders face, but forced himself to continue. “You’re jealous because he made me want him. And I never wanted you like that.”

Kylo pressed end call, before the Supreme Leader could answer him and then got up and hastened to the refresher, to vomit the bile that had been at the back of his throat. This whole body hurt, and he felt numb in the Force, but for the first time in a long time he felt like he could breathe, like he wasn’t just some thing to be thrown around. This would of course come back to bite him the ass. He couldn’t outrun the Supreme Leader on a ship… Kylo looked up from where he was washing his mouth out and looked at himself in the mirror.

He couldn’t outrun him on a ship. Marching back to the console he pulled up an old log with Phasma and typed in a message.

 

**Outgoing message**

I changed my mind. I’m coming with you.

 

Kylo hesitated.

 

**Outgoing message**

I changed my mind. Can I come with you?

 

**Incoming message**

Of course. 0300, hangar G

 

Kylo sighed and logged himself out. He couldn’t stay here, because he couldn’t calm down to think. Thinking about it would make him change his mind, make him think that maybe this wasn’t so bad, maybe he had overreacted and the Supreme Leader hadn’t meant it that way.

He lifted his control of the door and could immediately hear Hux’ footsteps.

But Kylo had meant it that way. The Supreme Leader had felt insulted? Denounced? Publicly embarrassed? Because Kylo had reacted to someone taking care of him during his heat?

Maybe it was time that the Supreme Leader realised how much more insulted he could feel, when Kylo really enjoyed himself without the help if biology.

He got up and walked right at Hux, who came through the door in this moment.

“Ren, what the he-“ Hux yelped as Kylo pushed him against the wall next to the wall.

“Ren…” Hux said suspiciously.

“I want you,” Kylo said, fumbling at Hux’ zipper and sinking to his knees.

Hux just stared at him with his mouth open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've enjoyed this chapter, consider leaving a comment or following me on [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/theeverknowing).


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn and Poe finally get some answers, Hux abandons his principals and Kylo has a few good moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look I'm alive. More or less. As always apologies. I'm not even gonna pretend that I had a good reason (though I was busy going to cologne pride and having my family over and also falling out of the fandom).

“I’m fine,” Finn heard Poe say behind him. He turned around to look at the older Omega, seeing him being fussed over by BB-8 and raised his eyebrows.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, suddenly afraid that maybe Oshok’nusi hat done something to Poe that he hadn’t seen, something that he couldn’t stop and couldn’t help him with.

Poe looked at him, his annoyed look turning into a broad smile that seemed a little bit fake to Finn.

“Just stupid biology.” BB-8 beeped furiously at him. “Yes, I took my suppressant, do you see every Alpha jumping my bones?”

BB-8 turned around to Finn, who raised his hands in surrender. “I’m a Beta.”

And then. “Suppressants? Are you in heat?”

Poe shrugged and smiled, this time it seemed. “Last day.”

“I didn’t notice.” Finn had learned once that a Betas sense of smell wasn’t as good as that of an Alpha or an Omega, but he always thought that he would at least be able to scent a heat.

“You’re not supposed to. The suppressant they give out for military personnel is so strong that it doesn’t affect you at all. No crankiness, horniness or all the other side effects. You just feel a bit more uncomfortable.”

BB-8 beeped again. “Shut up, it’s not that bad.”

“That’s good,” Finn said and turned back around to the panel. He hadn’t noticed anything different about Poe, but now that he had mentioned it. Somehow he seemed off. Was Finn supposed to do anything? Bring him food or make him comfortable? What did friends do when one of them was in heat? Maybe he should ask Rey the next time they spoke, she surely knew more about these things than he did.

Trying to distract himself, he put the data drive into the computer and waited for the data to load.

Finn opened the first file they took, a short essay on the importance of bonds during the war – children, morale and comfort – and closed it again soon. The other three files were all bigger, whole books on bonds and one of them caught his interest “the History of mating bonds – the purpose, the stability, the consequences”.

He opened it, looking through the index and found one that was called “Why bonds are (nearly) unbreakable”.

“Poe,” he said and reached out with his hand to get him to stop talking to BB-8. He accidently swatted Poe against the shoulder, when the Omega appeared next to him, sitting down on the bench. Now that Finn knew he was in heat, he could actually smell it.

“Listen: _‘As we have touched upon the history of mating bonds and their use in earlier chapters, it is now time to concentrate on the one thing, that has fascinated scholars and scientists for the better part of the last millennium: The stability of the bond. Now, as we know bonds were used to bind two people to each other, so that they would provide each other and their – mostly accidental – children with shelter, food, protection and comfort. Therefore nature designed bonds to be unbreakable. Or at least that’s what it makes us think.’_ That’s it, right?”

Poe nodded and Finn kept reading.

“ _’Now the Omega is often vulnerable during their heat, prone to be attacked and mated by a Beta or Alpha that would never have caught their interest otherwise, simply for the reason that they’re not interesting or strong or fertile enough, to be considered for mating. We already touched upon one-way bonds in the last chapter, but it can be said that the usual bonds that result out of those couplings, are usually one-way bonds. And this is where nature gets interesting. Nature – or our biology – assumes in this moment that the only Alphas who would need a one-way bond are the weak ones. Various studies from the University of Science on Coruscant have shown that to get themselves free of their Alpha and Omega needs to establish the following things. An emotional and physical disconnect between them and their Alpha. A strong will that results in not following a direct order given by their Alpha. At this moment, the bond is broken, but not severed. It can be rebuilt, if the Alpha bites the Omega during a heat again, but every order and every bit of allegiance disappears in that moment, making it possible for the Omega to not only survive their Alpha’s death without any further consequences, but also to kill them themselves. Note: Interesting enough, 67% of the Omegas who had their bond broken during our research spoke of a severed bond, when they attempted to mate with another partner. Further research will show, if it is possible to replace one mate with another, when the bond is broken.’_ ”

Finn looked back at Poe, whose nose was crunched.

“Okay,” he said, still trying to process the information. “So we need to get Ren… Ben away from Snoke for long enough that their connection is severed and then he has to disobey a direct order?”

Poe sighed and nodded. “I mean…”

“Could be worse?”

“Could it be? Do you want to try taking Ren away from Snoke and then pushing him at him again?”

Finn snorted and shook his head. They would have to tell General Organa the news and Finn wasn’t sure what he expected more. Her to actually give them the assignment or to give up, because the pure thought sounded impossible.

 

* * *

 

Hux was too surprised by Ren’s sudden … whatever this was supposed to be, to react. He could just stare at him, kneeling at his feet, head tilted just the right bit to let just the tiniest part of skin show above his high collar.

He was the perfect picture of the obedient Omega Hux knew him not to be. It was … after the first initial wave of possessiveness and lust left him he realised that it wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t why he had these weird traitorous feelings for Ren. And he didn’t want it to be.

But Ren seemed to think differently. After a minute of Hux not reacting at all he rolled his eyes and straightened himself, reaching out with one hand to open Hux’ belt and unzip his zipper.

“Ren!” Hux tried to call him to order, but he got nothing in return. Big hands sneaked into his pants, brushing their knuckles against Hux’ cock and for one moment, the sight of Ren on his feet, his hand and his mouth in close vicinity of his cock, Hux allowed himself to think of the possibilities. Of having Ren’s big lips stretched wide around his cock, his knot.

Ren hummed, but Hux didn’t miss the look of unease on his face.

It was enough for him to come back from his thoughts, to shut them down somewhere where Ren could hopefully not find them and to push his hand against Ren’s shoulder. He pushed him back out of reach of Hux’ pants and his cock.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked and Ren raised his eyebrows.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want this?” he asked mockingly, casting a look at the half-hard dick in front of him and Hux cursed him.

“Are you trying to tell me you want this? Or did the Supreme Leader order you again?” Was something wrong? He had thought that after Ren’s message that everything had gone okay. Surly the Supreme Leader wouldn’t choose Hux again. Not after he had been so insulted by Hux’ treatment of his Mate that he just signed his death sentence. Well, indirectly.

Ren shook his head. “He didn’t order me. I want this.”

And then he leant forward again, mouthing along the hard line of Hux’ cock through his briefs.

He could just let it happen. Just have him once of his own volition and not that of his mate.

No, he decided with the little restraint he had left. He would not lower himself like this and prove the Supreme Leader right.

“No,” he said and buried his hand in Ren’s hair, pulling him back. “I don’t want this.”

He wasn’t sure what made Ren stop immediately, the clear negation or the rejection, but Ren recoiled from him with wide eyes and an open mouth.

He got up before Hux could close his pants again, taking a step back and nodding.

“I see, I… I will…” Ren’s eyes flickered from him to the door, flight instinct like an animal surging up in him.

When he made a step towards the door Hux reached out for him, wrapping his fingers around Ren’s wrist. Ren flinched and made a leap to the side, but he stopped.

“What’s going on, Ren?”

Ren said nothing. His cheeks turned red with embarrassment and he looked down.

“Why do you need me to have sex with you? Did you lose the child? Would the Supreme Leader punish you if he found out?” It was the most logical thing he could think of, but Ren shook his head.

“Just leave it be,” Ren grumbled, but Hux was having none of it.

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Just like you can’t stop being attracted to me?”

Now it was Hux’ turn to recoil. Panic rose in him. Had this been another test by the Supreme Leader? The last one that would determine his fate?

Ren snorted. “I can feel it whenever you look at me. You fucked me twice and suddenly you’re under the impression that you can think of me whenever you jerk off?”

“I did not do that.”

“Whatever,” Ren said and ripped his hand away from Hux. “You want it, I don’t see why you can’t do it.”

“I don’t see why I should.”

“Because we both know he’ll send you to commander some godforsaken ship that will get blown up in collateral damage the next time the Resistance attacks.”

“So what? You’re offering me some kind of pity fuck? I have more integrity than that, Ren.”

Ren clenched his teeth and Hux finally realised that this wasn’t just about him. Ren might spew things about wanting this, but deep down…

“You want to hurt the Supreme Leader.”

It made so much sense Hux wasn’t sure why he hadn’t thought about that in the first place. Ren’s whole demeanour explained itself suddenly.

“So what,” Ren simply said, but the way his whole body tensed let Hux know that he wasn’t as aloof as he gave himself.

“What makes you think sleeping with me will hurt him?”

Ren hesitated and gave another look to the door.

“He’s jealous.” Hux raised his eyebrows in surprise. “He doesn’t care about … the way I feel during it … like you do. So he’s jealous that someone else made me feel … good.”

Despite Ren’s rather weird wording Hux understood him very well. Alpha’s weren’t just possessive about their mates in general, the thought that someone else could do something for them better than they was supposed to be one of the most agonising things someone could feel. So Hux hadn’t just offended him by sleeping with his mate – even though the Supreme Leader had ordered this – he had practically spit in his face by taking care of Ren the way an Alpha was supposed to do. He forced the feeling of pride down as soon as he realised that the Omega of another Alpha preferred him because he was simply … better.

“And why do you want to hurt him?” he continued and Ren sighed, like he was ready to be done with this conversation.

“He’s recalling my command, indefinitely, because of _this_.” He motioned in front of his belly and Hux raised his eyebrows.

“He thinks I failed him as an apprentice, I assume. Are we done now?”

Hux hummed and closed his eyes for a second, thinking about it. What Ren was proposing was spitting in the face of the Supreme Leader and every tradition and value Hux had ever been taught. But it was also spitting in the face of the man who thought that he could throw him away for failures that had been out of his hands.

“One more thing,” he said as he opened his eyes. “Undress and get on the bed.”

Confusion was written on Ren’s face and he followed Hux’ look to the bed on the other side of the room. As he looked back, he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Don’t order me around.”

Suppressing an eye roll at Ren’s sudden mood change, Hux smiled with too much teeth. “Ren, would you please get naked and get on the bed?”

“Why? What are you going to do?”

The Supreme Leader was angry, that Hux had pleased Ren more than he ever had? Maybe Hux could up that one even more.

“Did you like it, when I put my mouth on you?”

Ren swallowed. He nodded.

“I’d like to do that again. Once, maybe twice. I’d like to fuck you if you’re agreeable and then do it again.”

“That does sound agreeable,” Ren answered. Something crossed his face, before he turned around to tear at his own clothes.

Hux took a deep breathe before he followed him. He knew that he was truly done for if he did this, but he also knew that Ren was about to let him do what he wanted to him and sometimes… just sometimes Breandan Hux made decisions based on whims.

Ren was about to lie down on the bed, his skin taunt over his muscles, when Hux called him back.

“Sit down, feet on the floor.”

Ren sat down with a confused look on his face, somehow unashamed and ashamed at having to sit on display and he gulped when Hux knelt down between his legs, nudging them apart with his shoulder. He grabbed one foot and put it over his shoulder, urging Ren to slit closer to the edge.

“That’s good,” he said and Ren’s hand tensed where it was buried in the mattress.

When Hux parted Ren’s folds with two fingers, he found him soaking wet. Hux looked up at Ren and crossed eyes with him, before licking from his cunt to his clit.

Ren’s hips lifted off the bed, inching closer to Hux’ waiting mouth. The moan that spilled over Ren’s lips sounded wanton, like having his cunt eaten out was the best thing that had ever happened to him. With the things that Ren had said earlier about the Supreme Leader’s treatment of him during sex – behaving just like all old conservative Alphas just as Hux had expected – it might as well be.

Despite – or maybe even because of his reaction – Hux found him beautiful.

 

* * *

 

“Shut up,” Kylo said, trying to block out the litany of praise in Hux’ mind. Not that one thing could be called a litany, but Kylo wasn’t used to this and he didn’t want to get used to it. It made him feel all tingly inside and that was unacceptable.

“I didn’t say anything.” Hux raised his eyebrows and the look of him, his face framed between Kylo’s thighs, his mouth hovering over the dark hair between his legs… Kylo swallowed and bit his lips.

Hux seemed to get the message and a hint of smugness filled his mind, before it was once again filled with Kylo. With his taste, his scent- It was so overwhelming that Kylo had to draw back. It was bad enough that Hux could turn him into a blubbering mess with one swipe of his tongue, he didn’t need to get lost in Hux getting off on in. He didn’t get it. Didn’t get why Hux enjoyed it, if he wasn’t getting anything out of it. Kylo would have let Hux fuck him anyway.

After Hux sucked on his clit, Kylo buried his hand in Hux’ hair and he could feel the following hum right to his core.

He whined and pushed his hips up against Hux’ face, before the Alpha pressed them down with a strength Kylo didn’t know he possessed.

“It’s okay, you’re doing so well,” Hux said, before his fingers snuck into Kylo’s opening, pressing wide and deep. Hux coaxed his orgasm from him with a gentleness that surprised Kylo just until the moment he tipped over. He cried out, fell back on the bed and pushed one hand over his eyes.

When he looked back at Hux he realised that his hand was still buried in his hair. It was shaking when he took it out and it was shaking, when he reached out with the Force to pull Hux towards him.

“What the…” Hux yelled, but Kylo ignored him, opting instead for ripping the buttons of his jacket open and pulling it off his slim shoulder.

“Okay, okay, let me get-“ Kylo ignored him and ripped his pants open. He needed Hux in him. He needed to feel him right now.

He rolled them over, away from the edge and Hux grunted at him. The contrast of Kylo’s naked thighs against his half clothed body did something to Kylo that he couldn’t explain, but he opted to ignore it.

“Ren, you’re too sensi-“

Again Kylo ignored Hux and freed his cocks from his pants. It was hard and thick in his hand, red and leaking a drop of precome. Kylo ignored the uneasy feeling and just focused on what he knew would feel good. He sank down on it without any more fuss, hissing when it connected with his oversensitive flesh. So that was what Hux had meant.

But right now Kylo didn’t care. He couldn’t. The only thing he concentrated on was bouncing himself up and down, drowning in the feeling of Hux inside him, under him, around him when he processed his thoughts too loud again. He didn’t realise just how sensitive he was until Hux’ dragged his fingernails from his ass to his hip, right as his knot locked him inside Kylo.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Hux panted, but it was already too late to pull out.

Kylo winced in pain. It was too much, it was too fast. _It wasn’t enough._

“Ren, Ren, look at me.” He opened his eyes and looked at Hux, trying to calm down, but the mix of pain and pleasure had never been so strong. He found it hard to focus and he felt lost in his desire, overwhelmed by the pressure.

When Hux rose up towards him, pressing one soothing hand on his hip, massaging circles on it with his thumb, Kylo took a deep breathe.

“You’re doing so well,” Hux said and Kylo nodded, while trying to relax and enjoy. Hux’ lips pressed against the skin right under his ear, his tongue flicking out and he whined.

Hux kept mumbling sweet nothings into his ear, that soothed Kylo more than he wanted to admit and by the time Hux finger had wandered over to his clit, the pain had been pushed to the back of his mind.

Hux kept a steady rhythm on it, making Kylo shake and shudder and he dug his nails into Hux’ shoulders.

“That’s it,” Hux said while he coaxed another orgasm out of him and Kylo hated him, loved him, loathed him, never wanted to let him go. He wanted to be consumed by this feeling, wanted nothing more than to drown in it. He pressed his mouth on Hux’ on a whim, not thinking too much about it.

Hux opened his mouth under his, surging up to get closer, deeper and Kylo asked himself: _Why haven’t I done this before?_

He had been kissed before of course. Once. During that first heat. But it hadn’t been like this, it hadn’t left him panting for more, desiring it like water in a desert.

Hux buried his free hand in Kylo’s hair, pulling him closer, deeper, all while rubbing his clit, and when Kylo came this time, he realised that he had never felt more alive than in this moment.

 

“What are you going to do?” Hux asked him twenty minutes later. Kylo was sitting on the bed, ready to put on his clothes again. He was facing away from Hux, not daring to look at him and he didn’t know what to think about any of this.

“What do you mean?”

“Ren.”

He bent down to his pants, when Hux reached out for him.

“Kylo.” There was an urge in Hux’ voice that Kylo couldn’t quite explain and he finally turned around. Hux was propped up against the pillow, his clothes now completely discarded on the floor. He was completely naked, unashamed, but they had seen all of each others bodies already.

“Come here, please,” Hux added and Kylo slid back on the bed, next to Hux, his head thumping against the headboard.

He heard Hux sigh next to him, felt his annoyance, but when two fingers dipped his head up, Hux looked at him with an expression that was utterly foreign to Kylo. If he didn’t know any better he would have said that Hux looked fond. Of him.

The thought was ridiculous up until the moment, Hux leaned forward and kissed him again. Kylo opened his mouth for him, welcoming his presence. Kissing, Kylo found, was really something _he_ was getting quite fond of.

“Are you going to follow the Supreme Leader’s orders?” Hux asked, when they parted and Kylo wanted to chase after him, wanted to feel this again. He didn’t want to talk and especially not about this.

He knew that he couldn’t tell Hux the truth. Hux had always been loyal, always been willing to give his life and he couldn’t even imagine what would Hux do if he found out that Kylo was leaving. Was running away.

“What else am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know.” The look on Hux’ face told him that he could imagine a lot of things Kylo could do. So close it was hard not to pick up all the different things Hux thought of. He thought of Kylo running away to the outer rim, hiding somewhere, he thought of Kylo killing the Supreme Leader, he thought of Kylo going back to his family. But somehow he was always alone.

It was this that assured Kylo that his choice was right. Hux didn’t see himself leaving, he didn’t see himself having a life or death away from the First Order. Especially not with Kylo.

“I guess I’ll see when it comes to that.”

“Planning was never your specialty,” Hux huffed and Kylo didn’t even feel the need to hurt him. He slid down on the headboard, leaned his head against Hux’ bony shoulder.

Maybe he could enjoy Hux’ presence for a few hours longer, before he had to leave. There was nothing wrong with that, at this point. It wasn’t as if Snoke wasn’t going to punish him anyway, as soon as he could get hold of him. But right now he was save and he could be careless. Kylo realised in this moment, that he would do anything to keep it this way.

 

 

_When the Omega wakes up, it is curled around a skinny Alpha. Its skin stinks of sex and there is dried come between its thighs._

_It is disgusting. It feels disgusting. It let someone else touch it, someone that wasn’t its Alpha. It is worthless._

_The Omega untangles itself from the Alpha, careful not to wake him. It knows what it needs to do now. Knows what something like it deserves and also know what someone like the Alpha deserves. The Omega reaches out with one hand, looking for its weapon._

_It finds it under discarded clothes on the floor, obviously taken off in a hurry. The sight of it makes the Omega feel disgusting. How could it dare to go behind its Alpha’s back, to be nothing more than a common whore, just like its Alpha had always said._

_The Omega feels bile rise up in its throat and fights it down. It has to be silent now, not waking the other Alpha, the one who took what didn’t belong to him, is important now._

_The Omega reaches for the weapon and turns it on._

_Then it turns around, looking at the Alpha._

_It knows what it has to do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've enjoyed this chapter, consider leaving a comment or following me on [tumblr](http://everknowing.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/theeverknowing).


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